question abt attraction, appreciate explanations

if you notice that something looks attractive, like a butt, doesnt that mean necessarily that you were attracted by it if you noticed? i need to know because of a triggering episode i had two days ago. what does attraction mean? for me i thought that attraction is when attractiveness meets desire and want for it, that pulls towards to it and it matches your ego's wants. but if you notice that attractive something, it stands out and you're taken aback by surprise because it looks attractive, the fact that it made you notice because of its attractiveness means necessarily that you were attracted to it no? even for a short moment... i cannot tolerate that.

issphra 🫶🏻

Date posted: 30w

I have experienced this myself and have had similar questions. I think it is entirely possible to acknowledge that something looks nice or is aesthetically pleasing without it meaning anything deeper. For example, Barbie dolls have a lovely shape—one that I think is stunning—but I am not sexually attracted to a doll. I find my mom’s curves and stomach beautiful because they bring me comfort. In my opinion, they are pretty. I used to worry about having these thoughts, but I eventually realized that appreciating how something looks does not equate to being attracted to it. For instance, my grandma once complimented my little sister’s legs, but that did not mean she was attracted to her. Similarly, when my dad tells me he finds my hands beautiful, it comes from a place of admiration, not attraction. In the same way, I can notice that my sister’s jeans flatter her figure without it meaning anything more. Despite what my OCD might try to convince me, I am not attracted to any of my family members. Recognizing beauty or appreciating how something looks is a completely separate experience from attraction. I know it’s harder to accept when it comes to POCD. I still struggle, but the same thing applies.

ivefailed.

Date posted: 30w

thank you a lot for your insight, made me feel a lot better

ivefailed.

Date posted: 30w

what abt se&ual areas? i was at the mall and im afraid that i was attracted by the bottom of a trigger. i cannot tolerate that, maybe im open at the possibility that it was nothing big but i dont know. i know im not a p***. but still i cannot tolerate that i might have felt attraction. i just pray that i found it attractive and that i didnt feel attraction. I don't think i had positive feelings while i looked at the bottom, like desire for it, it wasn't egosyntonic, like i wasn't fine with it, but i can't help remembering (maybe wrongly bcause of ocd) feeling that i undeniably liked what i saw, because i guess it was objectively a good attractive shape. For me attraction is when attractiveness matches your interest. it didn't match mine. But if you get struck and by surprise you see something attractive that sudden instant reaction of noticing means you're attracted no? it's undeniable that i thought it looked good and attractive though... i was left like i couldn't deny it because it was in front of me, i wasn't able to deny that reaction. but does that mean i was attracted even though i didnt mean to? was it an attraction that was out of my control? i didnt feel desire for it nor i wanted it, but im afraid that i felt an attraction out of my control.

ivefailed.

Date posted: 30w

if you're still comfortable/open to discuss abt this topic , can i copy paste the post of my triggering episode? it goes a lot in detail, so if you think you'll be triggered i'll avoid posting. You can also ignore it if you change idea I understand

lotus22

Date posted: 30w

I think you can notice something looks attractive without being attracted to it. Like personally I can notice when another girl has a pretty body but it doesn’t mean I’m attracted or want it. I can also notice when a guy has nice hands or muscles but It doesn’t mean I’m attracted to him or love my boyfriend any less. I’m still attracted to him regardless of appearance yk?

cman

Date posted: 30w

Maybe. It’s okay if you were attracted to it or if you weren’t regardless of relationship status.

ivefailed.

Date posted: 30w

unfortunately this is abt pocd that's why it is messing my head up

ocdinglehopper

Date posted: 15w

false attraction/impulsibe feelimg

so, my intrusive feelings started over a thought about a guys arms being attractive, and i still think big arks are attractive, but i hate his face? and his personality, so would it still be false attraction? if i like his body but not his face or personality because i have every single false attraction sign, but i just like his arms/body. someone please lmk!!

Shaodidi

Date posted: 13w

What am I doing? Compulsion?

Trigger warning So I can’t stop wondering if I was attracted to this kid I saw a few days ago because I felt something that felt like genuine attraction, it made me worried I was a p, so I tried to leave the place immediately. I also had urges to look to check if I was attracted or not and urges to not to look. All of it made me feel like a genuine P. What is all of this I’m doing, are they compulsions? Or are they pr3detory actions?

POCD

ivefailed.

Date posted: 7w

heavily disgusted by reaction, possible attraction

I was in the car I suddenly noticed someone across the road, and I perceived something that looked attractive and se&ual, like exposed nice legs, and I thought, well let's look, it must be a woman. she wasn't. it was a trigger and i wasnt ready. she was wearing low cut shorts. and the thing is when i noticed how the body was too small i think it still looked someway attractive, my brain perceived that overall look as attractive or se&ual, like it "felt nice" (?) idk. it all happened very fast so i dont know a lot, but I got immediately disturbed as i noticed and perceived such a look. i dont know if i really "felt" as opposed to "perceived". I didnt have desire. I didnt want it. but was i attracted? that's a strong word, but im afraid that the brain still felt something "nice", like the overall look was attractive or nice, as an instant positive reaction <brain: "oh that looks nice"> is that normal? am i a ****phile? i wasnt ready. it was sudden as i checked, it took some time to fully process the information. if i knew from the first thing that it was a trigger as usual, in a slow manner instead of sudden noticing, i wouldn't have felt this much uncertainty and these disturbing unclear reactions, i would thought "this looks se&ual because it is exposed skin but im not attracted to it". all this time i thought that when i noticed certain body parts was because it just looked se&ual and because of ocd, after this im starting to think that i find certain looks attractive and i recognised a similarity. maybe, could it be that my brain took some time to fully process things, and because it wasn't ready it wasn't able to relocate in time what was appropriate and not? like piece of informations didn't have enough time to be fully processed so instead of coming into one clear image it was fragmented, and something attractive slipped through as a separated information from the subject...? im very distressed and depressed because of this. the final nail in the coffin for today; i want to kick the bucket.

POCD

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question abt attraction, appreciate explanations

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