- Date posted
- 26w
Being late in life / I’m behind
I am recently 30 and just went through a very painful breakup after a pregnancy loss. I am horribly obsessing over the fact that my chance of having a family is over. I think about how long it’ll take me to heal, meet someone, have a relationship, and then start a family… I think I’ll be too old. I already feel too old. I think about how my chance of the only thing I’ve ever truly wanted is completely gone. What if the lost pregnancy was a sign that I’ll never have kids. What if I will never be able to feel the same way. All of the firsts are gone. I’ll never experience those things again. What if my future partner resents me for having those firsts already. All of my friends have kids and I already feel like I’m behind. I feel guilty that my grandmother won’t get to see her grandkid have a family, I feel guilty that if I do have kids in the future that I’ll end up being an old mom and not be able to keep up. I couldn’t tell you the last time I wasn’t thinking about how I’m failing everyone bc of the relationship that ended. I lost a huge part of me and that ended my relationship so what if I have another loss and end up with another partner that can’t look at me the same. Is there anyone that can help me see light after going through all of this? Positive words from moms that had kids after 30? I don’t know.