ocdinglehopper
- Date posted
- 38w
Confessing thoughts
on my last post people said it’s best not to confess, but confessing keeps u in the cycle, so what do i do about guilty thoughts, telling me i need to confess? please lmk guys! 💝
AnonymityKAnonymityK
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 38w
I know how overwhelming that urge to confess can feel, especially when guilt kicks in. The key is to sit with the distress instead of giving in to the compulsion. when the guilty thought pops up like ‘I have to confess or I’m a bad person’, instead of arguing with it or trying to push it away, just acknowledge it for what it is: an intrusive thought. You can say to yourself, ‘I notice I’m having the thought that I need to confess.’ This helps create some distance between you and the thought, rather than automatically believing it. Then, allow the discomfort to be there without reacting. This doesn’t mean liking the feeling—it just means accepting that, for now, guilt is present. Try to shift your focus to something else, like watching a show, going for a walk, or even just sitting still and reminding yourself, ‘I don’t need to act on this feeling.’ The more you do this, the more your brain learns that you don’t have to respond to guilt with confession, and over time, the urge weakens.
ocdinglehopperocdinglehopper
- Date posted
- 38w
@AnonymityK so it’s just better to not confess? because it gets really bad with intrusive feelings (false attraction)?
AnonymityKAnonymityK
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 38w
@ocdinglehopper - Yes, the more we try to relieve the stress caused by these thoughts—like by confessing—the worse it gets, and the louder the intrusive feelings become.
ocdinglehopperocdinglehopper
- Date posted
- 38w
@AnonymityK okay, but wait about false feelings, it’s happening with someone, i used to talk to, and idk if i was ever attracted to him, and i get Like hyper fixated on dudes and i think i want them? when i don’t? and i’ll keep going back to them and everything, but the minute they ask for something i don’t want it? and now the false attraction is happening and i’m worried it’s happening w another dude i like? And what not? but idk. and that, it makes my false attraction true feelings, because it’s the same thing happening like since i was hyper fixated on false attraction guy, it’s the same as me liking New guy? so what do i do. do i not believe the current guy is false attraction or what?
AnonymityKAnonymityK
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 38w
@ocdinglehopper - OCD makes you doubt your feelings and try to find answers where there aren’t any. It’s normal to get stuck in patterns like this, but just because it feels the same doesn’t mean it means the same thing. The more you try to figure it out, the harder it gets. We’ll never know for sure, and part of dealing with OCD is learning to sit with that uncertainty. Maybe you don’t feel attracted to this person anymore, or maybe OCD is making you question it. Either way, it’s important to make decisions based on what really matters to you, not on anxiety. Maybe wait until the anxiety fades before making any choices. Are you working with a therapist who helps with OCD?
ocdinglehopperocdinglehopper
- Date posted
- 38w
@AnonymityK no i’m not, and no i definitely know i’m not attracted to him anymore, he like genuinely grosses me out, i’m sure of it but it’s like sometimes my anxiety gets bad, and i do wonder or question it, but no ik im definitely not, and i do just get hyperfixated on dudes, and i don’t really develop crushes
ocdinglehopperocdinglehopper
- Date posted
- 38w
@AnonymityK because in the past, i never missed him, never wanted to be w him, and i cried once bc i’m emotional, when he made me feel terrible. but once the rush runs out, I don’t care anymore, or want anything to do with him, and now i don’t want anything to do with him. it’s just intrusive thoughts
AnonymityKAnonymityK
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 38w
@ocdinglehopper - Okay, I get you! Sorry for misunderstanding what the intrusive thoughts were about. I actually had a similar issue when I was single, and it wasn’t until I sought out therapy that I realized it was tied to some of my past trauma. I’m not saying that’s your case, but a therapist can help you sort through it. Sorry if I mentioned therapy a lot, but it literally saved my life, and I truly believe it can help others too.
ocdinglehopperocdinglehopper
- Date posted
- 38w
@AnonymityK like erp therapy or what
AnonymityKAnonymityK
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 38w
@ocdinglehopper I went to a ERP therapist, actually with NOCD. She helped me with my OCD diagnosis and also helped me with the trauma.
ocdinglehopperocdinglehopper
- Date posted
- 38w
@AnonymityK oh okay thank you
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issphra 🫶🏻
- Date posted
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Confessing, please help
I’ve always struggled a lot with confessing. It’s my worst compulsion. My bf has always been really understanding and can usually see the OCD in it more than I can. He’s always grounded me and helped me see the distortion or the OCD. Lately it hasn’t been that way, he takes my confessions out of the context of the OCD. Takes offense. Gets upset, and angry. He’ll say things like “Who says something like that? Why would you say that?” I can’t ask him not to react, that’s not fair, but I’m feeling like a monster is this is only making me want to confess more because every time I do I get a terrible reaction from him and it feels like it just confirms whatever it was was awful. It doesn’t feel like I’m overthinking or getting stuck on a technical truth or just having ocd distort something. It feels like I’m truly a monster. I can’t even defend myself because I can’t tell if it’s really OCD or just me having a bad thought I agree with. I feel scared. He’s never reacted badly like this and it’s happened multiple times now. I know it’s not fair to keep confessing but I’m genuinely struggling and scared. I don’t know what to do, I can’t just write it down or something. That makes it more real. Materializing the confession makes me more likely to confess.
swirlycurly
- Date posted
- 8w
Confession compulsion
I have this intense urge to need to confess something about my past to my boyfriend. We’ve been dating almost two years and when we first started talking, I had told him about my past. I cannot fully remember everything I told him, as it was a while ago. One time I remembered something that I didn’t tell him and confessed because I felt so guilty. This was something that I actually didn’t tell him because I had forgotten about it. I am having a similar situation now where I told him about this person, but I don’t think I went into detail (I don’t remember if I did or didn’t), but I have a memory of me telling him I didn’t want to go into details about it and him saying that’s okay (I don’t fully know if this is a real memory or fake one). I now have been obsessing over this situation from my past and feel like I need to confess or else I’m a bad girlfriend, but at the same time he told me that if I remember something I don’t need to tell him unless I really can’t help it. He also said that he’s not upset about my past and I’m the one who needs to forgive myself, which I know he is right about but I don’t know how to do that without feeling like I need to confess. Any tips on how to manage these thoughts and how to stop confession compulsions?
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