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OCD can manipulate your feelings yes. With me all I want to is to get better and be strong but I feel the opposite, like too weak to deal with all the thoughts , if that’s what you mean?

That’s how I am right now, just can’t even bear to deal with the thoughts right now, it’s too much I’m so emotionally exhausted I just feel so weak. I feel dead inside

Sorry you're struggling with this! I think we sometimes gives OCD more credit than it deserves 😂. It isn't some gremlin latched onto our brains controlling us and our feelings against our will (even though sometimes people find it helpful to think of it that way). It doesn't spread like a tumor and "infect" different parts of you. When you get down to it, OCD is just our strong desire to avoid intrusive thoughts, avoid anxiety, and gain complete certainty/control when it isn't possible. Because of this strong desire, we pay a LOT of attention to thoughts that scare us, and do whatever it takes to get rid of them, which feeds the "ironic process" that keeps the cycle of anxiety going. So personally I wouldn't say that OCD "plays with your feelings," but rather it can warp your *interpretation* of your feelings. You may overanalyze your feelings and think they mean something about you when they really don't. All of this overthinking is stressful, and stress causes a lot of feelings in the body. That's why most OCD treatment involves mindfulness. At the end of the day, what we all need to learn is how to be present with our feelings, rather than latching onto the thoughts. As we practice this, things naturally become less confusing. When you feel sad, you allow yourself to feel sad. When you feel anxious, you allow yourself to feel anxious. You don't attach extra stories to those feelings. It's okay to feel whatever you feel. Hope this perspective is helpful. If not, just ignore me!