Please help I think I cheated cuz I let this girl I found pretty graze me at Starbucks she was just walking by and now I’m scared I wanted the touch to be sexual or that just her grazing me even was sexual HELP
You didn't cheat. People graze each other all the time in crowded public areas. And thinking someone else is pretty is normal.
@Anonymous But I planned it and deliberately didn’t move out of the way cuz I wanted to be grazed by her
@Giselleeee I didn’t want anything else just the graze
@Giselleeee I’m scared that wanting the graze means I wanted her to touch me sexual, that me wanting herto graze me was to fulfill sexual desires
@Giselleeee Oh, well ask yourself. Was it for sexual desire or did you just want to feel someone's touch.
@Anonymous I’m pretty sure sexual desire 🥺
@Giselleeee It’s just I wasn’t aware of the fact that it could be looked at like that, I just knew I wanted to experience being grazed by her. Like the fact that I wanted to be grazed by her for sexual desire only appeared in hindsight after more reflection…I’m not sure I fully realized it in the moment
@Giselleeee So you and this person both looked at each other?
@Anonymous No she was just walking by trying to get through
Oh, so you acted on instinct or what you're intrusive thought was in that moment
@Anonymous Exactly
@Giselleeee Does your partner know that you did this?
@Anonymous Yes I told him. He said it’s fine
@Giselleeee Oh ok, I would suggest we try not to act on those intrusive thoughts in the future and instead let them be thoughts and try to distract yourself so you don't let those intrusive thoughts become intrusive actions.
@Anonymous Have you had intrusive thoughts like this or others, frequently?
@Anonymous No like I don’t know how to explain it. I am so scared of cheating and losing my partner. But I have these moments like this where I think I did cheat or didn’t care in the moment and still wanted to cheat
@Giselleeee Well do you know the difference between what's cheating and not cheating? Like could you say if I do this its cheating or I did this but that's not cheating? Because there is a line between cheating and not cheating. And I think if you have a therapist you should ask them about what falls on what side of the line and what doesn't.
@Anonymous When you say you don't care and wanted to cheat was it you who wanted to cheat or were you being tempted to cheat by something or someone?
@Anonymous Me who Wanted to cheat. And by cheat I mean smile at a stranger, be bumped into or grazed by somone, etc. not overt actions
@Giselleeee Smiling at people isn't cheating, we were put on this earth to love each other and bring happiness to others. Smiling at someone just makes their day. You bumping into someone is just wanting physical touch is what it sounds like to me. I don't want to assume anything but do you get hugs from people or physical touch from people frequently.
@Anonymous Talk with your partner about these feelings of concerns because I sure he will be more than happy to help you through these thoughts and feelings.
A girl that I know that lives in my neighborhood just snapped me and it was “watch Marlee show off her garden or something” and I was worried enough to just open the snap bc I’m scared of interacting with other girls bf my ocd. The snap was just of her friend playing a garden game and then it switched to a coloring one but I genuinely just skipped over the whole video, it was 10 snaps long. Also the girl that sent me that, her name on snap has had a “😘” and even after changing it today it still shows the ____😘 on her public profile but I never changed her name on my snap and I feel bad bc I have a gf. I hate when people add the stupid hearts and stuff for their names on snap. I’m not going to respond to this snap. Also my brain is telling me I’m a cheater bc I never took out the emoji from her name beforehand. I genuinely never thought about the name until today, it’s been like that forever and I don’t think I ever paid much attention to it until now when my OCD is attaching to it. It’s also attaching to the part where a couple weeks ago her and her friends were giving out cookies to people and they texted me if I wanted one, they were down to their last cookie, so I was like sure and they were in their car just out of my driveway in the street and I got a cookie from them. Even then I felt terrible for getting a cookie from them bc of just interacting with other girls. But now I’m like why did I never realize the name had the 😘 emoji with it and I’m spiraling. It’s also attaching to the part where a couple weeks ago her and her friends were giving out cookies to people and they texted me if I wanted one, they were down to their last cookie, so I was like sure and they were in their car just out of my driveway in the street and I got a cookie from them. Even then I felt terrible for getting a cookie from them bc of just interacting with other girls. But now I’m like why did I never realize the name had the 😘 emoji with it and I’m spiraling. Also she texted me June 20 asking about if I had a bbl which was weird and so I responded to her then bc I was like wtf. But now I’m like why did I never realize her name had that emoji in it and I’m stressing. I really don’t enjoy talking to her and I’m not attracted to her at all and barely actually talk with her, and if I do I’m not flirting with her bc I love my girlfriend and don’t care about other girls I do remember that it wasn’t that girl that texted me about the cookie, it was one of my friends gfs. I was also worried about that bc I didn’t want to text my friends gf bc I thought it would be weird but it was only about the cookie
I remember another thing from the past where it was a sexual thought and I don’t remember if I was talking to or dating my gf at the time but it was like “if I was talking to someone else like _____ I’d be able to have sex already” and I feel terrible bc I don’t want sex. I would rather be with my girlfriend than any other girl. Idk if the thought was intrusive or not. I think the people or person I was thinking of may have been intrusive. I’m just terrified bc I really love my gf and don’t care about sex
Kinda spiraling. In one of my classes there was a girl that was a senior and I was a junior. We got put in a table group of 4 next to eachother for a unit with my friend also there and some girl that I knew from orchestra. I’m now scared if I was too close to her like physically. I never touched her obviously bc that’s weird. I think I was talking to my now gf at the time or maybe even dating her I’m not sure. There was this time we had to play quiziz on our Chromebooks and we got randomly selected in a group together with me her and one of my other guy friends. I’m worried that what if we were too close physically, what if my arm was touching hers or something. I know that my friend Jack was in the middle so he needed to see the screen and I also wouldn’t have went super close to her. I’m writing this bc I’m just super worried. I never talked to her outside of that class and really outside of that unit when everyone moved tables again. Whenever our teacher did demonstrations I feel like I looked at her too much and now I’m scared, even though I just look around but I feel like my eyes went to her. I would never cheat on my gf so this whole situation is bothering me. I also one time just curiously checked if she followed me on insta and we didn’t have eachother added and I saw her bf on her profile and I was like “aww that’s cute”. What if I was acting on attraction in the classroom, I’m scared
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond
