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- 5y
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- 5y
You cannot change what or who you are attracted to, that is the fundamental make up of who you are as a human being, you cannot just switch it off...... there is nothing wrong in finding someone attractive even if they are the opposite sex, it doesn't mean you will have a relationship with them or that you are gay....as we go through our lives we experience many different emotions....it's part of who we are as human beings.... don't be so hard on yourself.
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- 5y
Maybe now you are at a point we're it's time to fight back....
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- 5y
I know, but it feels like I have no power sometimes
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- 5y
Why don't you write a list, of all the things you wish for if you didn't suffer OCD, and another list containing all the things OCD stops you from doing....and then work towards removing just one compulsion or reassurance behavior a week, gradually retraining your brain not to react
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- 5y
Thank you
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- 5y
Wouldn't...not would . Predictive text
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- 5y
Thanks so much. It feels better when you have someone to talk to. Even if hocd is still there. What type of ocd do u have?
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- 5y
Thanks you too
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- 5y
Me too
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- 5y
Your welcome...
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- 5y
Me too. I so afraid that i'll find out that ive been lyibg to myself thr whole time. Ik it's not true deep deep down. But i dont believe it. Im accepting/open towards lgbt but thats not the life i want to live. I have always wanted a husband. Always found girls attractive, sexy etc but never in a I want a relationship. Now HOCD is reversing everything to my being apart of that community. Idk what to believe anymore. I'd rather be alone for the rest of my life than be in a relationship with a woman. I just cant do it, and i'm sad and scared that i'll have to accept that I am gay and have to be with girls or that i am gay and going to be alone. I just dont know anymore..... ok rant over. Sorry guys
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- 5y
@goyateI Thanks, it's just so hard trying to be normal. But feling like im hiding somethi g (sexuakity). Always reminding myself it's ok to find people of the same sex attractice. But how is that possible w/o being lgbt. I cant even sit or dress w/o analyzing myself for gayness sometimes.
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- 5y
I don't know your age....but if you are a teenager who experience many emotions throughout our years, it's all part of life.....enjoy the journey you will only make this journey once....what is normal....no one is "normal"....you are you, just as I am me.... don't be so hard on yourself friend
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- 5y
Oh and it's perfectly normal to find some attractive from the same sex....it doesn't mean you are gay or anything else....it's just a feeling that you are experiencing....when I was younger I had a lot of gay friends and some were very attractive....but they were friends only...
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Thanks im 23 never dated anyone almost did but it didnt work out. so i thInk thats part of it too
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- 5y
You are still young and learning about yourself.....many things don't work out in life, that's because something better will enter your life one day...
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- 5y
True but it's so frustrating always questioning mysrlf when Ive always dreamt about having a husband etc. Now the whole thing seems like one big lie but its not a lie if you know what i mean. Is it really hocd ir am i just really deep in denial... so idk
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- 5y
Enjoy learning about yourself....it's surprising what comes into our lives when we stop searching...
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- 5y
It's great that you have dreams and aspirations.... don't be so hard on yourself....you should always learn to walk first before trying to run......if you were gay you wouldn't question it and you would want a husband ..... life is a marathon not a Sprint....you have many wonderful things to experience as each year passes...
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- 5y
Your welcome....I have the OCD that likes things to be straight and neat and tidy....so sometimes I turn a picture on the wall off centre and sit and look at it until my anxiety drops....hey you can always message on here if your struggling.... don't think your alone....sharing a problem helps see it from a different angle....have a good day
Related posts
- Date posted
- 15w
Have any other experienced mentally going through your past, and finding proof that you once looked at that masculine woman and thought she looked good or something, and now that is a total trigger for you. I mean, i have always been romantacally and saxual into men, and never have i ever wanted to be in a sexual relationship with a girl, that thought is really distressing to me, and actually makes me so sad. But these mentally reviewings has me finding episodes where i have looked at a masculine woman, and found her pretty, attractive or something. But they all looked like men .. and again, i could never see myself being sexual or haven a romantically relationsship with a woman, even thought she look like a man .. Have any other in here find themself in this endless tourturing loop, where you find proof of things … I mean, i have one thousands proofs that im into men, i have been in a relationship for 8 years new, but still these other pictures make me doubt everything about myself, and i am really sad .. Please tell me, that anyone else in here have experienced this, and know that it is normal for HOCD ..
- Date posted
- 14w
My favourite animal is me when i cry because its possible to be gay and have hocd. Im so tired.i know im just 14.i know. Im simply like men.i know I shouldn’t think about this,but my ocd keep telling me that im not,because i have no experience.I don’t like or want women.i dont.i dont want it to happen.im not homophobic.i try to accept it because im afraid to not be honest with myself,but the pain is more and more. Im afraid that i wont love a man in future,and that i will love a women with no control..i hate that im just a silly teen that isnt “enough to know what i want”. I hate when people say im just young.i hate when my ocd say im just shame to be gay and im still homophobic because of my country(im a lgptq supporter and atheist for a year)i hate reading some people experience with hocd and they was really gay,i hate when my ocd tell me that when i travel to an open country to lgptq im gonne love women,i hate that it seems so true,i hate when i dont know whats ocd and whats not,but all i hope,that i heal from ocd..and still being straight..my peaceful dream..
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- 14w
hi guys i added to list. i’m freaking out i just need some help. signs of comphet (comphet is when lesbians who don’t know it and just follow norms and believe there straight) ive felt: “I never felt anything when kissing boys and totally thought that was normal… I talk to men, go on dates, but I think it’s to keep my life ‘interesting’ and have something to talk about with friends.” • lack of deep, natural emotional connection • • talking about my boyfriend to other people made me feel “cool”, “worthy”, “interesting” and felt like a way to prove myself • being able to clearly articulate all the reasons I liked a guy crush/my boyfriend (he’s smart, funny, kind, handsome, etc) whereas with a girl crush I can’t exactly put my finger on why I like them but I’m just naturally drawn to them • never missing my exes or feeling heartbroken about them (i would feel sad from being lonely and no longer having that daily routine of having someone to talk to, but didn’t necessarily miss that specific person) • i was always very hesitant about “becoming official” with a guy i would be seeing and would make him wait before deciding to date because i “didn’t know if i really liked him or not” only being aroused by their the man’s desire for me • Thinking I was cooler than other girls because I didn't spend any time thinking about how cute boys were or being "boy-crazy". I was under the impression for a while that I must just be less shallow than other people because I didn't really take looks into account when I had a crush on a boy, I only factored in their personality. chasing the ego boost more than emotional closeness agreed with friends or mom about someone being attractive even if you didn’t feel it—another big flag being bored, ditching serious commitment, chasing the drama again it also feels like i’m acting a lot of the time to make it more romantic cause i cringe When you fantasize about men, it is mostly just enacting a kind of narrative. More focused on movement than features- the men in your fantasies might be faceless or blank-featured or their bodies might symbolize some emotion. you might not even be in the in the fantasy, but instead another faceless woman might be. You might even imagine yourself as the man. The narrative follows the sexual script, but the details are more vague and abstract and might even shift and change throughout the fantasy. i dont care about like what guys looks like. like my sister saw a video of a guy working out and was like got damn omg gotta like that. if i saw that i would prob be like damn to try and prove something to myself but i don’t really understand what i should feel it feels like i relate to so much comphet after i read it on reddit and it doesn’t even make me want to cry and die anymore. it feels like i tolerate men or have done it for attention or because i thought it was going to happen at some point cause it was what was happening around me like sister and friends. i’m scared ill never find someone i want to marry that’s a man it feels like it’s all just comphet and i don’t want to actually be with a man the more my meds work and anxiety lessens the more the fear feels real because i can’t get myself anxious about it anymore. i can about other stuff but not this. i always told myself i don’t chase i attract. maybe thats cause i never wanted a big badly enough. maybe what im missing is a girl what if that ends up feeling more real Straight people don’t need to talk themselves into what’s hot. like during the hocd break i would try and like see what was “hot” and and be like yeah that’s hot. i also i refused to masturbate to women and not think about it because i didn’t want it to prove that i still liked it but i mean idk if that was left over hocd
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