Username: anonn

Date posted: 5w ago

ROCD intrusive thoughts

no clue if this is compulsive, but I’m interested to hear any obsessions others have that aren’t the “common” ones you see online about what ROCD is? a few for me: - thoughts about their partner being with someone else instead (sometimes a specific person) and then trying to analyze your reaction to it? e.g. does it *feel* more right than us, do I actually feel happy for them, etc. - trying to imagine your partner in your current situation or maybe a specific future situation (when they’re not around) and trying to decide if they “fit” in it? - being super scared of losing them, then suddenly feeling like you don’t care much for them at all, and just constantly cycling? - I almost never fully enjoyed sex because I was constantly obsessing about whether or not I was turned on, turned on “enough,” if I was just having groinal responses and wasn’t actually turned on, looking at his face just to decide if I find him attractive enough, comparing my experience with how I feel watching content alone, etc.

Username: claire12claire12

Date posted: 5w ago

Hi! I feel the second to last one all the time. I’ll picture certain scenarios without my partner in them to see how I feel and then I become terrified and I cycle through that all the time. I also struggle with abandonment issues too, so this could be a contributing factor! So I think for me it’s a checking compulsion and also my trauma. I’m sorry you are going through this❤️

Username: anonnanonn

Date posted: 5w ago

@claire18 I totally get you! thanks so much for the response, it def helps me feel less alone. I’m sorry for your struggles too and hope they can bother you less and less in time 🥲💗

Username: claire12claire12

Date posted: 5w ago

@anonn We got this!

Username: issphra 🫶🏻issphra 🫶🏻

Date posted: 5w ago

I’ve experienced every single one of those, not sure if that brings you any comfort but you’re not alone there. Especially with the 3rd one. - I’ve hyperfocused on the present moment fo the point where I’ll forget my bf exists for like half an hour and when I remember, it feels like this cold shock. My first thought is “oh my god I don’t love him enough, this is a sign of the end of our relationship” (lol, it’s not but it feels real then) - I found that one actor really attractive?? He looks nothing like my bf.. I must not like my boyfriend at all. (Again, silly but it feels so concerning in the moment) - Notices any changes or non perfect attributes (wide fingers, teeth shape, weight gain) or any an occasional bad habit: I can’t possibly love him, I care too much about his ____. (Also silly bc I usually love these traits when my ocd isn’t flaring) - what if he’s being lying to me this whole time and he has another girlfriend or is gay or he’s going to murder me. He’s not who I think he is (maybe this one is more common) Those are some I could think of

Username: anonnanonn

Date posted: 5w ago

@issphra 🫶🏻 I’ve felt all of those as well 🥲 especially the last one, INSANE trust issues….thank you for the input, I totally emphasize and hope you can find some peace of mind 🥹🤍

Username: issphra 🫶🏻issphra 🫶🏻

Date posted: 5w ago

@anonn We can do this 🤍 you’re never alone

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 5w ago

There is comfort to know I am not the only having thoughts like this

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 5w ago

Sometimes I think I am just forcing myself to stay in the relationship and I hyperfocus on this , then I go back to feeling connected to my partner, but then I think am lying to myself it’s torture sometimes

Username: faye1010faye1010

Date posted: 5w ago

@Anonymous I feel this 100%

Username: LiaExe28LiaExe28

Date posted: 5w ago

The second one yes. Same with the third. Currently in that phase. And also the 4th. I feel like I’m not present. I feel like I’m not enjoying his touch or it’s too much. I’m worried I’m not attracted to his body when I’m with him sexually, or even just romantically I’m worrying I don’t find him attractive. Sex is really being grabbed. I had to stop cuz I kept having intrusive thoughts regarding what if I don’t like this? What if I’m gay (soocd overlap) I’ve been comparing lists about romance lately to see if I love him enough and lately I just feel ://// so I don’t feel like romance but then I panic and I feel guilty cuz he’s always so romantic and kind with me and I feel like I don’t love him enough. I worry I’m forcing myself to love him or have sex with him when that’s never been the case. I’ve always wanted to have sex with him and it’s always been consensual. But my brain obsessed over the way I used to think of sex as a “keep him happy” tool but it’s not it’s about connecting and even before we had penetrative sex, we were connecting. That was before this. I feel like a liar anytime I do anything romantic cuz I feel like I’m gonna break up with him any second and I wanna cry and sob. I’ve been googling/reading lesbian subreddits for hours. I’m bi but I’m worried I’m just a straight up lesbian even tho I feel romantic feelings that I enjoy for my bf. But I’m scared it’s comphet. And I’m scared I’ll find out I’m a lesbian after I fix myself up. I just feel anxious thinking about that but not a good anxious a “oh god” anxious which I worry is because I don’t wanna accept it and not cuz I’m not a lesbian. Cuz I’m not. But my brain seems convinced I am. Which impacts my relationship with my bf and wanting a future with him. I can’t picture it which makes me wanna sob more. Idk if it’s a me falling out of love thing/not wanting the future or if it’s an ocd thing. I’m scared but I’d like to spend my life with him. I don’t say love cuz rn idk what I’m feeling. I don’t feel overly excited about the future. Idk what i feel

Username: faye1010faye1010

Date posted: 5w ago

I surely have experienced all of these

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 5w ago

Soooo confusing

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 5w ago

But I know I do love my partner like in my heart

Username: Nocd1997!

Date posted: 23w ago

ROCD

Hi friends! I am someone who struggles with general OCD but have recently come to question if it is more specific to my relationship(s). In my heart, I feel that I am currently in the most loving, fulfilling and safe relationship that I have ever been in but lately things have been rocky. I find myself questioning a lot. Examples being: Is he really the one for me? What if I am missing out on something even better? Am I actually happy or am I lying to myself? Is this relationship doomed/am I doomed to be miserable in the future due to our age difference (met at 25 & 32, currently 27 & 35) I find myself trying to pick him apart more often than not lately, almost as though I am looking for something to fixate on in attempt to reassure myself of some of my already negative thoughts? I’m just curious if anyone out there that struggles with ROCD finds any similarities to the thoughts I am having? Sending love!

Username: BunnyTailz

Date posted: 22w ago

Relationship OCD

Hello, I recently discovered I may have relationship OCD. I haven’t been formally diagnosed yet but I started experiencing thoughts like “I don’t really love him” or “I’m gonna break up with him”, and sometimes even thoughts that he doesn’t love me or he’s gonna leave me. This all started when I got a text from a former partner, and it was very surprising. I thought since it affected me so much that it meant I still loved him and that I didn’t love my current boyfriend. Before this event, I struggled with intrusive thoughts and compulsions but never about relationships and I didn’t think I had OCD. I wasn’t experiencing any of these specific thoughts before I got that text, and it’s really scary and I’m afraid my thoughts are true. I really do love my boyfriend but these thoughts are really making me depressed.

Username: elwoodriley

Date posted: 20w ago

Is this ROCD or no???

Hi everyone, I’ve been struggling with a lot of doubts and anxiety in my relationship, and I’m not sure if it’s normal or if it might be something more like relationship anxiety or ROCD. I’m in a long-distance relationship with someone who is incredibly sweet, caring, and kind. And not to mention this is my first relationship ever. Despite knowing all of this, I often find myself overwhelmed by doubts. I constantly question whether I really love him or if I only like the idea of him. Sometimes, I worry that I’m just staying in the relationship because I don’t want to be single or because he’s the kind of person I’m supposed to be with. These thoughts feel so real, and it’s hard to shake them off, even though I don’t want them. I also tend to find “icks” or small things to criticize, and it feels like my brain is trying to push him away, even though I want to be with him. I feel guilty for having these thoughts, and it makes me overthink whether I’m being honest with myself about wanting the relationship. At times, I rely on external validation, like when people tell us we look cute together. I’m scared I might be too focused on what others think, instead of how I truly feel. I also feel guilty about small things, like not responding in the way I think I should, and I worry whether I’m capable of loving someone else. Sometimes, I feel overwhelmed by how “perfect” he is, and it makes me try to find ways to dislike him, even though I know he’s a good person. I also feel nervous about things like meeting his parents or not fully enjoying his sense of humor, which adds to my overthinking. I want to be with him, but I’m stuck in this cycle of doubt and overanalyzing my feelings. I just want these thoughts and anxieties to go away. Has anyone experienced anything like this? Could this be a sign of relationship anxiety or something more? Any advice or insights would be really appreciated.

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ROCD intrusive thoughts

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