- Date posted
- 30w
.
Got in a huge argument with my family and it had to do with my ocd (contamination ocd) and they told me they’d wish I was normal. How long do I have to fight this.
Got in a huge argument with my family and it had to do with my ocd (contamination ocd) and they told me they’d wish I was normal. How long do I have to fight this.
In a very dark place right now
For these situations, I found something that works for me. When emotions are turned up to 11, imagine a dial on a stove. When you turn the dial up, the flames go higher and higher. But if you keep turning, the dial goes all the way around and resets to 1. For emotionally charged situations, it's the same way. When the brain gets overwhelmed with too many signals, it flatlines and burns up all the energy for the neurons to fire. Then thoughts have an opportunity to reset and signals calm down quickly. You can lean into what they say and push overboard by doing what they want and then more, like saying: "I will try my best to be normal."
I’m sorry you’re going through this, I know how hard it can be when family doesn’t understand. Before I was diagnosed, my brother had contamination OCD when he was 14. I remember feeling confused and even annoyed because I didn’t understand his experience. Now that I’ve been through it myself, I see how lost I felt back then and how my reactions, even when I thought I was helping, sometimes fed his compulsions. Their response likely comes from a lack of knowledge, not a lack of love. People often don’t realize how painful this experience is from the inside. But showing up for yourself matters most. Take it one day at a time. You don’t need to solve everything today. Just keep doing the work; progress happens through the process, not in a perfect moment. The path isn’t easy, but the way forward is in continuing to live alongside the discomfort. If you don’t mind me asking, are you in active therapy?
I am so sorry this happened to you. It's terrible when the people who are supposed to support you are actually hurting you and tearing you down over an illness that isn't your fault... I have expierenced this many times myslef and it never stops hurting. But also try to remember most are just uneducated and ignorant about what having OCD really means. And sometimes they don't mean ill but are just overwhelmed and feel powerless about what to with our OCD just as we do. There are many strong people in this community who got better and live with OCD in spite of society and their family being ignorant about it. I am sure you can do it too.
I had like a really bad argument with my mom basically about her complaining about my “attitude” and “constant arrogance” like okay firstly 😭 yes i do have an attitude and am irritable but im not THAT bad 😭🙏 she was saying that im a “pest” and that “its not enjoyable to live with someone who makes other people miserable” like 😅🧍♀️ oh ☺️ and then i tell her that i know im struggling and that im going to therapy to try to get better and trying to possibly get a diagnosis and she says “your generation just wants something to deal with. You want something to be wrong with you. ‘Trying to get better’ isn’t good enough… would you be able to stand someone like yourself? You’re just choosing this antisocial, narcissistic behaviour and harass everyone… You need to pull yourself together. No matter how much effort we put into you, you will never be happy. You want some medicine? Some diagnosis? Because that will solve everything?” 😭😭😭 and the way she said “some medication”- she sounded so disgusted and appalled and now i feel ashamed… i mean im not officially diagnosed with ocd and it is never my intention to self diagnose- but im sorry its VERY obvious when you have ocd and know of ocd- its so distinct. Everything- the compulsions, reassurance, intrusive thoughts, themes, patterns, perfectionism- but she has me overthinking- what if i dont have ocd 😭 and ive just been lying to myself and everyone maybe its not ocd and im just sick in the head or trying to self sabotage- and especially when my supposed ocd is calm or not as loud i get so anxious “what if i dont have ocd…”
Today is Easter and it was supposed to be low key for me and my family but my mom invited a family member that bothers my ocd alot and now they are on their way here and I'm freaking out I already had a panic attack (still having it) and my family is not helping either they keep making comments about how they just want one holiday with no problems and some other comments and it's like I'm sorry I'm not normal like my siblings I didn't ask to be like this now I'm just hurt, upset and I locked myself in my room for the rest of day. (And I was doing so good with erp and this is like making me have a ocd relapse)
Having ocd is so incredibly exhausting and depressing- my mom and dad argued with me for over an hour talking about how im a pain to be around, go in too many loops, and ruin everything and everyones mood… this conversation started with me saying im stressed out because of school and that i dont want to go because im exhausted- and idk if this is like ocd directly but it takes me like 2 hours to get ready in the morning because i need to look PERFECT and the same everyday literally 😭 and that process feels so exhausting every morning at 6am but i will NOT go to school without going through with it- i will literally be crying and shaking and wanting to go home the minute i get to school if even a single strand of my hair is not perfectly straightened or any blemishes or flaws are showing- and i cant even walk to school or anything bc im scared the humidity will mess with my hair and everything- and it just really affects my life? And yeah its freaking exhausting. And i have two more years of highschool and I dont know if im going to make it 😭i get super stressed over grades too because i need them to be extraordinary otherwise its a fail. Nothing below 95%. And thats also tiring! 😁 and my mom told me today “medication IS NOTTTT AND OPTION!!!” Like oh okay so im just cooked 😭 and therapy isnt really helping me at all- i feel like what im being told is so basic and generic and it doesn’t help me when im in a huge ocd episode- which is often… and what i hate most is like my mom says “don’t come to me with your problems after 6pm…” im sorry i cant schedule my feelings 😭 im so tired
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond