scrupulosity

i’m so hard on myself. it’s hard for me to walk in the forgiveness of the Lord. like whenever i mess up, the enemy sends suicidal thoughts. it’s awful. i stressed myself out to the point i didnt eat for over a month really and i lost almost 20 pounds (i was 138 originally, and ended up being 118 in a couple month’s time). i get soooo hard on myself and i believe the Lord is so hard on me i always wonder if He’s disappointed in me. if He’s mad at me. if He’s angry with me. it freaks me out and makes me question and overthink every move i make. it’s awful. i’ve really been staying inside the house for the past 2 weeks because outside makes me feel anxious and sad. i just feel overwhelmed and i stop talking to Him because He scares me. AND IT’S NOT EVEN HIM SAYING ALL THOSE THINGS, IT’S THE ENEMY LYING TO ME. he (the enemy) speaks of his own nature so when the thoughts of “you’re not good enough” or “you’re a disappointment” or “you’re always messing up and God is so angry with you”, are his own because he thinks that about himself. trying to take these thoughts captive and not self sabotage and be so hard on myself, but it’s tough.

Anonymous

Date posted: 35w

You’re not alone! Our God is loving and doesn’t want you to be so hard on yourself. You’ve got this and you are loved!!!!

Z4CH

Date posted: 35w

You are 100% correct, those are lies from the evil one. We’re imperfect people and we all mess up, but we have to ground ourselves in the TRUTH that God’s forgiveness is greater than our sin, and His love is greater than our short comings. Keep up the good fight, it’s worth it because He lives. Just prayed for you!

CJ_022

Date posted: 14w

Scrupulosity

Been having blasphemous intrusive thoughts about God. Then sometimes I’m really struggling and I feel resentful, sometimes even towards God, which I know is not right, I want to have reverence. But it feels like sometimes I think the blasphemous thoughts on purpose because of my anger. I don’t know if this is an OCD issue or an issue of my heart or both. But yeah I don’t know what to do.

Cammy123

Date posted: 13w

struggling with blasphemous thoughts & doubt!

It’s been hard. I feel so trapped. I felt okay about a week ago. But these thoughts are really hitting me hard. Especially doubt too. Doubt if God & Jesus loves me because of these awful blasphemous thoughts! Doubts if I’m his child! Doubts if I am saved! I feel like I’m thinking then on purpose but I don’t want these thoughts! They bother me so much! It’s like a tick or Tourette’s in my brain. I also have thoughts switches I’ll say I love god but then it’ll changed to something so evil is gross :( It feels like I don’t have a relationship with God anymore or like I don’t know how to anymore. It makes me sad and stressing me out. I obviously try not to think awful things but the more I try not too the worse they are. I just feel so lost. I was so on fire and felt like my faith for God & Jesus was unstoppable but now I feel like I’m so far or how could he possibly love me anymore. How could I have these thoughts :(

jesus.is.fre...

Date posted: 8w

CHRISTIANS WITH OCD PLS HELP HELP HELP

I dont want this anymore. I can't do this every day, 24 hours a day. I even have nightmares of it. I feel bullied by my own mind. I am convinced it's a demonic spirit, or a stronghold. I am not sure. Whatever God is speaking to me I'm not getting it. I feel sick and depleted. I am afraid of loosing my teeth or something because of grinding so hard in my sleep. I gain weight even though I'm eating right and taking steps purely from stess; I never knew a person could be so stressed. My eyes are twitching, my skin is horrible, my thoughts never stop. I have intrusive thoughts of "giving my ..... to ". I'm not going to fill in the blanks because my mind won't let me. I dont understand what God wants and what He is saying to me. Does anyone else with Religious OCD experience the same thing? I bring this to Christ daily but I'm so so desperate and alone and scared. My whole body is in pain from stress, like it's clenched. I know Christ is in control, but dear God in Heaven just answer me already. Set me free. I'm turning 22 in a week. God just set me free.

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