When I talk about how terrible I used to be to my girlfriend it makes me feel like I’m gonna do it again which I don’t wanna do and it scares me and then I get intrusive thoughts and feelings about it doing it but I don’t want to, weird I know.
Hello Cam$$$, I can see that you are struggling with these intrusive thoughts. To add to what Jamie has said, the best approach is to let the thoughts pass, without disputing them. Intrusive thoughts feed on the desire to feel certain. The key is sitting with uncertainty. This is challenging and feels uncomfortable in the face of intrusive thoughts, the paradox is that when we sit with uncertainty rather than resist, the discomfort passes. Seeing this most would say, yeah, easier said than done. I have to agree, and that is where ERP comes in. Working with a therapist that has expertise in these conditions, allows you to take this challenge on incrementally. If you want to begin the process please don't hesitate to reach out to our care team at NOCD. I hope this information finds you well and know that at NOCD, we are always here to help!
Doing what? Your compulsions?
Not weird, these are common thoughts. How did you overcome being “terrible” before?
@MichelleV Well I got on mood stabilizers, and I’ve been pretty good. Yesterday we were talking about it and then I started to get anxiety about oh no whatt if I’ll do it again and now I have anxiety, I don’t know if it’s just my ocd trying to gaslight me ?
@Cam$$$ It could be your OCD. When you get scared that you might do it again, how do you want to respond? Do you feel an urge to ruminate or check your current behaviors?
@MichelleV I usually talk to my girlfriend and tell her my problems, which I know is unhealthy
Hey there, I agree with Michelle that this could absolutely be OCD pipping in. It loves to pick on our past behavior, where maybe we weren't our best version of ourselves and then tell us we have to figure out for certain if it will happen again or not. This is a slippery slope to take on. Have you engaged in ERP before? It would encourage you to allow those thoughts/ fears/doubts to be present while carrying on with your day. We don't have to like them, just allow them to follow us around while not giving them much attention (or compulsions). You might find this video helpful, too. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qhKmY1IeFf8
@Jennifer Dalimonte I am in outpatient now and trying to learn that, I didn’t think it was OCD, but after you said that it might have been because IT DOES like to pick on what you’ve done in the past, hopefully I get better at catching it.
@Cam$$$ - I am glad that was helpful. OCD can be such a sneaky thing, it loves to change shape and try to throw us off our game. I'm glad you're in outpatient. Do you happen to know if your clinician specializes in treating OCD? It's actually very common for many therapists to not understand what OCD really is and accidentally play into OCD's games.
@Jennifer Dalimonte Yes they do not, I am trying to find an ocd therapist that takes my insurance, well I haven’t started to look but I do need too. What do they do exactly ?
@Cam$$$ - Have you considered booking a free 15 minute phone call with NOCD? We have wonderful staff who would be happy to check your insurance and talk with you about the ERP process with our OCD specialists.
So i had really bad pure ocd but recently it’s been sooo much better but i’m in a relationship and me and my bf dated before about 2 years ago then we broke up and now we are back together but i’m having an issue where i will try to go back years and find something i did wrong and i really do not want to find anything to feel wrong about or guilty specifically something i may have done wrong to my boyfriend but the thing is i’m a good girlfriend and i’m very loyal so i don’t want to ruin something for me because of my past if that makes sense like i can’t remember doing anything wrong but my brain keeps going are u sure let’s look at all your interactions with people and it’s so annoying i just wanna live my life in the present does anyone have any tips
I will be straight forward and honest. I have cheated in the past. My last relationship was long term, and I had begged and begged for him to change and in the end he never did. I don’t know why I cheated. And I’m not going to make excuses for myself for why I did. I messed up. The cheating was online, it was never in person. But now, I’m in a new relationship. And he’s everything I have ever wanted in a boyfriend, husband, and best friend. I want this man to be with me the rest of our lives, and I want to see him help raise our future children. But I can’t help but feel such immense guilt, because although I have never cheated on him, his ex had cheated on him. And I truly don’t understand how or why she would…but that’s not my place to comment on. Such a big part of me wants to tell him, and tell him that that’s not me anymore, and I know that we will communicate healthily and openly, unlike my last relationship, which he never wanted to. Not only this, my brain just won’t. stop. thinking…about how I had cheated. I regret doing what I had done, I don’t WANT to cheat anymore, or ever again. Especially with the love of my life I have now. But I’m scared of what do I do if I have a compulsion, or anything revolving around cheating. I want to tell him about it, but I know I shouldn’t, and can’t really tell him as it’s complicated, and I know I would only make things worse. I feel like such a terrible person, and girlfriend, for what I have done and what I’m worried about ‘if I do’, even though I don’t want to. I want to be better, I want to grow. Any advice please would be amazing.
I am so scared of everything .Of my thoughts.If I am a good person.Years ago I didnt help a kid who was in danger.Since then I started to have terrible thoughts :( i am so terrified.I still have these thoughts and I am scared it means something about me .I really dont want to hurt anyone and I want to help that kid now but idk how I can now.Also I am scared I betray everyone.I still have terrible thoughts and when I am with someone I care is worse...idk why.For example I started to talk with a collegue and he is really nice to me.I told him some things abt me( not the intrusive thoughts) and he was supportive.I have no idea if I will tell anyone abt my thoughts..and bcs of that I feel like I lie to them and betray them.I really want to enjoy my life and be happy and support people( especially because I didnt help that kid then).I want to live up to my morals now but I feel like I lie and manipulate people bcs I am a monster.Is this normal? To feel this way? What can I do? What if I am my worst fear and just cant accept it?!
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