Hey yall, having a tough time. I’ve been struggling with intrusive thoughts while I self pleasure and it GENUIENLY feels like I enjoy them for whatever reason. And then now about half an hour later it’s like okay it’s a sexual thought but I might not actually like it. Idk I just really hate myself, because I basically genuinely liked it in the moment
Hey, I just want to say that you’re not alone in this. OCD and intrusive thoughts can be incredibly deceptive, especially when they cause doubt about things that feel “real” in the moment. The thing is, intrusive thoughts can trigger physical or emotional responses, but that does not mean they reflect your true self, values, or desires. The more you analyze and try to “figure out” what it means, the deeper the cycle gets. Your brain is trying to find certainty in something that doesn’t need to be figured out. The best thing you can do is acknowledge the thought, remind yourself that it’s just a random misfiring, and move on without engaging in reassurance-seeking or self-judgment. It might help to work with a therapist who understands OCD and ERP (Exposure and Response Prevention), as it’s a powerful way to break free from these thought loops. You’re not broken, you’re not a bad person, and you deserve to be kind to yourself. You’re going to get through this. Sending you strength!
Hi same here i feel like each time I overanalyze the situation it get worse and I end up questioning my intentions and am not sure what my intentions are maybe they r true
I suffer from these thoughts too & It tends to continue popping up because I’m already expecting it to. You can never NOT think of something. The moment you try to avoid a thought, it will come right back even harder. This sexual thought you have, regardless of its content is sexual and it can have all the same effects as a sexual thought you enjoy. Our bodies react to sexual thoughts even if we don’t want to. It’s human nature. Also, just because it feels like you enjoy it, doesn’t mean you actually do and it doesn’t mean you are going to act on it. Allow yourself to be in the unknown and not figure out if you really enjoyed it or not. Maybe you did, maybe you didn’t. Nothing you think defines you. I have heard every scary thought and have had every scary thought imaginable, so I can relate
@My OCD Academia Thank you for this, it’s just really frustrating because in the moment I DID enjoy it and I broke down crying immediately crying. How could I like something so terrible? This all happened a couple nights ago and looking back I just feel disgusted and can’t even imagine how I could have liked that. I guess it’s good when I think of it now there’s not a feeling of enjoyment but it’s still hard to say it doesn’t define me
I’m really struggling with something related to me ocd, and I would appreciate kind and supportive advice. If you can’t relate or don’t think anything you have to say would be helpful, I kindly ask pls refrain from commenting this is a really sensitive topic for me. Recently, I’ve noticed a pattern that feels something extremely new and distressing. The first time it happened I remember telling myself before self pleasuring that I am in control no matter what thought comes into my mind because I wanted to prove to myself that these thoughts are just from OCD and I know who I am and an intrusive that came out of no where, and i suddenly felt an intense fear that I was acting on it. In the moment I genuinely felt like I did. And afterword, I panicked and started questioning myself. This SAME FEELING has happened three times in a row each time, the intrusive thought was unwanted and random, and completely against my morals most recently it involved pocd and it feels even worse because it generally felt like I acted on it the thought in the moment while I was self pleasuring the panic doesn’t hit until afterwards when I stop :/ I start thinking that maybe I generally made a mistake and I’m now just realizing that it’s wrong because it generally feels like that :( but when I actually think about it again goes against my morals and values doesn’t make sense it feels incredibly real, and I can’t seem to shake this feeling off that I may have acted on it I’m terrified because I never wanted these thoughts in the first place. And I definitely didn’t choose them. If I had known, I would’ve had these intrusive thoughts I wouldn’t have self pleasured in the first place but it’s extremely hard to convince myself that this may be OCD because I feel like I have no other reason to believe that I didn’t act on it :/
I’m sharing this bc I need advice or even support from anyone who can relate. If you can’t relate and don’t think you’ll say anything helpful or kind pls don’t comment anything… I’ve been struggling with somethings that’s making me question myself. There has been moments while self pleasuring when I get intrusive thoughts, in those moments it feels like I’m enjoying or even self pleasuring myself bc of the thought. Right after I immediately have an anxiety attack and my HEART drops bc it feels terrible I feel like a disgusting monster :( ppl have told me I haven’t done a bad bc of how intense my guilt and panic are but I keep thinking that MAYBE I made a horrible decision in the moment and the guilt is just realising that it’s just wrong this doesn’t make sense to me because I’ve always told myself that I would never act on this in 1 million years and I’ve been known that these things are wrong so I’m just like constantly questioning myself these feelings and exact same situation has happened two times already I even promised myself that I wouldn’t act on anything beforehand and yeah, I still felt like I did act on my thought during my alone time I’m genuinely convinced that I’m a horrible and it’s even got into the point where I don’t wanna be here anymore and I don’t even think this is my OCD :( tbh
**TMI Warning: This post is very personal and might be uncomfortable for some.** I’m feeling panicked and need to get this out. I have intrusive thoughts that make me question my morals, especially about consent. I have a CNC preference (consent to non-consent), but I feel so conflicted because I know how horrifying and heartbreaking real non-consensual acts are. The thought of anyone suffering in that way is so awful, yet I get thoughts that feel like I’m justifying the real thing—the immoral thing. Sometimes, I feel like I have to focus hard just to truly condemn it, and that terrifies me. It’s hard to separate these thoughts from who I am, and I’m scared it means something terrible about me. I feel so much shame for having a CNC preference. I know it’s rooted in consent, but I feel like I’ve never had certainty that I fully condemn the real thing. I’m scared that deep down, I might think it’s all the same.
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