Today: Health OCD AMA with me, Sam Temple, 4pm CT / 5pm ET

OCD can present itself in many different ways, and I know both of these feelings all too well. I am sorry that you are experiencing these feelings. I experienced meta OCD until I started seeing real improvements from ERP! It's very easy to feel like you're stuck and will never recover when you aren't seeing much improvement within yourself. I remember feeling extremely trapped in my mind and helpless until I started seeing improvement. My advice to you is to genuinely commit to ERP, practice your exposures, and over time you will see your response to these thoughts start to fade. Somatic OCD, before I was officially diagnosed, was actually the first subtype of OCD I ever experienced! Since I was a child, I had several compulsions that I know now were OCD related. I'll refrain from giving specific bodily function examples to avoid potentially triggering, but I would be hyper aware of my body's automatic functions. What helped me, although extremely difficult, is trying as hard as I could to delay the compulsions and body-checking behaviors for as long as I could after feeling the need to perform the compulsion. The amount of time I was able to delay the compulsion became longer and longer until I was able to establish trust within my body that I did not need to perform the compulsion, and I was still safe. Today, I am grateful for ERP which has made my OCD manageable enough for me to feel like I have my life back. I wish the same for your journey!

Accepting uncertainty for me was, and is, one of the hardest things to do in my OCD journey. I had an extremely intense fear of uncertainty that fed into my existential OCD. What worked for me through ERP was slowly accepting that there are some things I will never be sure of, and that's okay. That exposure was extremely hard for me! It's difficult to learn to accept the things that are in your control and mitigate your response to the things that aren't. I started labeling these thoughts in my mind as intrusive and doing my best to let them pass me by. This takes different amounts of time for everyone, but for me personally, I saw improvement in a few months of ERP for this specific trigger.

I have an issue with staying organized as well as my mind is always going 100 miles per hour! I have found that journaling helps me organize my mind, and I also like to keep a calendar and a to do list. Writing things down is crucial for my organizational process! I also find a lot of gratification in being able to check things off of a list and create short term goals.

Yes! I would not say I have "beat" existential OCD, and I likely never will. And that's okay! There is no "cure" for any type of OCD, only management and reduction of symptoms. I have greatly reduced my existential OCD to a level that is generally non-impactful to my day to day routine through ERP. Believe me...I KNOW how crippling it can be. It's imperative to not give up on yourself, and practice your exposures as hard as it may be. You will begin to see small improvements and in my experience, those small improvements motivated me to push through and see larger improvements.

While I have not personally experienced this subtype of OCD, you are not alone and this is very common! I am so sorry that you are experiencing this difficult subtype. Something important to remember for any type of OCD, is that your thoughts are intrusive and ego-dystonic; meaning that these thoughts are against your core beliefs and values.

I totally understand where you're coming from. Something I have noticed while navigating my own OCD journey and being in the OCD community is that everyone has their "thing" or "things". And by this, I mean that OCD is not one size fits all - some subtypes that feel crippling to others may not impact me at all, and vice versa. I believe that speaking to a professional is the best approach, but even in your day to day life when feeling the need to discuss your OCD or certain triggering subtypes, there is nothing wrong with first asking and making sure the person you are speaking with is comfortable hearing potentially triggering topics. Not everyone has OCD or a mind that easily gets into loops like ours do, which can help us lean on others when we need to discuss the way our minds work!

Yes! And very often, they are. Which personally gives me a little bit of peace and reminds me that I can't control every thought I have. I have several thoughts that have compulsions that don't necessarily make sense, but make me feel better or more at ease. Obsessions and compulsions are all about trying to make sense of uncertainty, and sometimes the compulsions we feel the need to do are illogical, but for some reason bring us comfort. For example - someone may touch everything green in their closet before going to bed because they fear if they don't, they'll have a bad day the next day. These events aren't related, but our mind tries to convince us they are to rid ourselves of the fear of uncertainty we may be facing.