Dealing with a lot. Need support and company.

Every time I feel like I'm doing something major that OCD has held me back from, or even just in a good headspace, something else will happen that sets me back of triggers my anger and hopelessness. This morning I felt so hopeless and didn't want to get out of bed. But I made myself get up, and order some groceries because I hadn't been eating much lately. Having a hard time with food prep and making sure everything is clean enough to use and eat. Anyway I ordered some stuff to have delivered bc I knew the stores would be packed on Sunday morning. I made coffee and started feeling like I could get some things done today I'd been avoiding, and that I could handle things. When I went down to grab the grocery bag that had been delivered, it was on the ground outside my building and it had some red spot on the outside, which is my biggest trigger with contamination right now. It was really discouraging and I got so, so angry. I know that there's not OCD god, and that things happen, and that I don't know what the red mark was, but I also don't know how to not worry that the person delivering it was bleeding or that I could use anything I got without worrying I'm in danger. Ive been desperately trying to find help and a therapist, even switched my insurance to see if it helped but I've had no luck and my life is unraveling right now. If anyone has any advice or encouragement, It would be greatly helpful.

My theme has shifted drastically in the past year. I haven’t used NOCD in a while since i’ve been doing a lot better and thought i’d just check and see how the community is doing. Hope you’re all doing okay 👌🏼. I suffered with SO-OCD for over a year. Thankfully, i’ve somewhat overcome this and it’s nothing but a passing thought in my head After a period of peace I began having obsessions and fears about the end of the world. Specifically asteroid/comets. The sound of a plane, a low rumble, or a loud bang is enough to send me spiralling. I’d jump for my phone to see what the news was saying and even downloaded a flight radar app to check if what i was hearing was a plane or not. Last night i noticed a bright star start flickering and i was convinced i was gonna die. The dreams are relentless. Every night I have nightmares about the same thing and every night I feel absolute horror, coming to terms with death before waking up in a cold sweat. Let me know your thoughts or if anyone else is going through similar things.

Hi all, my ocd has been flaring up lately and I’m not sure why. I think it may be due to stress and anxiety involving school and the hurricanes (I live in Florida) anyways I keep having random intrusive thoughts involving my real event and a lot of false memories are popping up, they feel so real it’s like I can feel everything in them even though I haven’t actually felt them. It’s so weird, like sometimes I will watch a movie and be able to feel the texture of snow or a piece of clothing even though I’ve never felt it before. I have noticed when I get those “phantom” ? touch feelings that they cause a lot of false memory intrusive thoughts. I’ve also been having intrusive thoughts that because no one interacts with my posts on here that everyone hates me and knows about me and thinks I’m horrible and disgusting or that someone is talking about me behind my back and telling people to stay away from me and then I’m a horrible person. I hate OCD so much, I hate that I ruminate constantly on little things and mistakes I’ve made and things I can’t let go. I just hate it so much. Does anyone else struggle with these thoughts or even the “phantom feelings/touches” I’m not sure what to call them sometimes I also get them with certain foods or smells even if I hadn’t had them before or smelt them before. It’s so weird