- Date posted
- 33w
backpedaling
just when I think i’m having a good weekend and I can forget about my struggles my brain tells me i’m not allowed to feel happy and that there’s always SOMETHING i need to be worrying about. so frustrating :(
just when I think i’m having a good weekend and I can forget about my struggles my brain tells me i’m not allowed to feel happy and that there’s always SOMETHING i need to be worrying about. so frustrating :(
Hi, I’m sorry OCD is running your weekend. That’s what it does, it’s like a broken alarm clock, constantly going off and telling you something is wrong even when nothing actually is. One thing I like to keep in mind is that I decide what’s worth my attention. I can acknowledge the thought, recognize that the alarm is blaring, but still go on with my day. The noise doesn’t have to control what I do. I used to feel anxious about not being anxious, always checking in on my emotions like I was waiting for something bad to happen. But emotions; whether it’s happiness, anxiety, or anything else—are like clouds. They come and go, we acknowledge them, but we don’t have to chase them or hold onto them. You don’t have to earn happiness, and OCD doesn’t get to decide whether you deserve to feel good. I hope your day gets better!
@AnonymityK this is a great tool, thank you :))
Hi there, OCD loves to join the party when it isn't invited or wanted. I can imagine you were having a lovely weekend, relaxing and maybe even noticing an absence of fear when boom, OCD pops up and starts demanding worry about future potential concerns. I love the clouds in the sky recommendation given by another Member! Here is a video with other tips to challenge the compulsive rumination, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UXIllLvRUZE
@Jennifer Dalimonte thank you so much i really appreciate it!!
@violettag6 - You are most welcome!
Hi ! just wanted to send well wishes your way. OCD can be so debilitating.
I feel the same way so often 😢 I hope your brain settles down and lets you enjoy your time, and I’m glad you had those happy feelings in the first place! ✌️
@flyana thank you!!!
Ugh, I feel that. OCD is so relentless sometimes. I'm glad you had a pretty good weekend even with your brain still causing some hardship! I know that's frustrating.
Hello, I am so sorry that you had this experience. It sounds frustrating and disheartening. At the same time, I think it would be worthwhile to consider the following. First, you did have a period of time that was enjoyable and maybe even blissful. That is a sign of improvement in your struggle with OCD and/or anxiety as I bet that there was a time when your OCD and/or anxiety prevented you from having any substantial amount of time without feeling stressed. Secondly, while it is true that you cannot control these thoughts, you CAN control your actions. Meaning, you can acknowledge how annoying and disruptive these thoughts are, but then go on with your day and do the activities you want such as exercise, reading, going out with friends, etc. Actually being active can be much healthier than sitting around your home moping over your unwanted thoughts.
@Noah Pollack I’ve definitely been trying to get myself more motivated and trying to stay active since i posted this. I really appreciate the advice :)
@violettag6 You are very welcome and I wish you much success with this!
Last week was a lot easier for me. I felt like thoughts didn’t control me and my actions as much as they did earlier. Today was really hard for me and I feel like I’m starting to lose hope again:( I can’t take the thoughts and the feelings that come with them anymore. I feel like I have failed and I’m never going to be happy again.
For context: ive been diagnosed with arfid. But my brain refuses to accept it and that i don’t have an issue with eating. So this past weekend has been anything but chill. Today felt like the tip of the iceberg. My mom called me out for having an irrational fear of food textures, food appearances, and smells i find distasteful and told me i just let myself get too carried away by the “what if” “could be” “might be” “looks like/smells like/tastes like..” thoughts. I just have to get over it essentially and stop giving it too much meaning. Its ridiculous. I was taken aback cos we weren’t even talking about food to begin with and it just sort of came up with her. Still in disbelief and so frustrated. Seriously thinking about just isolating myself and not talk to anyone about anything cos i don’t know what to do anymore.
So my ocd has been doing better, in the sense that I am able to resist compulsions, but the thoughts are still there. And I get so upset because some days I’m just constantly stuck in my own head. Like I went out to today with my mom, and for a solid hour I was spiraling. And my OCD has been trying to make it seem like this flare up is different, and that because things aren’t working out the way I want them to be regarding my recovery, that it’s not OCD and I’m just a crazy person. It causes me to just shut down and want to just go home. I get so upset that I want to cry. I get intrusive thoughts that something bad is gonna happen, or that something doesn’t feel right, and so it feels like I do something, anything, to make me feel better about it. I also can’t sleep in my own bed. I’m so afraid that I won’t fall asleep in it, and if I don’t sleep, I will go crazy. My thoughts are just so scary rn, I don’t know what to do. I don’t want anything bad to happen to me :(
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