Hard to accept criticism?

Hi came to vent. Sometimes people tell me to stop overthinking and that I need to change that. And I try to give myself grace because I know ocd is real. But then I think “Or am I just lacking accountability?” Because then I hear stuff from people like “you’re just not helping yourself.” Or “you think so negative.” This and that and sometimes I really do feel like it’s just hard, because it feels so automatic… And it hurts my feelings when I’m told that I’m too much, or too negative. Or I need to work on this and that. Then I feel MORE guilt for not being able to accepting criticism well. Because the criticizing voice gets stuck in my head constantly.

Wolfram

Date posted: 24w

It's kind of a weird one. All things are true for someone with ocd and ruminating. It's not one or the other. But hearing it from others feels like an invasion of your mind and they showing you your dirty laundry. I find showing gratitude helps. Towards the inner voice, thoughts and others. Thank them and redirect. If you need to set boundaries with others too, that's also OK. Hope the rest of your day gets better

Angel J K

Date posted: 24w

@Wolfram Thank you @wolfram for responding 🥺 It can feel like they’re airing dirty laundry. I guess maybe it can be a pride thing too. You saying to thank them, and then redirect the conversation is a good idea. Maybe that will help me to not be so quick to get defensive and practice learning how to hear someone else out too🥲

christrepida...

Date posted: 24w

I’d just like to say that you have no idea how incredibly relatable everything you said is. I feel like you put my thoughts into words! I know this is tough, I’ve been feeling the same about not being able to accept criticism and trying to differentiate between what my experience with OCD is versus what I’m telling myself/have a little bit more control over. I’ve been thinking about this a lot this last week cause I feel like my brain has been doing it’s absolute hardest to be my biggest bully, and I think that a big chunk of that is OCD. I think it’s really brave and a really admirable trait to be able to give yourself grace and remember that sometimes our thought processes require more sensitivity. Give yourself credit for being kind to yourself 🫶🏻 For me personally, I’ve been trying to create baby step ways so I can change the narrative I’ve made about myself into something more positive. Kind of like the previous person said about redirecting our thoughts. And even though I get defensive when someone gives me constructive criticism, the one thing I try to remember is that most of the time it’s coming from a place of care/love, it’s up to us to decide if that criticism is beneficial and worth reflecting on. Keep being kind to yourself 🫶🏻

Angel J K

Date posted: 24w

@christrepidation Wow actually the first paragraph you said opened my eyes a bit too. The idea that maybe I do~ have more control over certain things than I realize. Sometimes when you’ve been in the depths with OCD, (but then come out the depths) it’s easy to stay stuck in certain habits. That’s true too. It’s time to change the narrative. Because OCD is such an annoying bully with what it says about who I am already. So when I hear others say it it’s like a shot to the heart hahah😅🥲 Thank you for responding and helping me realize that the critisicm is usually coming from people who want us to be set free from the traps of OCD

Katie_kat

Date posted: 24w

I’m newly diagnosed with ocd and frustrated.

I’m newly diagnosed with ocd. I tend to ruminate on mistakes I’ve made or things I’ve said, I often find myself trying to convince myself I’m not everything my ocd tries to convince me I am. I can’t control my thoughts half the time and it’s exhausting. I’ve laid awake night after night researching various diseases and illnesses trying to convince myself I’m not dying I don’t know where my ocd begins and ends at this point. I think I’ve always had a tendency to over think but the health ocd started more recently. I was diagnosed with nerve damage in my face and arthritis and I think that sparked something in me that makes my mind wonder to no end what else is wrong. Recently I’ve been struggling with the feelings of not being enough or being too much, I’ve been looking back at things I’ve done and said in the past and wonder why people put up with my shit and then I spiral into the inevitable chaos of my overthinking. I’m trying really hard to learn how to control it but I’m sure everyone here can attest as to how painful and aggravating that can be. I just needed to vent.

SunnyAnon

Date posted: 18w

ocd + interests + online discussions

i’ve been having this theme pop up recently where if I see people either criticize or be a hater and spread misinformation or seeing old controversies about my current interests/hyper-fixations i find myself having a crazy anxiety attack about if it’s “morally okay” to be interested in my interests anymore. i feel really singled out and like im doing something wrong because im watching a youtuber or listening to a specific musical group. in all of these specific situations the people involved have talked about the situations and have changed accordingly but seeing it makes me feel like i shouldn’t be allowed to like my favorite things. to be clear none of these things are dramatically evil or bad. it’s either misinformation/uneducated people influencing someone opinion and then they learn and change. it just makes me feel like im not allowed to like my favorite things anymore because of people criticizing it??? if that makes sense??? also this is a little off topic but also not really because i’m 99.99% sure im autistic because of MANY things but with this specifically i have very strong interests and i feel very deep feelings about them and any and all criticism or hateful comments towards my favorite things trigger me deeply and make my ocd act up and make me feel uncomfortable and uncertain and anxious and it causes physical discomfort to me. i really don’t know how to calm myself down about this specific theme it’s brand new and makes me feel really anxious. not trying to look for reassurance but does anyone else understand what i mean??? does anyone have any advice on how to not give into the negative comments??? any suggestions on how to ease this specific anxiety???

"Pure" OCD

kiwicowgirl

Date posted: 17w

I’m “bad” at sex (18+)

So I got dumped today by my situationship. For background, we talked for like 3 months, and I just recently lost my virginity to her. We only had sex twice. After she said we should still be friends, goofily (reassurance-seeking) I asked “but the sex was good right?” And she told me it was “good for a virgin” which hurt my feelings, then going even further she said “not in my top ten.” This made me CRY, like on the spot, right there in front of her (not the most embarrassing thing I’ve ever done…. But definitely in my top ten). I started having intrusive thoughts about how I’m unattractive/unworthy of love. She asked me why I was crying, but I just said “I don’t like myself very much,” which is always the underlying problem with me. And she reassured me that I’m “not a bad person” and “it’s not because you’re not smart or not beautiful.” But the reassurance made me spiral more, bc I was thinking “I didn’t even mention feeling unattractive or stupid, she can just tell that I am.” Then it kept getting worse and worse, “I’m unattractive/unlovable/stupid. I’m not good at sex, I’m not good at anything.” I had to stop myself and realize it was OCD obsessing over the things “wrong” with me. I think I started this post wanting reassurance, but now I think I want to know if anyone has any tips on accepting criticism as someone with OCD, bc it always sends me down a “there is something wrong with me” spiral.

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