Double standards for certainty?

Do you ever feel like people without OCD have an easy time just saying “you need to accept uncertainty” only because they’re not subject to the same level of fear and anxiety as an OCD sufferer would? I feel like they don’t really accept uncertainty, they’re just naturally more certain about things. For example, if you ask anyone whether they think their loved ones are real or not, they will never answer with “maybe, but I’ll never know for sure”. They’ll just say “of course they are”. Isn’t that what certainty is? For me, as I’ve been suffering from existential OCD most of my adult life, such a question absolutely terrifies me. The mere thought of my loved ones and the world not being real sends me into a spiral of anxiety and depression and never ending certainty-seeking behavior. I just can’t stand the thought of that horrible scenario being true. How can one accept uncertainty about such a thought, when it completely undermines all my values and beliefs and world view? Can non-OCD sufferers really accept those nighmarish scenarios? Am I misunderstanding what ERP and therapy is about?

moon0270

Date posted: 24w

i completely relate to this, but especially "how can one accept uncertainty about such a thought, when it completely undermines all my values and beliefs and world view?"— I feel this part so heavily

Anonymous

Date posted: 24w

This read almost exactly like my last session with my erp I said exactly that almost exactly wow

eugeniodepalo

Date posted: 24w

@Anonymous What did your therapist say about that? I’d be really curious to know!

Gremlin of D...

Date posted: 24w

I’ve had all of these thoughts. And you’re right, it’s always about the themes we are fixated on. I could so easily take your post and replace “ask anyone whether they would harm another person. They would never answer with ‘maybe but I’ll never know for sure.’l 😭😭

eugeniodepalo

Date posted: 24w

@Gremlin of Drinks Yeah, when my theme switches to something else I’m like “Really? I was worried about that? That’s so silly, I so wish I’d be worried about that and not this.” But then when I circle back to the original theme it feels exactly the opposite and I start “missing” my old theme…

amethyst777

Date posted: 24w

Have you ever considered it being sort of like a court case? I mean have you ever listened or watched a story and you strongly believed someone was guilty of murder for sure and the judge and everyone ended up agreeing with you? There gets a point where you trust what you believe because of the evidence.

eugeniodepalo

Date posted: 24w

@amethyst777 That’s a very interesting way to look at it, and I can definitely do that for everything *except* the current theme of my OCD. So I totally understand the feeling of certainty but I can never have that for whatever my OCD has decided to focus on, because it just prevents me from fully believing any evidence or will even trick me into interpreting the evidence as something that validates my fear.

No matric ce...

Date posted: 24w

I don't have existential ocd but I will say that with ocd no matter what theme or subtype or topic you will never be or get 100% certainty you have to accept uncertainty it's the only way to loosen the grip ocd has over you and do erp

eugeniodepalo

Date posted: 24w

@No matric certificate Yeah, I guess that’s just a hard truth to swallow. But it’s something I should do for sure if I want to ever get better… thanks for the advice

imsonocd

Date posted: 23w

Any tips on Existential OCD?

I’m really struggling with this theme because it can make me feel “fake” and it creates doubts that the world around me isn’t real or it’s a simulation? I’m really trying to expose myself but even the possibility makes me incredibly afraid. It even plays into my suicidal ocd as well and makes me afraid that my life would be miserable if this was true. I know how ocd works and I know not to fully believe that. But at the same time, I am trapped in doubt and fear. How could I possibly accept this? Will I ever see the world or life the same again? (Don’t answer that I realize that’s reassurance). Idk this theme is so ass.

Dude01

Date posted: 19w

How do you deal with "undefined" things?

So I think what's been so specifically tough for me (idk if this is what others go through with the real event stuff) is that ... Well I basically have this mental system... - Something has been dealt with -- which means it's "ok" it's "acceptable" assessment of ___. Rumination to "problem solve" with the intrusive thought. - CONSTANT inquiries to Challenge that previous assessment conclusion i.e. "no that hasn't actually been deal with, you didn't think about ____ or this other angle or this other new thing related to it" etc. Idk how tf you fix that with ERP? Idk up from down at this point Is the "system" OCD? Should people not try to problem solve (even though it's actually rumination)? Should I not engage with the "challenges?" HOW TF does Peace of Mind actually happen when the answers seem to be "you must be delusional" or "you must leave (significant) things un-dealt with / open ended" Like, what's that actual solution here? Hopefully this made sense. Thanks

Real Events OCD

anonymousgg

Date posted: 12w

Confused about "accepting" thoughts for ERP

I've been told a lot that in order to get better, we need to tolerate uncertainty, which yea I get that and I'm trying every day more and more to reach that point!! But I've also been told that we need to tolerate uncertainty AND "our worst fears becoming true". Like how does that work, especially with POCD, OCD about a///ault, SA and all of that? Like that is really difficult for me and I don't really understand how I'm supposed to just shrug stuff like that off

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond

Double standards for certainty?

Related posts

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Be a part of the largest OCD Community