Cry :(

I don’t even know who I m gonna overcome health ocd I don’t think is possible I m here trying to be okay but my brain keep remainder me that my blood pressure was super high on dec 26 and that I could have a stroke or heart attack at any minute I m believing this thoughts because is true my blood pressure was high I know I m supposed to let the thoughts be and lean to the uncertainty but how do I accept that I may have a heart attack or no or stroke but the chances seem high because I have proof blood pressure is high I m so done :(

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Date posted: 32w

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Monii

Date posted: 32w

@literatureandpumpkinsx Yes go back and forth with it I let the thought be but sometimes I ruminate about it and try to find a solution I have the worse health ocd ever I swear so far I m on high risk for heart attacks or stroke according to having my blood pressure high I m terrified of taking it at the doctor but at the same time I want to take it to make sure I m good how did you moved on from this I do confess as well I didn’t realize it so you stop the compulsion and the thoughts continue ? That’s how mine is it switch but health theme is always always there I don’t know if this is from trauma or what but health never leave I had so many trauma bad things happened to me I was 6 years old

Monii

Date posted: 32w

@literatureandpumpkinsx Ah ok thank you I will start doing that I don’t google at all I just ruminate after going to the doctor and try to answer questions what if ? and also try to take blood pressure and watch my body for any sensations I m aware of what I m doing wrong I feel so stupid like I m aware but can’t stop it sometimes

Monii

Date posted: 32w

@literatureandpumpkinsx What triggered me was seeing my high blood pressure mark as hypertension and a paper from the doctor talking about about how If is no treat it it can lead to heart attacks and stroke she said no to worry about and took to my regular doctor to retake it but I m so scared to retake it but the same time I want to go to make sure I m good and if is good then I will still worry that one day I just gonna collapse and die because it was high and didn’t know so basically I want to take it everyday but I m know is no correct so I haven’t take it I have a blood pressure machine at home but I hide it and haven’t touch it

issphra 🫶🏻

Date posted: 22w

ocd is at level 99/100, im gonna burst into flames

My OCD is going absolutely insane right now. There are SO many stressors, so much mental and physical stress. I feel crazy. UGH I’m gonna let myself keep crying for now because ☹️

alyssa_h

Date posted: 19w

i can’t do this much longer

i’m having a full on panic attack, i never used to be like this, what tf is happening to me, why am i like this, i’m so convinced i’m a horrible person and i deserve to be shut out forever because of my thoughts, i’m tired of struggling with harm ocd, i’m scared that because i have mental health issues i’m gonna end up ki!!ing someone someday or end up on the news, when i was at work earlier i kept thinking “how easy would it be to ki!! someone and get away with it” someone help, i don’t feel normal, am i crazy?… 😭😭i know that with ocd you’re not supposed to have reassurance and you have to be “okay” with the situation but.. how am i supposed to be okay with feeling like i could hurt someone…

Conquering_OCD

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 17w

Hurting so deeply

I am hurting so much right now. I feel sad and disgusted with myself that I would even worry about these things (pocd). What kind of a human even thinks that and has doubts about that?? Definitely not one that’s rational or mentally sane. That kind of stuff should be a no brainer so why do I worry about it so much and what does it say about me? I feel sick and disgusted and can’t stop crying over it. I just feel so defeated like I want to disappear. I started ERP and every time I resist reassuring myself it comes back at me from every angle. I hate this so much.

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Cry :(

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