- Date posted
- 21w
Confessing things i don’t need to
I understand trying to find comfort in your thoughts but what can i do if i can’t keep these thoughts to myself sometimes?
I understand trying to find comfort in your thoughts but what can i do if i can’t keep these thoughts to myself sometimes?
I have a lot of trouble with this too. Journaling helps some people, like Annie mentioned, but for me, it makes things worse because I end up remembering what I wanted to confess every time I open my journal lol. I find it easiest to delay the compulsion, even if just for a few minutes. It also helps to refocus on the present moment (maybe watch tv or do something engaging), almost like a subtle distraction, so that you don’t ruminate about the urge to confess and it feels less urgent. I also found it really helpful to ask my boyfriend not to let me confess and to force myself to start my sentences with “I want to confess.” He would then say, “No, do not confess,” which would stop me or at least delay me a little longer, making it much easier to resist. If you really, really feel the need to confess, try to be vague, super vague. You don’t have to give every single detail, even though that’s what the compulsion wants. If you’re going to confess, keep it vague. But don’t rely on that too often, because it can easily turn into more details and spiral out of control, trust me. I hope this helps.
@issphra 🫶🏻 thanks so much!!!
I like the suggestion of having someone help you be accountable. It’s so nice to have that support.
Sometimes I find journaling helpful
Try to ground yourself by asking yourself what the purpose of confessing is. What reassurance are you seeking? Does confessing over and over actually help, or does the urge keep coming back?
What would keep you from keeping them to yourself? Do some just seem so difficult to deal with that you feel a compulsion to tell them to others? This is a slippery slope, as OCD can learn to bring all of the thoughts or images or urges up to that level and then make it seem even more difficult to deal with. Also, I like to question the use of the word can't. If it truly is that you can't keep them to yourself, then I fear that nothing can be done about them. However, if you won't keep them to yourself because of how overwhelming they seem, that can be helped. So, can't you or won't you is a very important question. OCD says you can't, but I never believe OCD.
If confessing is a problem for you, try not confessing for one day, then a week, see how that goes. Please contact NOCD and ask your questions. There are also lots of good tips on the Patrick McGrath Wednesday night webinar on the NOCD page on YouTube. Or really any NOCD webinar can be helpful. Go ahead and check out some of the videos. In addition you can contact NOCD for a free 15 minute call to discuss further. They can offer more detail than I can here. https://www.treatmyocd.com/about-us/contact-us
I feel like I need to confess everything to my wife. This week it’s gotten me in a lot of trouble, there’s more I feel I need to confess but I know it’ll hurt her. How do I just not!
I actually didn't realise this til now because I just assumed it was a coping mechanism from when I was really young. But when I tend to get stressed out or overwhelmed, I'll often start talking out loud to myself (which mostly means just whispering to myself because if i spoke really loudly, my mom would hear me lol). But nowadays with my fear of being surveilled, I keep having to catch myself because it's such a habit at this point for me to whisper out loud. Especially with me trying to reason through my false memories or really bad intrusive thoughts. Another compulsion. And then I keep thinking omg did I have my phone with me when I said that. Is anyone watching me rn? What if this person (that probably doesn't even exist) thinks my thoughts are true? What would everyone else think? And then I spiral afterwards. It sucks because I feel like I'm policing myself even when I know these are all just things I'm saying out loud and they don't mean anything— they're just thoughts after all. But I have this worry that if someone overheard me or all of this was suddenly revealed, that it might change how people see me or people might hate me or think i'm a bad person. And then I worry about me being worried about that because then I ask myself would a good person be worried about this? Anyways, another long post with me waffling and rambling. Thank you for taking the time to read this ❤️🩹
Why why WHY do I feel the need to constantly overshare?! It’s making me feel guilty af! If my boyfriend tells me something in confidence but my ocd twists what’s said into some crazy big problem I feel the need to run to my mom for reassurance, it’s getting to the point where he doesn’t trust me not to talk about stuff and I don’t want him to feel like that obviously!! But it’s like I can’t stop! Does anyone else have that? How do you stop it?
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