- Date posted
- 31w
Confessing things i don’t need to
I understand trying to find comfort in your thoughts but what can i do if i can’t keep these thoughts to myself sometimes?
I understand trying to find comfort in your thoughts but what can i do if i can’t keep these thoughts to myself sometimes?
I have a lot of trouble with this too. Journaling helps some people, like Annie mentioned, but for me, it makes things worse because I end up remembering what I wanted to confess every time I open my journal lol. I find it easiest to delay the compulsion, even if just for a few minutes. It also helps to refocus on the present moment (maybe watch tv or do something engaging), almost like a subtle distraction, so that you don’t ruminate about the urge to confess and it feels less urgent. I also found it really helpful to ask my boyfriend not to let me confess and to force myself to start my sentences with “I want to confess.” He would then say, “No, do not confess,” which would stop me or at least delay me a little longer, making it much easier to resist. If you really, really feel the need to confess, try to be vague, super vague. You don’t have to give every single detail, even though that’s what the compulsion wants. If you’re going to confess, keep it vague. But don’t rely on that too often, because it can easily turn into more details and spiral out of control, trust me. I hope this helps.
@issphra 🫶🏻 thanks so much!!!
I like the suggestion of having someone help you be accountable. It’s so nice to have that support.
Sometimes I find journaling helpful
Try to ground yourself by asking yourself what the purpose of confessing is. What reassurance are you seeking? Does confessing over and over actually help, or does the urge keep coming back?
What would keep you from keeping them to yourself? Do some just seem so difficult to deal with that you feel a compulsion to tell them to others? This is a slippery slope, as OCD can learn to bring all of the thoughts or images or urges up to that level and then make it seem even more difficult to deal with. Also, I like to question the use of the word can't. If it truly is that you can't keep them to yourself, then I fear that nothing can be done about them. However, if you won't keep them to yourself because of how overwhelming they seem, that can be helped. So, can't you or won't you is a very important question. OCD says you can't, but I never believe OCD.
If confessing is a problem for you, try not confessing for one day, then a week, see how that goes. Please contact NOCD and ask your questions. There are also lots of good tips on the Patrick McGrath Wednesday night webinar on the NOCD page on YouTube. Or really any NOCD webinar can be helpful. Go ahead and check out some of the videos. In addition you can contact NOCD for a free 15 minute call to discuss further. They can offer more detail than I can here. https://www.treatmyocd.com/about-us/contact-us
Why why WHY do I feel the need to constantly overshare?! It’s making me feel guilty af! If my boyfriend tells me something in confidence but my ocd twists what’s said into some crazy big problem I feel the need to run to my mom for reassurance, it’s getting to the point where he doesn’t trust me not to talk about stuff and I don’t want him to feel like that obviously!! But it’s like I can’t stop! Does anyone else have that? How do you stop it?
I can't stop confessing! I have this urge to dump on him every thought and wrong doing I've ever had and its destroying me! Im worried it'll destroy us too. When we started dating I stole a story from a friend to make myself look cool which was pathetic. But its the only time I remember doing anything like this.
Does anyone feel the urge to confess secrets even though they’re not yours to share? My husband told me about a traumatic event he had and trusts me to keep the secret. It has NOTHING to do with me at all. And my brain is making me feel like I need or want to tell someone. I want to be trustworthy and my brain is making me feel like I’m not because of this obsession. It’s so confusing because I know I don’t need to but I feel like I “want to” because of the OCD anxiety? And the feeling of wanting to makes me feel more anxious and like a terrible person. I have confessed literally everything to my mom about my thoughts so she’s my safe person. And I had an emotionally abusive dad (probably how I got OCD at a young age - like 8 years old) that has now passed away. So confiding in her even with intrusive thoughts and messed up shit was safe for me. Does my brain feel like I need to tell her just because she’s my safe person? I hate the feeling of me “wanting” to tell at all too and can’t tell if it’s real and it’s making me feel like a horrible person. I literally have no secrets myself. His mom knows and so do I. So I’m not the only one that knows. But why is my brain doing this? It’s spiraling me out and has been for a few days. But I want to keep the secret because it’s HIS and it doesn’t affect me in any way. I mean sure I feel bad for him - but it’s from his past before we even met? Someone please help me rationalize why I feel these things and why it’s so confusing to know if you actually “want” to do something or if it’s OCD? It’s causing a deep anxiety pit in my stomach and has been for days now.
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