Is this OCD?..or

Lately ive been questioning my sexuality due to a thought that ive had for a long time but never dwelled on the thought was about me liking my girlfriend more when she identified as a male and does that make me straight.. I still love my girlfriend and love hanging out with her but before she detransitioned i felt like our relationship wasn’t as bad and healthier and my anxiety has made me feel as if it was healthier because im only into men and that I have no interest in being with women despite me being deeply attracted to them.. I also feel like im putting on a persona or faking it just for the “trend” I used to be so certain on my sexuality but now im just stressed thinking about the possibility of being straight and I feel guilty about possibly lying to my girlfriend im constantly needing reassurance and asking people if im straight and looking back at past experiences to see if I am or not and I think the worst part is that I havent been diagnosed with OCD but ive had plenty of thoughts like this before that i’ve stressed over.

Anonymous

Date posted: 31w

When you say your "sexuality" do you mean your "sexual orientation"? Sorry if I'm not following but I wanted to clarify before responding to a question you might not be asking.

AriBillz

Date posted: 31w

@Anonymous Yes sorry for not being clear on that 😭

Anonymous

Date posted: 31w

@AriBillz All good! I just wanted to make sure I was responding to your concern! I used to stress about my sexual orientation a lot. If I thought someone of the same sex was attractive OCD would automatically start asking things like "Why do you want to sleep with that person?" or "Are you not straight?" and even if I didn't find someone of the opposite sex attractive or even if I thought they were attractive, clearly having no interest in sleeping with them that was also "bad" and meant that I "obviously" wasn't straight, etc, etc. I've gotten to the point now where I largely leave it alone. Josh Hutcherson had a great response, I thought, to being asked about his sexuality. The AI Overview when I Google it is: Josh Hutcherson has described his sexuality as "mostly straight", but he has also acknowledged that he could be attracted to men in the future. He has said, "Maybe I could say right now I'm 100 percent straight, but who knows? In a [expletive] year, I could meet a guy and be like, 'Whoa, I'm attracted to this person'". I could be wrong but I think saying I'm 100 percent this or 100 percent that doesn't leave room for any nuance and doesn't factor in what we want for ourselves at all. I don't identify as straight anymore and usually chose not to identify in most scenarios where I'm asked i.e., medical paperwork, therapy intake forms, etc. I am a cis woman in a relationship with a cis man but that doesn't mean I'll never be attracted to, want to sleep with or even participate in a sexual experience with another adult who may or may not be a cis man ever in my life but I get to make that choice if or when I'm confronted with it. My advice would be to find some comfort in the ambiguity: what you want today may not be what you always want (and that goes for topics beyond your sexual orientation of course), but until *you* want something different, OCD doesn't get to rob you of the right now for something that may or may not ever materialize. To your point about not being diagnosed yet, sexual orientation OCD was one of my earlier themes (it started maybe around middle school) and I only sought out therapy in the last year, being diagnosed +/- 14 years after this theme first became prevalent. It sounds like OCD to me. I'd very much recommend starting therapy so you can work through this and take back your power with a professional. There is hope and healing on the other side of OCD.

vaiiolyn

Date posted: 19w

Lesbian with Sexual Orientation OCD

I need too know that I'm not insane, really. I am 16 and for the past two weeks, this has been completely ruining my health and happiness. I only recently came out as a lesbian like 3 months ago after a lot of confusion about my attraction since I used to think I liked men. At first, I felt so sure that I liked women, but lately, I've been having these unwanted thoughts about the possibility of liking men. I never used to feel this way, but now, every time I look at a man, my brain obsessively fixates on it. It forces me to imagine kissing him, loving him, things I don’t want, and then tries to convince me that I do. It’s painful. The thought of this fills me with fear and anxiety, leading to panic attacks and breakdowns. I don’t want these thoughts. I hate them with every fiber of my being, but I’m terrified that one day I’ll act on them and somehow like it. I used to think I liked men, but back then, I was in a very unhealthy space in a time of escapism and something deeply parasocial. I’ve only ever liked the attention and validation a man could give me, but these experiences are somehow treated as further proof that I’m "bisexual." I’ve never been in a real relationship with anyone, which makes my brain constantly challenge me—telling me, “You don’t even know what love feels like.” It won’t shut up. It keeps obsessively trying to make me prove that I’m a lesbian, testing my reactions and questioning my certainty. Is this normal?

Masc4lesb

Date posted: 15w

LESBIAN WITH SO-OCD

hi i’m a lesbian! and i have known im a lesbian for a really long time and i have a sweet girlfriend of 1 year. it all started when i saw this masc lesbian come out as straight, after that i had my guy friend over and he’s a sweet guy and he was flirting with me (he didn’t know i was gay) im not sure but i panicked and my brain froze and i was like “do i like him”, ever since my brain has been over worked 24/7 for 2 months now and it’s spiralling constantly. im trying to control it but all these thoughts are so disgusting and my brain tries to put him and i in scenarios that make me uncomfortable and i feel panic and i hate it. i have always been comfortable being a lesbian and i still am comfortable as a lesbian, but i dislike these thoughts i have about him and men and i want it to be over. i do not want to experiment with men even tho my brain is telling me i do, i find it disgusting and i dread it, i have a sweet girlfriend and i want to be with her forever, i do not imagine anything with any men and i hate these thoughts. im scared of becoming bisexual/straight one day and i hate hearing sexuality is fluid. its a whole mix of comphet and so-ocd

yaya_zz

Date posted: 12w

Sexual ocd

Hey guys so I have been suffering with sexual ocd due to the fact that I don’t feel that romantic spark with him anymore, I love him and I know I do but I get to much in my thoughts thinking about why can’t I feel that anymore what has changed what if I don’t wanna be with anymore I’ve been with him for 4 years and at first I think it was ROCD but now I started thinking what if I’m into girls now I’ve always been the type to say oh a girl is so pretty or I like this about her but now I feel like every time I see a girl I’m like do I see myself in a relationship with her oh she’s pretty oh I like her voice do I find it attractive and sometimes I do !!! Which is killing me I feel disgust thinking about because what if I secretly am no shame to people who are my sister herself is but I just feel wierd because I wanna be with my husband and feel happy there not with a girl and feel like a man because I see myself in the mirrior and I’m like do I myself being a man do I look lesbian? Do I act lesbian or bi? What if secretly I wanna be a man or I imagine myself being a man in a relationship with a pretty girl and idk what to think

Sexual Orientation OCD

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