- Date posted
- 4w ago
Confessing things i don’t need to
I understand trying to find comfort in your thoughts but what can i do if i can’t keep these thoughts to myself sometimes?
I understand trying to find comfort in your thoughts but what can i do if i can’t keep these thoughts to myself sometimes?
I have a lot of trouble with this too. Journaling helps some people, like Annie mentioned, but for me, it makes things worse because I end up remembering what I wanted to confess every time I open my journal lol. I find it easiest to delay the compulsion, even if just for a few minutes. It also helps to refocus on the present moment (maybe watch tv or do something engaging), almost like a subtle distraction, so that you don’t ruminate about the urge to confess and it feels less urgent. I also found it really helpful to ask my boyfriend not to let me confess and to force myself to start my sentences with “I want to confess.” He would then say, “No, do not confess,” which would stop me or at least delay me a little longer, making it much easier to resist. If you really, really feel the need to confess, try to be vague, super vague. You don’t have to give every single detail, even though that’s what the compulsion wants. If you’re going to confess, keep it vague. But don’t rely on that too often, because it can easily turn into more details and spiral out of control, trust me. I hope this helps.
@issphra 🫶🏻 thanks so much!!!
I like the suggestion of having someone help you be accountable. It’s so nice to have that support.
Sometimes I find journaling helpful
Try to ground yourself by asking yourself what the purpose of confessing is. What reassurance are you seeking? Does confessing over and over actually help, or does the urge keep coming back?
What would keep you from keeping them to yourself? Do some just seem so difficult to deal with that you feel a compulsion to tell them to others? This is a slippery slope, as OCD can learn to bring all of the thoughts or images or urges up to that level and then make it seem even more difficult to deal with. Also, I like to question the use of the word can't. If it truly is that you can't keep them to yourself, then I fear that nothing can be done about them. However, if you won't keep them to yourself because of how overwhelming they seem, that can be helped. So, can't you or won't you is a very important question. OCD says you can't, but I never believe OCD.
If confessing is a problem for you, try not confessing for one day, then a week, see how that goes. Please contact NOCD and ask your questions. There are also lots of good tips on the Patrick McGrath Wednesday night webinar on the NOCD page on YouTube. Or really any NOCD webinar can be helpful. Go ahead and check out some of the videos. In addition you can contact NOCD for a free 15 minute call to discuss further. They can offer more detail than I can here. https://www.treatmyocd.com/about-us/contact-us
I have a lot of thoughts about the universe, and they’re overwhelming—like being caught in a rip current, except it’s all inside my head. Most of the time, they’re about how small we are, how there really isn’t a “we” because our bodies aren’t truly ours—we’re just bacteria, cells, and microbes. The thoughts spiral, deeper and deeper, smaller and smaller, coiling until suddenly, I’m pulled under, drowning in a whirlpool. I’ve never felt like this before, and I’m convinced I’ve been faking it somehow. For the past few weeks, my OCD has been worse than it’s ever been in my 20 years of life. Or maybe I’m just more aware of it now. Has anyone else had their OCD suddenly get really bad? Does it ever end—if it even can? I’ve convinced myself that my intrusive thoughts aren’t actually intrusive, that my OCD is a choice, and that everything I do is intentional. As for compulsions, I don’t have the typical “If I don’t do ____ then ____ will happen” kind of thoughts. Instead, my brain simply commands, “Do ____,” and I always give in. It’s so loud in my head, and I can’t shake the feeling that I’m an imposter. Like I don’t belong here—like my presence on this app is an intrusion, invalidating everyone else’s struggles just by downloading it and daring to post. If anyone feels that way, if you think I’m intruding, I’m sorry. I only came here because I have no one to share my diagnosis with. Pouring my thoughts out, hoping someone might understand, feels less suffocating than journaling. Journaling is like letting a wound fester—each word burying the thoughts deeper, leaving them to decay in silence, for nobody to ever read but myself.
I struggle so bad with intrusive thoughts. They can be so bad that I'll cry because I KNOW that's not how I feel or want to do. (Too embarrassed to say what they're about) I'll constantly try to figure out why I have them, and constantly figure out what they mean, causing me to constantly circle around and around. I had to get on anxeity meds, which helped a little but the thoughts still happen. How do you help yourself with this? How do you know that you're just not some physcopath? 😅
Does confessing an intrusive thought just make it come back stronger?
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