STD/STI

Very common health anxiety. i used to be OBSESSED with the fear of genital herpes. The "test" for it is unreliable and most doctors wont test due to it. basically, the only true way to know you have it is when you experience and outbreak. I had read all the scary online stuff about how it can be dormant for years. I would bend over an examine my private ( I'm a female for context) like 15 times a day. Id go into the bathroom, examine every inch, feel ok, walk out only to turn RIGHT back around to check again. Id even take pictures of what i thought were spots and send to my best friend ( yea girls are weird sometimes) and ask if she saw what i saw and she would say she saw nothing. Usually it would be a razor burn or i would actually see something that wasn't even there. i examined myself so often that i actually damaged my skin down there.... SO YES you are not alone. The way you beat it, is accept it. testing, online research, those are all compuslsions that feed your obsession. And as you have already found out, they don't work. 4 tests in and your still finding ways to doubt ( OCD is called the doubting disease) you can test 10 more times and you will still find a reason to doubt ( its still too soon, its a bad test, they mixed up my results, i HAD an STD but its gone now). Google is also THE DEVIL. it will tell you EVERY POSSIBLE scenario but wont highlight the most LIKELY scenario, which is that with STDS, YES they CAN be asymptomatic, but MORE often than not, they have VERY obvious symptoms. So what you need to do is accept that you might... but you also might not(and probably don't). understand that might does not equal likely, you could be looking at a 1 in a million likleyhood. Let that be enough. Tell yourself your in good health, you got tested, they say you are clean, and getting tested is the standard to consider yourself safe for sex with others so you don't have to feel guilty for more encounters. To this day i still wonder if i might have dormant herpes, and to that is say " oh well, guess ill just deal with it if i ever get an out break, there are meds i can take, ill be fine regardless" and i carry on with my life.

Hi, I’m sorry to hear that you’re experiencing this. Firstly, yes; this is extremely common with Health Concern OCD. I, myself; experienced this years ago and it unfortunately took over my life entirely and consumed me from the inside out. Unfortunately, it caused my onset episode; of which, spiraled into chronic OCD, severe anxiety disorder and major depressive disorder. Please, don’t allow this to also happen to you! Secondly, you must keep on the forefront of your mind that your encounter was protected. I too had a protected encounter that triggered this episode. I went for in-person tests at both my primary care doctor, urgent cares and even took at home tests throughout the entire duration of the time period. I had become a shell of myself; hollow on the inside and what felt like was entirely lost for life. However, you need to address this with a therapist ASAP/STAT before this situation becomes out of control. Trust me, I know the depths of hell this situation could bring you to and I urge to at act on seeking out help before you ever have to experience anything similar to what I went through and endure the pain, suffering and agony that it could cause you. In the interim; please, stop doing research online and only focus on the information being provided to you in-person by physicians, etc. Meanwhile, please be mindful and gentle with yourself while you go through this process. Addressing the core issue of which is OCD will be the best possible treatment for you in the now and in the long run! Sending you love, compassion and support while suffering from the monster and battling the beast that is OCD 💌

@Anonymous @TexasOCD41 @lamebrain **Trigger Warning** I have been struggling with this for over a decade and am struggling with this pretty hard right now. It has negatively impacted my life in a large way - so much fear around STDs and caused a lot of suffering. It made it difficult to get into relationships or even be intimate with someone. I not only worry about actual sex but the possibility of being infected from cuts particularly during masturbation on the receiving end and giving end. For context - Heterosexual male. I first joined a not-for-profit organization ASHA to get basic information to what safe sex was so I wasn't totally ignorant which I though would help. In this organization are MDs and an NP who specialize in this and give guidance on safe sex but not necessarily education. It turned out more nuanced than I though with respect to infections being asymptomatic, there being waiting periods for testing, specificities with tests, and the concern for skin-to-skin infections, etc. I then thought it would be wise to get basic knowledge on the immune system to help me be more informed, help understand the mechanisms of structure and how the immune system functions to fight infection to no avail - why are people asymptomatic was something I researched too. Any slight perceived exposure from someone that is not in a committed relationship with me even if it is with a friend makes me go crazy. The waiting period at least for HSV2 is overwhelming. What's more, every STI has the same trigger for me; they are equally as concerning because it is hard to categorize in an itemized way of the danger of each. My head comes up with many possibilities of how I could had been infected and not been adequately tested yet. The biggest and main fear is actually infecting someone else. You guys are definitely not alone with it.