- Username
- cnv
- Date posted
- 5y ago
You cannot change what or who you are attracted to, that is the fundamental make up of who you are as a human being, you cannot just switch it off...... there is nothing wrong in finding someone attractive even if they are the opposite sex, it doesn't mean you will have a relationship with them or that you are gay....as we go through our lives we experience many different emotions....it's part of who we are as human beings.... don't be so hard on yourself.
Maybe now you are at a point we're it's time to fight back....
I know, but it feels like I have no power sometimes
Why don't you write a list, of all the things you wish for if you didn't suffer OCD, and another list containing all the things OCD stops you from doing....and then work towards removing just one compulsion or reassurance behavior a week, gradually retraining your brain not to react
Thank you
Wouldn't...not would . Predictive text
Thanks so much. It feels better when you have someone to talk to. Even if hocd is still there. What type of ocd do u have?
Thanks you too
Me too
Your welcome...
Me too. I so afraid that i'll find out that ive been lyibg to myself thr whole time. Ik it's not true deep deep down. But i dont believe it. Im accepting/open towards lgbt but thats not the life i want to live. I have always wanted a husband. Always found girls attractive, sexy etc but never in a I want a relationship. Now HOCD is reversing everything to my being apart of that community. Idk what to believe anymore. I'd rather be alone for the rest of my life than be in a relationship with a woman. I just cant do it, and i'm sad and scared that i'll have to accept that I am gay and have to be with girls or that i am gay and going to be alone. I just dont know anymore..... ok rant over. Sorry guys
@goyateI Thanks, it's just so hard trying to be normal. But feling like im hiding somethi g (sexuakity). Always reminding myself it's ok to find people of the same sex attractice. But how is that possible w/o being lgbt. I cant even sit or dress w/o analyzing myself for gayness sometimes.
I don't know your age....but if you are a teenager who experience many emotions throughout our years, it's all part of life.....enjoy the journey you will only make this journey once....what is normal....no one is "normal"....you are you, just as I am me.... don't be so hard on yourself friend
Oh and it's perfectly normal to find some attractive from the same sex....it doesn't mean you are gay or anything else....it's just a feeling that you are experiencing....when I was younger I had a lot of gay friends and some were very attractive....but they were friends only...
Thanks im 23 never dated anyone almost did but it didnt work out. so i thInk thats part of it too
You are still young and learning about yourself.....many things don't work out in life, that's because something better will enter your life one day...
True but it's so frustrating always questioning mysrlf when Ive always dreamt about having a husband etc. Now the whole thing seems like one big lie but its not a lie if you know what i mean. Is it really hocd ir am i just really deep in denial... so idk
Enjoy learning about yourself....it's surprising what comes into our lives when we stop searching...
It's great that you have dreams and aspirations.... don't be so hard on yourself....you should always learn to walk first before trying to run......if you were gay you wouldn't question it and you would want a husband ..... life is a marathon not a Sprint....you have many wonderful things to experience as each year passes...
Your welcome....I have the OCD that likes things to be straight and neat and tidy....so sometimes I turn a picture on the wall off centre and sit and look at it until my anxiety drops....hey you can always message on here if your struggling.... don't think your alone....sharing a problem helps see it from a different angle....have a good day
Okay so I have been struggling with HOCD for so fucking long. I never felt like I had crushes on boys growing up but I wasn’t attracted to girls either (this was through 5th grade). Until 6th grade hit. I remember it like it was yesterday. I had the thought walking up the stairs and it was “You’re lesbian.” And ever since that thought was there and I fought it I have been dealing with all types of OCD ever since (been going on for 7 years). And only this year I found it was OCD. But it’s hard because I don’t know if I’m actually gay or I convinced myself I’m gay because I gave up and gave in. Now whenever I see I pretty girl I feel tingling. And I wanted to prove to myself that I wasn’t a lesbian so I look up pretty pictures of girls with their boobs out and I loved it. And I wanna make out with a girl so intensely. But then at the same I don’t wanna be in a relationship with a girl and I wanna marry a guy and I just desperately wanted to be like by a guy. But I get so horny whenever girls are in bikinis and stuff. But I have OCD and I’m so confused.
Anyone struggling with hocd going through this: growing up (18 now) I've never had a boyfriend or even my first kiss. I'm super awkward with that type of stuff for some reason and just don't know why. So any opportunity of having a serious boyfriend I was always uncomfortable and said no. That also had to do with me not liking my body and thinking that a guy would find it super ugly and unlovable. So with that being said I'm afraid I'm a lesbian or bi and like I don't find boys attractive anymore. I'm scared cause I want to be with a guy but I'm afraid I'll never find a guy I want to be with and find out in the long run I'm a lesbian or something. I don't want to be with girls but ocd is kicking me in my ass. Telling me that only girls are attractive, picking apart anything I find attractive on a guy and it makes me sad. Also sorry for the tmi but I'm afraid I won't find a penis attractive and that's that and I'm lesbian. I know I have to accept the unknown but I'm truly terrified cause of my past that it is set that I'm bi or lesbian and just was too stupid to know it.
So my hocd started over 2 years ago (I’m 20 yrs old now), when I was having a conversation with one of my friends and the thought popped into the back of my head what if the reason I don’t have a crush on any guys at my high school is because I’m a lesbian. Since then my sexuality has been on my mind 24/7 I didn’t know this was ocd until about a year ago but i’m only seeking treatment now. The hocd ramped up when I felt super aroused watching a movie with topless women, something that had never happened when watching men. Thing is I genuinely think I’m gay now, I’ve had this for so long that at first the thoughts disgusted me and caused me anxiety but now they don’t anymore. I saw so many tiktok videos about “pipelines” of certain interests gay people have that triggered me and read the comphet masterdoc which made me cry when I read it because I related to so much of it. When I was a child I was never boy crazy, I never really crushed on boys in my class (to be fair there were only 7) however I do remember writing a love note to a boy in first grade and having an immense celebrity crush on a disney channel star. I remember to certain things I did as a child that lead me to think I am gay and they keep replaying over and over in my head. Thing is over the past year I’ve had crushes on 3 guys I’ve met through dating apps. The last one I actually hung out with and I had my first kiss/makeout session 2 months ago. After that my hocd calmed down I enjoyed kissing him it felt euphoric the whole drive home just replaying our dates in my head. But now I can’t get the thought out of my head what if I didn’t like it enough? I didn’t get butterflies when we kissed (i do when I think back about it though) and didnt feel super aroused like that time I watched that movie. I feel nothing when I look at pictures and videos of men but with women I started getting this warm feeling in my chest which stressed me out even more. Idk what I am anymore and it is driving me insane. Does anyone relate?
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