- Date posted
- 23w
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Got in a huge argument with my family and it had to do with my ocd (contamination ocd) and they told me they’d wish I was normal. How long do I have to fight this.
Got in a huge argument with my family and it had to do with my ocd (contamination ocd) and they told me they’d wish I was normal. How long do I have to fight this.
In a very dark place right now
For these situations, I found something that works for me. When emotions are turned up to 11, imagine a dial on a stove. When you turn the dial up, the flames go higher and higher. But if you keep turning, the dial goes all the way around and resets to 1. For emotionally charged situations, it's the same way. When the brain gets overwhelmed with too many signals, it flatlines and burns up all the energy for the neurons to fire. Then thoughts have an opportunity to reset and signals calm down quickly. You can lean into what they say and push overboard by doing what they want and then more, like saying: "I will try my best to be normal."
I’m sorry you’re going through this, I know how hard it can be when family doesn’t understand. Before I was diagnosed, my brother had contamination OCD when he was 14. I remember feeling confused and even annoyed because I didn’t understand his experience. Now that I’ve been through it myself, I see how lost I felt back then and how my reactions, even when I thought I was helping, sometimes fed his compulsions. Their response likely comes from a lack of knowledge, not a lack of love. People often don’t realize how painful this experience is from the inside. But showing up for yourself matters most. Take it one day at a time. You don’t need to solve everything today. Just keep doing the work; progress happens through the process, not in a perfect moment. The path isn’t easy, but the way forward is in continuing to live alongside the discomfort. If you don’t mind me asking, are you in active therapy?
I am so sorry this happened to you. It's terrible when the people who are supposed to support you are actually hurting you and tearing you down over an illness that isn't your fault... I have expierenced this many times myslef and it never stops hurting. But also try to remember most are just uneducated and ignorant about what having OCD really means. And sometimes they don't mean ill but are just overwhelmed and feel powerless about what to with our OCD just as we do. There are many strong people in this community who got better and live with OCD in spite of society and their family being ignorant about it. I am sure you can do it too.
I don’t know if it’s worth it to keep going. I have so many diagnoses, so little support, and constant struggles with finding the right medication. My immune system is weak, I have multiple deficiencies, and I’m dealing with so many physical health problems on top of severe OCD. It’s just too much. On top of everything, my family treats me so not okay. Every single day is a fight just to keep going—to wake up, to eat, to take care of myself even a little. I’ve lost over ten pounds in the last two weeks from how depressed I’ve been. And instead of support, all I get is blame. My family constantly throws my struggles in my face, calling me selfish, as if I’m choosing this. I am trying so hard to push past all of this. But after five long months of severe OCD, anxiety, depression, panic disorder, and everything else making life unbearable, I am exhausted. And to be called lazy? Selfish? *Worthless*? How am I supposed to keep going when the people around me refuse to see how hard I’m trying? I don’t want this anymore. None of this suffering feels worth it. What am I fighting for just to be treated this way by my own family? To be yelled at for the look on my face, when my face reflects nothing but the stress, panic, and despair I’m drowning in? Am I still supposed to smile for them? This isn’t fair. No one should have to live like this. I don’t deserve to be treated this way, I’m really trying to keep going, but I just want everything to end.
So I recently got diagnosed with ocd, and due to me growing up in a household who doesn’t believe in it I have an even harder time grasping if it’s a real diagnosis or not. I know it is but my parents still get mad at me when I tell them not to reassure me and things like that, since they don’t want to understand me anytime. They always put the blame on me and they do everything and how I’m ungrateful. I am very greatful but I told my mom to try to understand this condition but she refuses to, my dad just completely ignores that it exists. It’s just hard to cope around it and not be stuck in a loop, I’m leaving in a few months after graduating so hopefully that will help. It’s hard when my parents don’t want to try to understand what I go through.
Today is Easter and it was supposed to be low key for me and my family but my mom invited a family member that bothers my ocd alot and now they are on their way here and I'm freaking out I already had a panic attack (still having it) and my family is not helping either they keep making comments about how they just want one holiday with no problems and some other comments and it's like I'm sorry I'm not normal like my siblings I didn't ask to be like this now I'm just hurt, upset and I locked myself in my room for the rest of day. (And I was doing so good with erp and this is like making me have a ocd relapse)
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