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Hey guys! My boyfriend has said recently that he doesn't know if he's strong enough to continue with our relationship because of my OCD. He wants to see me overcome my symptoms and learn to live a healthy life with OCD, but my anxieties and obsessions are starting to really affect his life. I understand his reasoning, it's hard to see someone you care about struggle with OCD, especially when it starts to affect you too. I'm asking for tips to deal with my compulsions in the relationship. I HAVE to know the answer to things and sometimes that leads into arguments because even with apologies and discussions I can't let things go, even if they genuinely don't matter or are miniscule issues we have. It's a healthy relationship otherwise but I feel horrible because it's impacting him so negatively, that's the absolute last thing I want to happen. I care for him deeply and he cares for me too, so I don't want my OCD to be a reason we break up but I fear it's headed in that direction. I'm starting therapy soon, but until then what are some things I can do to stop my ROCD from impacting him? I know sitting in the guilt and anxiety of not completing my obsessions will help, but I'm wondering if there are other things I can do to maybe remedy some of the damage already done.

As a 20+ year OCD vet and OCD conqueror. I wanted to share some tips and tricks that help me. 1. A thought is not the same as a belief. You can think something, and not believe it in the slightest. 2. Thoughts DO NOT represent ANYTHING. They are not indicators to who we are as people, they are pop up ads for the brains computer. 3. We DO NOT control our thoughts! The average person has about 60,000 ( yes, 4 zeros) a day! NONE of which are controlled. 4. We DO have control over which of those 60k thoughts are important. i.e. thought A. I could murder my entire household- survey says? not important ( because yea, sure, you could, but you probably don't really want to) thought B. i need to do my laundy-survey says? important... unfortunately, i hate laundry. which brings me to number 5. 5. Emotional reasoning ( where you let your feelings impact your decisions) is a COGNITIVE DISTORTION. It is a flawed thought process and should NEVER be used. "wanting to do something" does not mean you SHOULD do it, same and sometimes NOT wanting to do something doesn't mean you shouldn't do it ( picked what is important) my brain might tell me i WANT to break up with my husband, ( unimportant) and it might also say i don't want to get up and go to work in the morning ( important). 6. YOU-ARE-IN-CONTROL. Not to be confused with HAVING control. We don't control our thoughts, we control which ones are important, we don't control our feelings or emotions, but we control how to react (or not react) to them. We don't control our OCD, but we can control how it affects our lives, and that can mean that is has all the power, or none. 7. If the action you want to do ( confess, get reassurance, check, analyze, avoid, re-do) are to gain relief from anxiety, IT IS A COMPULSION. DO NOT DO IT. Sit with the anxiety and train your brain to realize its not dangerous or important with ERP ( this takes time, but practice makes perfect) 8. Know your enemy. NOCD has a HUGE amount of articles and information on ALL subtypes of OCD and how to respond and how to treat them. OCD is MUCH easier to combat when you understand how it works. 9. BE PATIENT. BE KIND to yourself. Prioritize healthy habits, a healthy body is better equipped to handle OCD. Good sleep, whole foods, sunlight, social interaction, exercise ( walking especially). When the mind feels weak, make the body strong. 10. You are not alone. OCD is classified by the World Health Organization as one of the top 10 most distressing disorders. Reach out to people, seek medical help. Medication is not evil, it can be life-saving, TALK to people. Bonus Tips * if the question is " What If" its OCD. * Total certainty does not exist, be content with 99%* *"But this feels different, this feels like its not OCD, that its real*- emotional reasoning... its OCD. Hang in there. You got this. Im here for any advice, questions, or support. Today is a great day to have a GREAT DAY.

Remember thoughts are just thoughts, feelings are just feelings. We generally cannot control our thoughts or feelings, and even groinal responses. No matter how much you want to, they just happen and they 100% happen more when you’re worried about them happening, instead except it. Say “that’s just my silly thoughts again” or whatever it may be, say oh it’s just that silly thing again. Don’t try to work it out, don’t try to ignore it, allow them to come but don’t solve them. Just expect that they’re there . The best advise I was ever told is OCD is like a drunk person, they start to say silly things such as “omg I’m such a silly person” or “Ong you’re so great you’re the strongest person alive” you don’t actually believe what they say because they’re speaking nonsense, but you most likely will reply with “oh yes you’re right” because you’re trying to just please them, but it doesn’t mean you agree with them. You’re just trying to “shut them up” basically. For example if you kept saying “no I’m not” “not that’s not true” “no don’t be silly” the drunk person would carry on saying “no yes you are” etc etc… this is the same with ocd, the more you try to argue with it and say “no this isn’t true” the more it’ll say “yes it is” however if you just say “yes okay you’re right” (even tho it’s not) it’ll start to show ocd that you aren’t picking a fight anymore, you’re just excepting it and it’ll start to get easier. Trust me you aren’t alone in this. Ocd is scary. But you can do this. Some other techniques that have helped me massively is this… When you’re getting these unwanted thoughts etc, name 5 things you can see around you, 2 things you can smell or 2 things you like the smell of, 3 things you can hear and 5 things you can feel, such as touch your hair etc and describe how it feels, etc. this is a way of just distracting yourself. It’s a very good technique for ocd and I went from getting 20 showed a day due to my ocd down to 3 showers a day…. From using this. It works!!! Or take deep breaths that also helps people You aren’t a bad person, you’re just suffering with ocd and that doesn’t make you a bad person