don’t know how much longer I can handle this

I’m really sorry you’re feeling this way. Loneliness can be so draining, especially when it feels like your connections are fading. And even though you’re trying every day, it’s still hard—I see that, and I hope you can give yourself some grace for how much effort you’re putting in. Sometimes, feelings like this feel so heavy in the moment, but they do pass. That doesn’t mean what you’re feeling right now isn’t valid—it absolutely is. I’ve struggled with this before, and I can’t say it was easy, but I was able to make some connections through work or even just in the comment sections of an OCD community app. It wasn’t instant, but little by little, those small interactions helped me feel less alone. I know this feeling is awful, and I won’t throw empty positivity at you, but I want you to know you’re not alone. Even small moments of connection—like the girl you were talking to in the game before your WiFi cut out—can remind you that there are people out there who would love to talk to you. If you ever need to vent, I’m here.

I'm so sorry. Loneliness can be so painful. It really sucks to feel like you can't connect with people when you really want to. Please know you have the NOCD community in your corner and so many of us understand firsthand what you are going through. We are here. That's really cool the plan that you have to pursue design work at home depot! Taking steps towards your values helps a lot with OCD and mental health in general. Maybe you can meet new people to connect with through networking and a new job as well! So many possibilities.