No one is going to help me

I have OCD, but my parents don’t understand what I’m going through. All I wanted was for someone to be by my side and support me, but they dismiss my struggles, telling me to "just stop thinking" and that I’m making a big deal out of nothing. When I asked for a new therapist because my current one isn’t helping—she isn’t even an OCD specialist—they became angry and didn't believe I need therapy and instead blame me for everything. My father was so mad, he insist to gave me a knife and kill myself. He threatened to isolate me completely, cutting me off from school, the internet, and everything else. My mom cried and shut me down when I tried to explain my pain. They refuse to listen and my dad said it’s all my fault. That day they threw me outside the house for a night, and called me back in telling me to forget everything and forgive them, but I understood that I will not be able to mention anything about my mental health or seeing an OCD specialist ever again, I am completely alone now. With no financial support, and now I don’t know if I’ll ever get the proper therapy I need. I’m only 15, but it feels like I’ll be trapped in this suffering forever, I feel hopeless, I feel like shit, I am going to suffer forever with no support and help.

Username: asyagrand44asyagrand44

Date posted: 4w ago

You are not alone

Username: meadowwwmeadowww

Date posted: 4w ago

Awh I definitely feel for you I hope that you can’t get better and back on track parents can really be the fuckin worst in these situations they always act like they know everything but in reality that is NOT true ~ lots of love to you 🫶🏻💕

Username: Lena1998Lena1998

Date posted: 4w ago

You won't suffer forever. I was in a very similar situation to you when I was a teen. You'll get out of it one day, what's important is that you understand what your OCD is. If you can stay strong and cope with it you can get through it. Maybe your current therapist isn't a specialist, but you can try and work with them and explain your situation with your family. They may still be able to help you manage your thoughts and emotions. Also the NOCD website lists symptoms of OCD, and sometimes just looking at that can help.

Username: JusneJusne

Date posted: 4w ago

@Lena1998 tysm, I didn’t get to reply bcs I was at schl when I posted and at home my parents cute off my internet and device, is around 7 am in my time, I could temporarily sneak in and use my device. Before telling my parents I told my school counselor first hand, but they aren’t very helpful, all they can do is tell my parents, the only resource I have is NOCD plat form, thats why I am very desperate to get to know ppl and talk to eachother to keep me company, I am feeling very lonely everyday, Ik my case is not uncommon and ppl around the world experience this too, but this is new to me, and I never thought my parents would abandon me like this, I am doubting if they actually loved me now, I am now trying to save up money to sign up for nathan peterson’s online course, it seems quite reliable, I will have to work out of this and support myself!!

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 4w ago

We’re on your side

Username: Jesus Is King ☦️❤️Jesus Is Kin...

Date posted: 4w ago

I’m so sorry I don’t understand how you feel I could never understand but I feel for you we are here I will be praying for you any chance you believe in God I want to introduce you to my God you don’t have to believe I just yk will put it out there for you and I will let you to do what you want with that information my God is Jesus Christ and he tells us in the book that he left us “Come to me, all you who are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest” is a verse from the King James Version of the Bible, Matthew 11:28 Psalm 18:6 "In my distress I called upon the LORD; to my God I cried for help. From his temple he heard my voice, and my cry to him reached his ears" and finally Jeremiah 33:3 says, "Call to me and I will answer you, and will tell you great and hidden things that you have not known" always here may this find you well I hope this gives you some comfort

Username: Anonymous

Date posted: 25w ago

(PLEASE READ) feeling helpless

*PLEASE READ* I’ve been struggling with bad harm intrusive thoughts for a couple years now. They’ll go away for a couple of months then get triggered by something and start all over again. As much as I try to tell myself that I would never act on these thoughts I have a memory from when I was little that I was going to hurt my parents in their sleep and that memory has haunted me till now. Of course I didn’t hurt them but I thought it and I feel so guilty about it today that it makes me sick to my stomach. I love my parents so much and would never want to hurt them or anybody. I just want these thoughts to go away because they don’t line up with my values of who I am. But every time I tell myself that my thoughts are not facts that memory pops up making me feel like an awful person. I feel right now as if I don’t deserve any love from anyone because of these thoughts. I’m a believer of God and I feel as if I don’t deserve his love as well and that he has given up on me. These thoughts have also turned into a new theme of being scared I’m actually crazy and going into a psychosis. I’m just so scared and just want to be normal. As much as I tell myself ocd lies to you these thoughts have really scared me and I haven’t felt like myself in days. I’ve also struggled with health anxiety and intrusive suicidal thoughts. I know seeking reassurance isn’t good but I’m so scared.

Username: Anonymous

Date posted: 24w ago

Relapse

I was doing so good, but over the past few months, the OCD has returned with a vengenace. I try to explain what I'm experiencing to my family, but they don't understand. I just need to hear that people get it and know that I can make it out the other end alive and in one piece I've had many themes over the years, but right now, scrupulocity is taking over my life. It takes the normal day-to-day things I do, and twists them into compulsions to feed the insatiable monster that tells me if I don't do enough, be perfect enough, that I'm not a good partner-- not a good person. I'm not working hard because it feels satisfying; I'm doing it because I feel lazy and worthless if I don't. Everything has been taken to an extreme. It's making getting in the way of eating and sleeping. I'm suffering, but I feel like I need to try and pretend that I'm fine (even though I'm terrible at hiding it) because I feel like my husband will think I'm crazy, whiny, and dramatic, and eventually, get tired of it and leave. I'm not asking for reassurance. I just want to not feel so alone.

Username: Danni2314

Date posted: 20w ago

First time posting !! Schizophrenic OCD. Help.

TW. Also long post ahead . I’ve been dealing with OCD for the past 10 years. I’m 32 years old . I didn’t get diagnosed with OCD until this year. I was always diagnosed with GAD, panic disorder, and depression. I don’t have your typical compulsions. Mine are mostly all mental. Reassurance seeking, avoidance , repeating a prayer , etc . I have three main themes . Schizophrenia OCD, sexual orientation OCD, and HIV. Sometimes i deal with harm OCD and POCD but my main big three are the ones I listed first . I feel like the schizophrenic OCD is the most debilitating for me. For the last ten years I’ve been thinking I’m losing my mind . I thought once I got to a certain age the fear would go away but it hasn’t and is in full force . I’m constantly checking my surroundings, what I’m hearing, how I’m acting , questioning if things are real and so on . Now I do have times where this theme doesn’t bother me . It’s put on the back burner . I go through cycles . But when I’m focusing on this theme I feel like I’m hearing stuff . Most of the time I can’t make it out but recently I feel like I’ve been hearing a whisper saying “hey” . It mainly happens at night . It sends me into a complete panic and I feel like “this is it “ I’m seeing an OCD therapist and she recommended me to go to this psychiatric place in town to get meds to help my anxiety from the OCD. My last psychiatrist always pushed the newest medicine and was constantly changing up my regimen. I thought I would give it a try. WORST IDEA EVER . Keep in mind my therapist gave me a letter to give to her explaining I have been diagnosed with OCD and explaining it . She doesn't think I have OCD at all. She wanted to put me on an antipsychotic so me with my OCD brain . I asked her if she thought I was psychotic . She said I was nearing psychosis . She called me interesting . She feels like I have major depressive disorder . I'm just at a loss for words. It was honestly the strangest meeting I have had with a psychiatrist. It was very unprofessional. She has no idea the damage she has done nor do I think she cares. I just don't know what to Believe in anymore ... We met for approximately 45 minutes . First time ever meeting. I just want to cry and I’m freaking out 😢

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