Ocd about cheating on my girlfriend

So i play in a band, and we were having practice, and my girlfriend was there listening to us, then this girl around our age walks in, and my head tells me to cheat on my girlfriend with her. I know i would never do such a thing. And it bothered me for days. And i ended up telling my girlfriend, and tried to explain my ocd. It hurt her and she believes that the instrusive thoughts, are my thoughts so in that, i must feel something behind them. And she feels hurt because i explained to her the obsessive part of ocd and how this thought wouldnt leave my head. And she got upset knowing that i was constantly thinking about cheating on her. I cant help but feel its all my fault. And now that she doesnt understand i feel really guilty for my thoughts and they are coming more often and worse. When i was fine for months, but my ocd always acts up right as i get in relationships, then i usually tell my spouse and tell them i cant feel guilt for my thoughts or they will get worse. And they usually just accepted it and it was easy. But with her it seems she just cant seem to understand, ive tried to explain it to her countless times, she isnt willing to do research with me to help better understand it or anything. Maybe for my first ocd issue telling her that wasnt the best idea.

Username: jahsuxksjahsuxks

Date posted: 8d ago

You don’t have to tell your girlfriend every intrusive thought—this is actually a common symptom of OCD. Overthinking and feeling like you have to confess everything can become exhausting for both you and her. It’s not having these thoughts that will hurt your relationship, but burdening her with all of them could. This isn’t to say you can’t ever share what’s on your mind, but some thoughts are just for you to manage. You know you won’t cheat; your OCD is just making you overthink it. It’s okay to find people attractive—everyone does. What matters is that you don’t act on those feelings, and I’m not saying to obsess over anyone either. Your OCD might even trick you into thinking you’re more focused on someone than you really are. But thinking someone looks good or is objectively attractive isn’t cheating; it’s just human nature. For example, I’m straight, but I can still see a well-dressed man and think, “Wow, he’s objectively put together,” or notice a woman is pretty. That doesn’t mean I’m cheating, and neither are you. OCD just has a way of latching onto what matters most to you—like a healthy relationship—and making you doubt yourself. You’re not keeping secrets from her by choosing not to share intrusive thoughts. In fact, holding back those thoughts sometimes can actually protect her from unnecessary stress. There’s a big difference between having a thought and acting on it. For instance, if you were following someone on Instagram, messaging them, or crossing boundaries, that’s different. But intrusive thoughts alone? They don’t make you a bad boyfriend. You’re not alone in this, and you’re not a bad person. It’s okay to have these thoughts; the key is to not let OCD convince you they’re something they’re not.

Username: Sam.sam008Sam.sam008

Date posted: 8d ago

Its good that you told her and are able to recognize what you feel. Most guys wouldn't tell and would hide it which only makes it worse and can lose trust in a relationship. There's not much you can do if she can't understand, and most people wouldn't. Maybe try talking to her more or listen to music she likes so you'll think more of her and less of cheating. And In general just talk to her, have good conversations and reassure her if she needs it. This doesn't make you a bad boyfriend.

Username: sammyjcsammyjc

Date posted: 8d ago

@Sam.sam008 Well i dont even think about cheating anymore that thought is vanished. Its the fact that i did in the first place and she wont let it go and understand that i cant help getting thoughts like that

Username: Sam.sam008Sam.sam008

Date posted: 8d ago

@sammyjc Shes not letting it go because her mind might still be telling her that you think about it. She might be overthinking and need reassurance. I know that dealing with someone who overthinks can be hard just ask her how she feels and what shes thinking and over explain if you have to

Username: sammyjcsammyjc

Date posted: 8d ago

@Sam.sam008 How the hell do i get her to understand ocd though, my thoughts are just gonna keep coming if she doesnt understand how i work

Username: Imnotalone,ihavevalueImnotalone,i...

Date posted: 8d ago

You didn’t do anything wrong tbh. Your OCD is blowing your part in this out of proportion. Tbh, I would just focus on caring for your OCD, and seeking treatment. Ultimately, you are doing your best with the cards you were given. You are learning and growing. You are building a relationship - and those don’t look like always saying or doing the right things. They look like always trying to do your best and growing alongside a person. I’m proud of you for posting this, for caring for yourself, and for trying your best. Ruminating won’t fix anything. Trust yourself. You got this.

Username: mar322

Date posted: 24w ago

Pregnancy and worsening (cheating rocd)ocd

I have noticed that my ocd symptoms has went sooooo downhill after my second trimester. I am terrified that this will get only worse during pregnancy. I recently finished my therapy and i dont have any medication currently. I have been getting instrutive false memories from past event. I feel that i’m losing my mind with it, and been crying all these 3 days in a row. I feel like i need to confess these hurtful false memories and instrutive thoughts to my man and i can see him getting upset by them. So, this one tv show triggered my cheating ocd, where this one girl kissed another guy than his spouse. And my situation basicaly was a taxi ride home with my male friend (i promised him to go for his avec to one wedding before knowing my man so i went. We never had anything romantic between us just old colleagues), and i was tipsy and telling him how glad i am to have him as one of my good friends. I kissed him on his cheek and the chat was that. Then we went home where my fiance and other friend was. This happened 3 yrs ago. So i think the cheek kiss triggered my cheating ocd also bc of that tv show. I have told my partner about this millions of times and he is okay with everything. There didnt happen anything else. (Even my ocd is reallllyyyy making it hellish for me to say this) Still i am ruminating so much. And i am doubting that do i remember right, did i kiss him properly, is there smtng i havent registered bc of alcohol etcetc. Or the worst have i told him not to tell me if i ask him? Its so ridiculous. I am SO dissapointed to myself as i was doing so well couple of months ago and now literally i have been asking reassurance from this person who was at the event with me already 2 years ago and now again. Im just embarrasing myself so bad right now😭 I feel so helpless with these kind of situations

Username: 𝐩𝐮𝐦𝐩𝐤𝐢𝐧🤍🦇🎃

Date posted: 20w ago

Would someone help me with this OCD thought ?

So i use to get a lot of relationship OCD. I recently got into a relationship two months ago. i have been experiencing some relationship OCD thoughts like “do i like my partner enough” and to complete the compulsion of telling them that i am having this thought. I use to be able to conquer them but after bringing it up in therapy it got worse. does anyone have any recommendations on how to conquer this compulsion and thought? I don’t want to scare my partner away.

Username: George R25

Date posted: 14w ago

Dating paranoia

I've just started dating this really great girl. She doesn't know about my ocd which is fine but I've noticed that a lot of my intrusive thoughts and worries about not following routines now revolve around losing her or her believing I'm a bad person. I just don't want this relationship to make me so paranoid. I also know have this where if I see a girl on my Instagram or on the Internet, I'll feel an overwhelming urge to clean myself and the device I viewed it on. This is part of a moral reaction and I also worry I'm not being loyal. I feel I should try and not follow through with these compulsions but as they now revolve around keeping my girlfriend I'm not sure. Any advice?

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Ocd about cheating on my girlfriend

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