So recently i had really obsessive thoughts about something and once i got over it i kept bringing back more stuff to make myself feel like a bad person. Why am i doing this? Why do i need to look for something else to burden someone with once they have forgiven me
This is such a classic OCD trick. Once we deal with one theme, it finds a new one. That's just how it works. Strangely, once we accept that this is how it works, it gets easier. Acceptance is the key here, as painful as it might initially seem and feel.
@OCD Helping Hand thank you!!
OCD only wins if you are going to keep doing compulsions. If you get over something, what is there to compulse about? Nothing. So, OCD needs to fabricate more "what if" thoughts or images or urges to get you to do more compulsions. The problem lies not in the item generation, but in the reaction. If you know OCD will just do this, can you accept that and move on, or must you investigate everything that OCD throws at you, just in case? I hope it will be the former, and not the latter. And, if you need help with that, click the therapy button on the app and we would be happy to assist.
OCD can and does change what it focuses on. I've experienced that too where for a period of time I'm obsessed with one thing, and that dies down but OCD latches onto another topic instead. It's not that you are looking for things to focus on... OCD is. That's the underlying issue. Through ERP therapy I have learned how to work with many different types of OCD themes I experience. It's always the same cycle of doubt and uncertainty underneath the topic on the surface.
A good life, success, healing, beautiful things? ⚠️ Important: please don’t read if this is triggering. No one should think this way about themselves, of course you deserve it all. I struggle with real events and harm OCD. My worst fear is being a bad person, causing harm or doing the wrong thing. These thoughts haunt me all the time and cause me to essentially throw my life away. I don’t go out, pursue opportunities, etc. because what if I don’t deserve them? I think of the worst things I’ve ever done all the time. The things that I’m most ashamed of. Like a broken record that’s all I replay in my head. Doesn’t matter if it was 5 or 10 years ago. And I beat myself up for not doing better. And I just don’t know how to move past it. I’ve read a lot of quotes and books about self help and love and acceptance (e.g. once you know better, do better). But for me I feel like I have to hate myself forever. I won’t ever get a clean slate, there’s a permanent stain on my record. I just can’t forgive myself, whether other people know it or not, I can’t allow myself to move forward. It’s about integrity for me. Does anyone relate? How do you do it? I’m so sorry if you’re also struggling. I don’t wish this for anyone. Please keep fighting, you’re not alone. ❤️
I have made multiple mistakes in my past that lead me to believe im a bad person. thinking about them often sends me into a panic attack. i cant help but feel i need to be punished. i hate this feeling, what should i do?
Everyday I wake up, all my mind makes me think of is the stuff I’ve done in the past, like all day I’m in a constant cycle of judging who I used to be and it hurts so so much. I wish I never thought to do those things, I wish I had been more mature than how I was before, it’s really lowering my self worth and I don’t think I’ve ever felt this miserable before, like last summer was the worst because I was dealing with this shit, I about almost ended my life over it, and I thought it would get better, which it did, but it didn’t last but for a while. As soon as it became 2025 I was going through it again, having constant cycles of “I’m a good person” to “I’m the worst person imaginable” and I’m so sick of it because I just want to feel like the good person l like to imagine myself to be, but I can’t because of shit I did in the past that I obsess over. I’ve cried and screamed so much over it and it seems like it will never leave me.
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond
