Viewing OCD as a stepping stone

Hey everyone! So I recently just hit my 6 month status as an OCD conqueror (yay!) and wanted to share some thoughts. As early as I can remember, I had crippling anxiety as a kid. But I grew up in a “traditional” family where we didn’t talk about our feelings. I internalized all of my fear and it wasn’t until I was about 10 when I started to notice the negative side effects of this. I was angry, mean, and deceitful. I never learned, or rather was never taught, how to deal with all those emotions. Fast forward to 2 years ago I went through some major life changes and I was left completely disregulated (still never received any sort of mental health support). I started having intrusive thoughts and couldn’t seem to escape from them. The more I tried the worse they got. Now having been through treatment with NOCD (and regular therapy + meds), I am a completely different person. I reconnected with my child self and finally mourned the losses I buried away for the past 20+ years. I am free to grow and thrive as a self-actualized, healed adult. The possibilities are now endless. That is the gift mental health support has given me. Looking back on my OCD journey, I no longer think of it as a chronic illness, but rather as a stepping stone towards achieving a higher knowledge of self. I learned so much about my mind and how I engage in that relationship between mind & self. I do think they are separate entities, yet deeply intertwined. That mind sound a bit lofty, but it’s been deeply comforting to me. But I also think this sort of perspective can held you step back from the OCD experience which is just a small subset of who you are. There will come a time when you are free from the seemingly endless cycle of intrusive thoughts and be able to look at the experience from a completely different lens. There is light at the end of the tunnel, never give up on yourself or your freedom!!!

ABC’43

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 29w

Congratulations!

Brenna - NOC...

User type: Staff

Date posted: 28w

Love how you talked about OCD just being a small part of who you are! We're all so much more than our OCD. Congratulations on this HUGE milestone in your OCD recovery journey -- keep up all the hard work!

nataliamiller16

Date posted: 29w

i have a question if u dont mind answering, how did u conquer when ur mind would twist a scenario totally differently than the way it happened?

Sean5754

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 29w

@nataliamiller16 I personally think the key is to let it happen, acknowledge it happened, and to not judge yourself for it happening. My therapist and I came up with like 3 or so different phrases to help facilitate this type of thinking (I.e., “it’s just a thought”, “I am not my thoughts”, “I won’t let this intrusive thought ruin my day”, etc. Normalization is key. And by that I don’t mean you have to agree with the thought (OCD being ego-dystonic) but just trying to accept that it happened and be okay with that. Then move on. Whenever I have an intrusive thought come in, I now tell myself “okay this happened/it’s there, and that’s OKAY!” Always remember that you are not your thoughts! OCD will twist and distort everything it feeds on, but adapting this strategy will apply to everything OCD throws at you. You got this!!

nataliamiller16

Date posted: 29w

@Sean5754 tysm! this rlly helped

Sean5754

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 29w

@nataliamiller16 I’m so glad!! You’re very welcome

Hope13

Date posted: 29w

🥳 congratulations, Would you mind elaborating a bit on what you mean as viewing ocd as a stepping stone ?

Sean5754

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 29w

@Hope13 Sure thing and thank you! When I started ERP, I didn’t realize how it could and eventually would change my entire outlook on mental health. I thought ERP would only help with my OCD but I’ve found that it has really helped me understand my own mind on a much more intimate level. I used to hate being alone and having down time because I didn’t really have a relationship with myself. But going through ERP and even just the experience of OCD, for me, completely changed that. And now that I’m on the other side of things, I’m very grateful for the insights the experience gave me. I enjoy alone time for the first time ever, I’m more aware of emotional dysregulation, I can anticipate my own needs, etc. So for me, I don’t think I would have ever/or as quickly achieved this deeper understanding of myself without my struggles with OCD. I truly do view it as a blessing in disguise. I know that probably sounds crazy, as it would have to me during ERP treatment, but I’m grateful to be where I am in my journey. So I like to think of OCD as a single chapter in the grand adventure of my life. I think everyone can achieve peace with their OCD.

Hope13

Date posted: 29w

@Sean5754 Thank you so much

Anonymous

Date posted: 29w

I know this may be out of context but, how did you know you were gay? I hope you do not find offense at that, but dealing with SO-OCD is hell, and I need an outside perspective. And congratulations on beating OCD, I hope to reach that stage as well.

Sean5754

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 29w

@Anonymous No worries! I basically realized I had no sexual attraction to women and didn’t see myself in love with a “wife” down the road but was attracted physically to guys. Hope that helps!

Anonymous

Date posted: 29w

@Sean5754 Mine was the complete opposite of yours. Interesting, I have had physical attraction to a woman and have always wanted to marry a woman.

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