Relationship

Does Rocd make it nearly impossible to forgive your partner for anything. Whether it is big or small? My situation is so gray area where there’s something my bf did that I feel like I’m not okay with but he did this when we were first dating (not bf and gf yet). I ruminate all day about it bc I don’t want to lose him and see a future with him and I know he loves me so purely. But I also feel like I’m going against my morals here bc I do feel betrayed by what he did. I try to forgive him by diminishing my feelings and telling myself “he never did anything physical with a girl or went out with another girl while we were together” but still feel so hurt that he even messaged another girl while us dating. He’s given me an explanation and has proved how much I can trust him so I’m just completely stuck on whether I should forgive something I know I would’ve never done to him or leave him even though the only thing he’s done wrong was before us becoming official. I’ve broken up with him countless times over this situation bc I feel like I “can’t live with it” but then immediately when we break up I want him back and I kind of understand his explanation and reasoning. I don’t know what is ocd and what is my real intuition anymore. I genuinely think it’s both. Are any of you guys in the same boat?

I’ve been struggling with something that’s been really overwhelming, and I’m hoping to get some perspective from others here. I feel a lot of guilt about it, and I’m not sure if I’m alone in this experience. Lately, I’ve found myself daydreaming about romantic situations or getting caught up in ‘what if’ scenarios—where I wonder if I could develop feelings for someone else, or if someone develops feelings for me. The thing is, I’m in a relationship that I love, and I don’t want to act on these thoughts at all. What makes it even harder is that these thoughts often hyperfixate on one specific friend, and sometimes they feel entertaining or give me a dopamine rush. But then, of course, I feel even more guilty because it makes me feel like I’m betraying my boyfriend. These thoughts usually happen when I’m upset and looking for comfort, but then they morph into romantic scenarios, which makes me feel so disloyal. I’m constantly going back and forth between feeling curious or entertained by the thoughts and then feeling horrible for even allowing them to happen in the first place. I keep confessing these thoughts to my boyfriend, and he tries to be understanding. He’s just never been the type to daydream, so he doesn’t know if this is something other people experience or if it’s just me. I feel like such an awful girlfriend. Has anyone else dealt with something like this?

I was doing fine today until I asked ChatGPT if i cheated and they said it could count as emotional cheating if you are engaging in intense daydreams and looking someone up on social media to feed a fantasy about them. My partner and I already spoke about me fantasizing about this person and he said it was totally fine since it happened in my head and he has had crushes and fantasies on coworkers too. However I feel absolutely devastated and wrecked with guilt and anxiety and panic right now. I genuinely feel like a horrible horrible horrible cheater. I don’t know what to do. I have therapy scheduled for later this week but I really really need some advice right now!!! I feel like it could count as cheating since it did happen during a few weeks where i felt a bit distant from my partner and I feel like the daydreaming was excessive. I am so so scared. Do I confess? Do I tell him I cheated? He already told me once that cheating is a physical interaction (and I literally have not interacted with this person outside of surface level responses in a group server that my partner is also a part of). Do I have a moral obligation to tell him I cheated? I need to know.