So whenever I think of this one guy doing sexual things to me, I literally get a warmth feeling and lubrication down there. But when I think of my boyfriend in that way, I donāt get the same response down there. Whatās wrong with me? I feel like Iām gonna act on these thoughts and that I want them to happen.
Thoughts are not actions. Itās okay to have thoughts. Thoughts also donāt define us.
It feels like a genuine desire and I beat myself up over it because I feel like I want to engage in sexual stuff with this guy and that he would be better at it than my boyfriend.
How long have you been with your boyfriend and how is the relationship going right now?
Iāve been with him for 9 months and itās a healthy relationship and we always get along but my mind automatically makes me think of this guy and not my boyfriend. It feels like I enjoy it and want it.
@KitKat02 Before you start having sexual feelings for this other guy, did you have any doubts about your current boyfriend?
@Jax.Saw.The light - The only doubt that I have is āI think my bf isnāt attractive anymoreā and my mind also tells me that anything sexual would be better with this guy. And that I find the guy more attractive than my bf which makes me feel really guilty and ashamed because I donāt want to think that at all.
Also, another question would be are these thoughts about this guy only sexual or is there an emotional attachment?
Theyāre only sexual
If these thoughts are purely sexual itās very possible that your OCD brain is just looping with that thought and your body is reacting. I know thatās not gonna help you with your guilt, but maybe looking at it from a psychological point of view it might make it smaller . Also distracting herself with another thought when you start having that fantasy might help train your brain to not think of it so much and eventually itāll go away . Itās very possible when you get this fantasy under control that your attraction to your boyfriend will come back because your ultimate fear is that you are not attracted to him . I was in a five-year relationship and in the middle of it I had a ROCD moment and the question that looped in my head was what if I donāt love my boyfriend. it haunted me for months and for a while I was uncomfortable being around him, but eventually, after pushing through, that fear subsided, and my feelings were back full force.
Iām just concerned that this means I want to be with the guyšŖmy mind always compared the guy to my bf. I didnāt know that ocd could make you feel such intimacy.
@KitKat02 I get it and Iām sorry youāre dealing with this š I really feel for you. But I really think that everything happens for a reason and if you and your boyfriend are meant to be, youāll get through this and your relationship will be stronger.
At the time I didnāt know that was my OCD and I didnāt have the tools that you have to get through it
I know that doesnāt help you now but if you need to vent or chat Iām here for youā¦ OCD sisters š
Thank you appreciate itš„¹
OCD loves to create conflict. This guy is not real. Heās in your head and can be whatever you want or need. Perhaps you need to work out with your therapist how you feel about your real boyfriend and why
This guy is a guy I used to be intimate with
@Goldfish05 What he means is your thoughts are not actions. Everything you are imagining is just that, imagination. It is okay to have thoughts and imagination. They donāt define you. How we respond and act toward them is what matters.
Do our minds imagine someone to look more attractive than they actually are in real life? I get aroused when I get images of this one guy and it feels like I really want to have sex with him but at the same time I try to push it away. I feel like thereās a part of me that is curious and wanting to explore, but I have a boyfriend and I love him and I only want him.
So I get sexual images of this guy doing sexual things to me and the way he looks turns me on and my mind keeps on telling me that I want to have sex with him instead of my boyfriend. Whenever I try to think of my boyfriend in a sexual way, my mind has me think about the guy instead, and whenever I kiss or do anything sexual with my boyfriend, then I get aroused because I imagine it to be the guy instead of my boyfriend that Iām doing sexual things with. Iām just so confused and curious at the same time. I have a very high sex drive and Iām always aroused by thinking of this one guy. Could this mean that I donāt want my boyfriend and that I want him instead? If so, I donāt want that to be true. I donāt want to think of this guy sexually, but it just happens and it feels natural to me. Like I feel like I crave sex with this guy instead of my boyfriend.
Does anyone struggle with the OCD thought of lust while in a relationship? I get all these intense feelings and feelings that I want to have these thoughts with other people besides my boyfriend in my head yknow? And Iām afraid that these feelings are true and that i want to think these things but I donāt. Iāve been having a hard time this evening with this because the feelings and sensations I have on my body are really strong. And I feel like I sinned against him.
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