helpmeeee_
- Date posted
- 24w
can anyone give me advice in comments?
i need advice but long posts usually scare people away
Someone99Someone99
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 24w
Advice about what?
helpmeeee_helpmeeee_
- Date posted
- 24w
@Someone99 TRIGGER WARNING; ROCD struggles I have a girlfriend of 5 years. I have been struggling with these thoughts since early February when our anniversary came up which I guess was the trigger, but this isn’t the first time I have had ROCD. I’ve had ROCD several times. I have been wondering if I’m attracted to her, if I was ever attracted to her, etc; but the thing that is tripping me up is these feelings feel so genuine and real, when I ask myself if I am attracted or not the anxiety completely goes away and it feels genuine like I know the answer to my question. I have had these thoughts before (like genuinely asking myself these questions I think?) but I sort of ignored them. Everytime I talk about this the anxiety goes away as if I know the truth. But I love her. I truly do love her, but I’m scared I was never attracted to her. I’m begging myself to just be attracted to her just begging myself. It has made things harder; like holding her hand etc because my thought process is “if I’m not attracted to her I can’t hold her hand because I’m using her”. Basically, I feel like I’m using her because I feel like I’m not attracted so I have avoided any kind of gestures like holding her hand. What do I do? These feelings feel genuine and real so I don’t know.
Someone99Someone99
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 24w
@vaIentine So you're describing a lack of physical attraction? Since early Feb was only a few weeks compared to the 5 years you've had together already. In the scope of a long term relationship, these attractions will change, that's when we learn what love really is. What do you do? Only you know the answer to that. What level of commitment do you have? Do you live together? All these things are important because she is a valuable human being, so communicate openly. Allow her in to your struggle at the moment. I've been married 32 years, lots of stuff happens, in the end it's a choice, do we work together as one, or not.
helpmeeee_helpmeeee_
- Date posted
- 24w
@Someone99 I have had these thoughts before, because of that I’m worried it isn’t ROCD as I had these thoughts before OCD really kicked in for me. As far as level of commitment I don’t know. It’s hard for me to know because of how I’m feeling, but I used to picture us being married and doing simple things for her like cooking in the kitchen together, etc. I’m hesitant to tell her how I feel in the case it’s true, but at the same time I know that’s selfish. I’m nervous and numb right now so I do not know how I feel, I can’t answer. I almost broke up with her because I had a moment of absolute numbness during an argument. I don’t know if it’s because of how I have been feeling these passed few weeks but I am scared.
Someone99Someone99
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 24w
@vaIentine What about you. How was your family life growing up? Can you identify any insecurities or pain from the past that may need healing? OCD actually caused us to act, actually react to situations. It's actually a lymbic response, like when someone throws a ball at your face and you block it without even thinking about it, that's the lymbic system in action. I get extremely reactive when I'm in an OCD crisis, that's my number one red flag that I need help. Maybe emotionally you're reacting to something, as a means of protecting yourself?
helpmeeee_helpmeeee_
- Date posted
- 24w
@Someone99 I do have a lot of healing to do. I want to move on from this worry but my mind is stuck on the “what if I was never attracted” part, and if after I do heal I do feel attracted, then I’ll wonder if the first 5 years was just a lie and etc etc. Even if I do feel attracted after healing I would still have to address the first 5 years.
Someone99Someone99
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 24w
@vaIentine The first 5 years were wonderful memories. You can't change them. You can make a better tomorrow.
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Gmoki
- Date posted
- 17w
I need advice :( vent post/does anyone relate?
First off - I’m sorry, I post here a lot. My thoughts are going to be scattered because I have the adhd/ocd/executive dysfunction wombo combo. Im so embarrassed I am THIS neurodivergent. I swear my brain couldn’t pick one struggle and settle with it. I’m not making these diagnoses quirky personality traits by any means, in fact, in this post im venting about how exhausting and embarassed I am living with a brain like this on the daily. I need to hear someone’s advice please. I love hearing everyone’s advice on posts because it’s so useful, and brings me back down to reality. Everyone on here gives advice so tastefully in a way where it doesn’t feed into the self reassurance compulsion, but it’s also been thorough and constructive enough where it’s reminded me to ground myself in a healthy way. I love seeing others helping others, it soothes me. This community has been so kind, and I’m so happy I found it. I wish I could ask more, but I have so many questions I think it’d drive everyone here crazy lol. I am doing erp therapy now, and it’s been teaching me so many amazing techniques. I’ve been making progress. However, I sometimes have my moments of vunerablity. I’ve been experiencing this especially now more than ever because I am going through a breakup. He did it through text after nearly 9 months together. I’d do anything for him and love him through anything, and he broke my heart when I least expected it. I’d make his bed for him multiple times, but I haven’t done that for myself in years. I’d sit with him for hours to watch and do anything he likes, but he’d never do the same and I’d never do the same for me. I’m also at fault because I was too scared to speak up so I let a lot of disrespect slide. Why did my ocd do that? Why does ocd make me people please even when I don’t want to? Why does OCD make me care so much about things that will never effect me (like wanting validation from a random person on the street and hoping they’ll think I’m pretty enough to look at), but then when it comes to my future or positive wellbeing (like focusing on college/doing well in classes/personal hygiene/health), forces me to not care/neglect myself and those needs? I don’t understand it. Ocd makes me think everything’s a setup or a trap. I can never believe that I am fine right where I want to be. Why am I so hard on myself? Why do I even think this much? I care and feel so deeply but it becomes unhealthy so fast because ocd makes me fixate and I stay there for a while. For some reason I let this breakup define my self worth. I let it topple into the ocd fear that I will never make it in life - that I won’t be successful, I’ll never get the career I want, the love I want, or the life I want. My OCD’s version of “logic” isn’t even logical. Yes, I understand how the breakup means feelings of low self worth which will then topple into feeling bad about other things. But why has my brain been wired to think this way? Why does it seem so easy for everyone else to function normally with life but not me? Honestly this is the first time in my life where I’m dedicated to focusing on myself and learning more about myself instead of others in my life and it’s a very odd and bizarre feeling. I’m excited of course, but I’m also scared. My ocd makes me ruminate like “what if I will never make the most of this life I’ve been given”, “what if I truly have no worth and the most I will ever be in other people’s lives is a background character”, “why do I care if I’m a background character or not? I should feel guilty and ignorant for assuming everyone will automatically like me”, “are people lying to me when they call me pretty, smart or kind?”, “I need to look and sound perfect in both pictures, videos and in real life. I will never be satisfied for accepting who I am now”, and a bunch of other annoying questions. But sometimes it’s like I just can’t take the reality for what it is but at the same time, but I also acknowledge that I know this is ocd talking. This is so, so difficult. Do I make any sense with what I’m saying? Can anyone help?
Anonimus ME 🦋
- Date posted
- 13w
Why? Is anyone here?
why doesn't anyone want to read my post and say something?
Anonymousssssss
- Date posted
- 7w
Can I talk to someone?
I have something that’s been on my mind but my post isn’t getting any interaction. Only offer advice if you’re willing to respond please!!! People have asked me in the comments to share something and I do and they never answer which makes my mental even worse
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