please help 🙁

For about a week I have been getting thoughts that what if i am actually a lesbian and not straight. I am in a hetero relationship with the man i ways dreamed off but I have never had any sexual interaction with the same sex. But recently I have had this voice saying and wondering what if you are actually a lesbian and faking or if my partner if doing something the phrase “would a girl do it better” pops up. I have been intimate with my partner and i didn’t finish and then i started worry and thoughts were going through my brain being like it would be better with a girl and now im really obssessing over that although i have no intentions of being with a woman that way does this make any sense 😭 could this be ocd? i had this happening about a year ago but it was obsessing over my relationship and telling me to break up with my partner but I just want to be sure its ocd

djflorio

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 27w

Try not to worry about whether or not it's OCD. At the end of the day these are just thoughts. OCD isn't necessary about the content of the thoughts, it's about our reaction to them. You're experiencing thoughts that are distressing to you, so you're compulsively trying to "figure them out," or get rid of them. That's it. There's nothing else to figure out. The reality is that thoughts are just thoughts. The brain pumps out thousands of them every day with no conscious control, and we "tune in" to the ones that we care about, almost like tuning into a radio station. The repetitive thoughts about your relationship mean nothing about whether you do or don't like your partner, regardless of what they are saying. They only keep coming back because you're paying so much attention to them by trying to figure out what they mean about you. The thoughts aren't the problem, the problem is the desire for 100% certainty, and the fear of feeling anxiety. The best thing you can do for yourself is learn to not compulsively react to these thoughts, because that's what really keeps the cycle going. ERP therapy, mindfulness, and meditation are all helpful here. I wish you all the best ❤️

andra444

Date posted: 27w

@djflorio thank you very much for your reply i will try to not pay any thought to it and just let it be, ik it goes away after a while so hopefully this will be quick

djflorio

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 27w

@andra444 I know it's a lot easier said than done. If you find yourself getting lost in the thoughts, be gentle with yourself. Just note that you are having the thoughts, and then try to bring your attention to something in the present moment. I would also note that you don't necessarily want to "ignore" the thoughts, or purposefully try not to think them, because this feeds the Ironic Process, which frustratingly brings them up more often. It's more about accepting that the thoughts are there, acknowledging them, and then not latching onto them. This all takes practice, but you can do it!

jo70

Date posted: 27w

Last month was rough for me too. I’m no therapist but from what I’ve read from your post, yes this sounds like OCD. Especially because to me it sounds like you’re so scared of faking it. Today, I’m feeling better and it’s because I’ve tried something (Edit: I tried not engaging in compulsions and accepting some uncertainty while agreeing to get help from therapy with those concerns in the future). Instead of trying to “figure it out” just sit with the feelings you get from it. If you enjoyed it, you wouldn’t be feeling so scared now would you? And you wouldn’t have made this post freaking out. And yes, this is a form of reassurance seeking. All a part of OCD’s game. Just sit with those feelings and don’t engage. If you have to, set a 10 minute worry period. That has helped me with rumination. But importantly, try to get therapy. They will be able to help you with your situation far than I can. I challenge you to acknowledge the thoughts but do NOT engage. No reassurance, no “figuring it out”, no talking back. It will be hard especially if you’re so used to doing rituals. But it eventually goes away. May it come back? Sure. Maybe it brings a new theme? It could. But I’ve realized that if I’m right, OCD comes and goes. Sometimes it hits you like a truck. Sorry if this was long, I’m just trying to help someone else out! This may give you some relief, but after this, no matter how bad it gets do NOT seek reassurance. It’s sort of like a face your fear, without engaging. Of course I’m not a therapist but this is my thoughts, a therapist will know exactly what to do! Be happy with your boyfriend okay? 😊 OCD has NO power over you! 💛

andra444

Date posted: 27w

@jo70 thank you so much i will try not to, i hope you feel better and gets easier <3

Elliesmith

Date posted: 22w

Is this ocd

So my whole life I’ve been heterosexual. I have got hocd so I worry I’m a lesbian when I have no reason to worry about it because im straight ( not that my ocd likes to think that tho lol! ). But there’s this thought I have, How do I know I’m 100% straight if I haven’t tried sleeping with a girl? Bear in mind I’ve NEVER WANTED TO and DONT want too. Hence why it is an INTRUSIVE thought. But the thought is so uncomfortable- I can’t seem to shift it. But i do see that THIS IS OCD & wanting to know for certain. Thats the definition of OCD. I do know that but it’s tough with the stupid doubts!!! Do you guys just live with the unknown / uncertainty. I’m so happy and love my boyfriend and only want to be with him etc. Let me say again, I DONT want to sleep with a girl nor have I ever fantasized about it. But why does ocd want 100% certainty.. I just wanna not have that weird niggling thought.

vaiiolyn

Date posted: 19w

Lesbian with Sexual Orientation OCD

I need too know that I'm not insane, really. I am 16 and for the past two weeks, this has been completely ruining my health and happiness. I only recently came out as a lesbian like 3 months ago after a lot of confusion about my attraction since I used to think I liked men. At first, I felt so sure that I liked women, but lately, I've been having these unwanted thoughts about the possibility of liking men. I never used to feel this way, but now, every time I look at a man, my brain obsessively fixates on it. It forces me to imagine kissing him, loving him, things I don’t want, and then tries to convince me that I do. It’s painful. The thought of this fills me with fear and anxiety, leading to panic attacks and breakdowns. I don’t want these thoughts. I hate them with every fiber of my being, but I’m terrified that one day I’ll act on them and somehow like it. I used to think I liked men, but back then, I was in a very unhealthy space in a time of escapism and something deeply parasocial. I’ve only ever liked the attention and validation a man could give me, but these experiences are somehow treated as further proof that I’m "bisexual." I’ve never been in a real relationship with anyone, which makes my brain constantly challenge me—telling me, “You don’t even know what love feels like.” It won’t shut up. It keeps obsessively trying to make me prove that I’m a lesbian, testing my reactions and questioning my certainty. Is this normal?

Masc4lesb

Date posted: 17w

LESBIAN DEALING WITH SO OCD

I am a 18 year old masc lesbian with a loving girlfriend for 1 year, and I have been lesbian for almost my whole life and I have never been attracted to men in any way. flash to my past, My ex girlfriend who used to identify as a lesbian had cheated on me with a man. Recently I saw this tiktok of this masc lesbian turn straight and my friends and girlfriend made jokes I am going to turn straight for my male best friend. My male best friend came over and he’s a great guy but I do not want him in any way. when him and i were hanging out my mind threw in a thought it was “What if i like him”, i came back home and i had the worst panic attack and i felt so sick, i cried and i cried. ever since that day I have been struggling with intrusive thoughts, i don’t want a man in any way, and i feel comfortable as a lesbian but these thoughts won’t stop and they become worse when i see people say being lesbian is a phase or that i haven’t met the right guy or i’ll change in the future. i just want these thoughts to stop, i don’t want to stop being a lesbian ever, i love women so much and i just want all of this to be over with. i do not want a man in any way and im tired of my thoughts doubting myself and i hate the “what ifs”, I just want to be my old self, I want to be happy with my girlfriend.

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond

please help 🙁

Related posts

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Be a part of the largest OCD Community