I can’t stop thinking to myself “what if I don’t love her” but deep down I know I love her and that’s why I’m getting pissed off with these unwanted thoughts because it’s putting doubt in my head when in reality I love her what should I do?
i feel ya. i’m in this spot right now. it’s still very much off & on for me currently but what’s helped is saying to myself you know what even if i don’t “love” her (as in my OCD form of thinking) then i care about her enough to stay and fight for us and for her and that’s enough love for me. I will continue fighting until i can finally break this cycle. Until then, i’m reminding myself through videos and pictures of times i 1000% felt the “love” im (my OCD) is looking for. i know i love her, and i know i did a few months ago so why would that change now. It’s a type of love i’ve never felt and it felt like our souls danced with eachother and there’s no way that can just be taken away.
@rsimmins00 I’m gonna start thinking this way I was feeling helpless
@Anonymous79276 i really get it. it’s so so hard. but OCD impacts things we care about the most and that are the most important part of our lives and they sneak in and obsess over them. i’m trying to say “mr brain is just being tricky” to myself and sometimes it helps sometimes it doesn’t but i know i will fight this and u will too because we DO love our partners or our ocd brain wouldn’t be attacking us about it
@Anonymous79276 also, i’m not sure about you but this is my first real, healthy, actually loving relationship and it’s brought out a lot of traumas that i need to work on and i think that’s another reason why Ocd is hitting me so hard because this is an actual healthy loving relationship
@rsimmins00 No I’m in the same boat, my previous relationship I got cheated on, lied too, etc the usually shitty partner, but my current partner is loving and caring the complete opposite
@Anonymous79276 yes exactly. this is my only relationship where we actually love eachother & communicate, we see things eye to eye most of the time (atleast big things), we’re loyal and honest. she’s my bestfriend. she actually wants the same things i do and is reassuring and so kind. we have our future planned and have lived together since 3 months in and it’s been amazing all until this ROCD randomly rolled in but also it’s winter and i know for me my mental health gets worse then
Hey there, thanks for reaching out for support. This can be such classic OCD, brining in all the what if's. Our job, very simply put, is to not answer OCD's questions, to not follow it down the rabbit hole and try to figure it out or make meaning out of the obsession. We want to acknowledge the obsession and get back to what we were doing before it came into our experience. We aren't pushing it away, we are allowing it to be there while we keep moving through our day. The obsession tends to dissolve away over time. Here are a few resources for you to consider, https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/the-rumination-trap, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kGTDv6mzrkU and https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qhKmY1IeFf8&t=35s
don’t be afraid to message me if need be
I.) You know you love her… 2.) It is obsessional thoughts/doubts that are making you question. ROCD does not make you loose love or try to change your love for your partner. It’s ether there or isn’t. People with OCD know they love their partner and have thoughts and feelings that go against what they know.
I don’t know why, but my ROCD is really loud right now. I’m obsessed with the idea of our relationship being “right”. Do I need to work on myself more before I can be in a good relationship? (My relationship is great by the way) Am I really going to commit to this person for the rest of my life? Is he holding me back? These are just a few of the questions I’m obsessed with right now. It’s so tiring and I just want to be able to enjoy my relationship for what it is. I’m feeling so sad and down. I’m trying not to search for reassurance but it’s also scary because I think “is this my OCD or is this real and true”. Any advice on how to help this. NOCD doesn’t take my insurance so I can’t go to therapy currently.
Hi friends! I am someone who struggles with general OCD but have recently come to question if it is more specific to my relationship(s). In my heart, I feel that I am currently in the most loving, fulfilling and safe relationship that I have ever been in but lately things have been rocky. I find myself questioning a lot. Examples being: Is he really the one for me? What if I am missing out on something even better? Am I actually happy or am I lying to myself? Is this relationship doomed/am I doomed to be miserable in the future due to our age difference (met at 25 & 32, currently 27 & 35) I find myself trying to pick him apart more often than not lately, almost as though I am looking for something to fixate on in attempt to reassure myself of some of my already negative thoughts? I’m just curious if anyone out there that struggles with ROCD finds any similarities to the thoughts I am having? Sending love!
Does anyone else get “I hate you” thoughts towards their loved ones? For me specifically it’s towards my mom. I have harm OCD and it tends to be directed towards my mom. I have always been close to my mom, she’s my best friend and I know I do love her. I had not ever questioned my love or closeness to her before. However, now with this flare up, I keep getting “I hate you” thoughts whenever I’m with my mom. Even just looking at her can bring this thought into my head. I don’t feel anxiety towards it, but it does make me feel sad and down. I ruminate about how I truly feel, like I’m testing my feelings towards her - do I really hate her? Have my feelings changed and I know longer love her? I have told her this before, out of guilt and seeking reassurance, and she knows I have OCD, but it makes me feel guilty to tell her that since I know it makes her sad. So I guess my main question is, does anyone else get these kind of thoughts? And then do you question your feelings and just feel hesitant to even be around the person?
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