Im having an ocd attack about my emotions

Something made me sad and imediatelly i felt anxious. People say change your reactions but sometimes these "reactions" are so automatic, you cant change it, so i dont understand what they mean by change it. The anxiety was automatic like the sadness. But for some reason even after trying to focus on the present, the emotion stayed and i struggle to shift my focus on the present moment when theres a symptom like dizzyness or a strong feeling. And this is happening right now, i jist notice the automatic reactions to the feelings which feeds it more but also makes me frustrated cause they are automatic and i cant shift my attention, i cant stop them, cause trying it will make it worse, but also focusing on them feeds my anxiety and it doesnt go away. I also noticed and automatic reaction like "this wont work, i cant do this, this is so scary" and i dont know what to do with this, i dont like it cause it doesnt help me, but trying to fight with it makes me desperate and frustrated... Also weeks before i had a really bad anxiety attack and i started feel so dizzy, i felt in danger, it didnt went away and i was afraid that i either faint or i will vomit because of the dizziness. How do you cope with that? How to you lose the fear of it cause now i notice deep down im frightened to experience that again cause i cant cope with it...

FloralEnvoy

Date posted: 32w

No emotion is automatic. There are things called primary and secondary, even tertiary reactions. Anger is an example. Nobody is angry first. As a child, things that make you angry today probably confused you or made you feel unsafe and getting angry was a behavior you developed from observing other people and feeling the need to defend yourself from whatever stimuli was making you feel unsafe. Anger is a secondary reaction. Anxiety is also a secondary reaction, it is essentially fear. Anxiety takes that fear and introduces the need to interact with it. You can run from fear, you can't run from Anxiety. If I run from a real threat, I may be safe. If I run from a perceived threat, I can just perceive something else to be afraid of. Does this make sense? We often engage in repetitive behavior regarding anxiety to form rituals that help us feel safe and more regulated. This repetitive behavior forms habits that sort of operate like grooves in our brains. Think of emotions like water that travels through those grooves. The deeper they are, the easier water can collect in and follow those grooves.

PRIV8

Date posted: 32w

Yeah but either way you do something that takes away the focus from anxiety cause if you would focus fully on anxiety it would grow... I struggle now to know how to react to the thoughts that has really high anxiety, like i want to just not react but the anxiety is there and im hyper aware of it and theres an automatic "oh my God, oh God" reaction, and im trying to shut that down but it gets worse. Even when i just notice anxiety i get a negative reaction over that that is so strong. Maybe im so focused on how i feel

FloralEnvoy

Date posted: 32w

@PRIV8 You are responding anxiously TO feeling anxious. It's alright, we've all been there, but reacting to feeling dysregulated is only gonna make you feel worse. You gotta have compassion for yourself. Would you want your best friend getting themselves caught up in an anxiety spiral? Of course not, so why do you deserve to be?

PRIV8

Date posted: 24w

This illness brings up intrusive feelings

I was told that this illness that im having now(some say its some kind of covid) is attacking people where they are the most sensitive, so it got my mental health and at first it was the fear of my health which im starting to face but now it got deeper and i have feelings of hopelessness and like a depressed feelings and thoughts like things wont get better. And i dont know where this comes from, im afraid this is actually what i believe. Dont know if its ocd or the illness actually made these problem come up what was pushed away by me... When i have these feelings my first reaction is fear and i dont know if its something i shouldnt give attention or the fear is actually bad and it makes me avoid the problem, so i should work on this depression... I dont know whats happening but its scarry and i dont like these dark thoughts. I think i suffer more because of the fear and shame of these thoughts but again i dont know if the fear and shame shows me that i dont need to give attention to these thoughts or the fear and shame actually blocks me to deal with these thoughts and feelings...

PRIV8

Date posted: 20w

What is this feeling that i feel?

For 3 days I had a feeling that came up pretty often and I cant name it, I dont know what is it and the more i try to see what is it the more i feel worse. Usually letting feeling be and letting yourself experience it helps but not with this. I find myself feel grumpier, triggered and more angry. Its a mix of fear, but then i get angry too and I dont find letting myself experience it helpful cause I just stuck there. It feels like its in my chest and when it gets triggered it makes things hard to enjoy. I tried to be kind with myself and see what causes it but trying to be kind with myself triggers this annoying feeling and it just gets worse... i dont know what helps thats why i ask your help, if you ever experienced this... also i what i almlst forgot to mention, what is really important is that i became really sensitive to every thought, and any thought can trigger this feeling or any thought can trigger a negative feeling that will trigger this feeling. And honestly the "just accept it and let yourself feel what you feel" doesnt helps here cause i find myself really angry that i have to let myself feel the emotions that are triggered by these intrusive thoughts...

Andi 🤓☝️

Date posted: 17w

Anxious

I'm at my college and don't feel like being here. I didn't even want to come here. I woke up with anxiety bc i feel like i need to solve this. I had a bad stomach ache when i arrived to school and still havent even eaten breakfast yet bc i feel like i have to solve this. Im just so worried bc i have harm thoughts daily. If i could i would remove this! I dont want to think anymore. Its just, how do I know i dont have real urges when I'm feeling a negative emotion like anger or disappointment or annoyance? Im worried EVERY time i feel a negative emotion. Yesterday I was playing video games with my neice (we are close in age range) and she made us lose. She started blaming me and I guess i felt a little annoyed, it really wasnt my fault (dumb mini argument it was more playful since we started laughing but it was a bit annoying). Anyway i got a harm thought while feeling annoyed of me getting off the couch and lunging at her to attack. I immediately look at my bodily reaction and I tense up to stay as still as possible. My stomach was hurting and i wanted to leave as fast as possible. I stood up and turned off the game and said i was tired while making sure to stay back from her (and i had my hands away and stiff) but i felt so uneasy. I laid I bed and felt sad and heavy. And i kept getting thoughts that said "íts only a matter of time before you can't take it anymore". I started to reassurance seek using ai to ask if i was about to or if they are real urges or thoughts i mean until i eventually fell asleep in the middle of the compulsion. Im just so worried, what if I act out impulsevly one day? I dont want to! But what if when feeling a negative emotion, i suddenly dont care and do something? I really dont want to! I dont even want to feel negative emotions anymore since they trigger the thoughts and I dont want to think about any of that. As a result i tend to avoid my family as much as possible bc they are annoying sometimes. I just wish i was all alone sometimes so i wont get any more thoughts and so everyone can be safe. I usually just stay in bed under my blankets all day long to avoid my family and pets. I am constantly uncomfortable. I miss when i would never think any of this. Living life has become very scary for me now. 😞

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Im having an ocd attack about my emotions

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