Confession need

@Loveconquersall1 My husband thinks my therapist is giving me “an out” to not giving him information or confessing things. My therapist says that when I do my confessing compulsion that I’m just feeding and growing, my OCD. I am confused between which one is the right thing to do because this is real event OCD

@Anonymous It seems like your husband doesn’t really know about OCD… you confessing is fueling your OCD, it is a COMPULSION.. and it won’t help you in your healing. I used to need to confess to my husband too but I stopped. Yes I still get anxiety but I’m not feeding Into the compulsion. Maybe have your husband watch a video with you that talks about it or maybe he can meet with your therapist together so she can inform him. You do not want to confess

@Loveconquersall1 Thank you for responding! Even if it’s something i know to be true? I know it’s not helpful information, possibly hurtful. But not withholding something that happened- just my own guilt and how i thought of it… a relief i felt. But it sounds like you may understand that any information I keep feels like I’m holding onto a huge lie. So even if it is something that did for sure happen is it still considered a confession?

@Anonymous What do you gain from confessing when it is driven from your OCD.. I understand how you feel but OCD is called the doubt disorder. Is the confession really true? Are you certain? Does he need to know? It sounds like OCD..

@Loveconquersall1 I had a huge fear of cheating. Because I gave another man attention and received attention from him. It got flirtatious and sexually flirtatious, but nothing sexual took place. But after the event, I remember feeling relieved when I got my period because I had already started experiencing OCD around my guilt. Even though I knew nothing physical took place. I started to doubt myself, so I’m wondering if I should tell my husband that I was relieved to get my period?

@issphra 🫶🏻 So you don’t think telling him my response above is necessary?

@Anonymous I’m not sure how your period is involved in this, but if you normally would feel fine about this, I would not confess as it could be a compulsion. I would consult your therapist about this very situation. If you believe you crossed a boundary in your relationship, then your husband deserves to know that. I would just make sure it’s not OCD. However, everyone’s relationships varies. In my eyes, sexual flirtation is not okay but that may be different for you and your husband. I would consult your therapist about this. Honestly, I feel that maybe I don’t understand this situation to its full extent. OCD is one thing, actual cheating is another. My ultimate advice being, ask your therapist. If your therapist believes these details are unnecessary confessions, I would do my best to stop it. I do see how your husband feels the way he does. I would ask your therapist to talk to him honestly.

@issphra 🫶🏻 Sexual flirtation in our relationship is also NOT OK. He knows about everything that went on. That is why I think it’s compulsion because it’s just based around my guilt..

@zsully Yes, he knows all of those things already. My therapist thinks these extra details i keep remembering of not helpful are just compulsions… like my example above.

@Anonymous I agree with your therapist. The extra details like you feeling relieved that you got your period are not necessary information to tell your husband. He knows the line you crossed because you already confessed that. You don’t need to explain your every thought and perceived motive/intention before, during and after.