- Date posted
- 24w
Confessing thoughts
on my last post people said it’s best not to confess, but confessing keeps u in the cycle, so what do i do about guilty thoughts, telling me i need to confess? please lmk guys! 💝
on my last post people said it’s best not to confess, but confessing keeps u in the cycle, so what do i do about guilty thoughts, telling me i need to confess? please lmk guys! 💝
I know how overwhelming that urge to confess can feel, especially when guilt kicks in. The key is to sit with the distress instead of giving in to the compulsion. when the guilty thought pops up like ‘I have to confess or I’m a bad person’, instead of arguing with it or trying to push it away, just acknowledge it for what it is: an intrusive thought. You can say to yourself, ‘I notice I’m having the thought that I need to confess.’ This helps create some distance between you and the thought, rather than automatically believing it. Then, allow the discomfort to be there without reacting. This doesn’t mean liking the feeling—it just means accepting that, for now, guilt is present. Try to shift your focus to something else, like watching a show, going for a walk, or even just sitting still and reminding yourself, ‘I don’t need to act on this feeling.’ The more you do this, the more your brain learns that you don’t have to respond to guilt with confession, and over time, the urge weakens.
@AnonymityK so it’s just better to not confess? because it gets really bad with intrusive feelings (false attraction)?
@ocdinglehopper - Yes, the more we try to relieve the stress caused by these thoughts—like by confessing—the worse it gets, and the louder the intrusive feelings become.
@AnonymityK okay, but wait about false feelings, it’s happening with someone, i used to talk to, and idk if i was ever attracted to him, and i get Like hyper fixated on dudes and i think i want them? when i don’t? and i’ll keep going back to them and everything, but the minute they ask for something i don’t want it? and now the false attraction is happening and i’m worried it’s happening w another dude i like? And what not? but idk. and that, it makes my false attraction true feelings, because it’s the same thing happening like since i was hyper fixated on false attraction guy, it’s the same as me liking New guy? so what do i do. do i not believe the current guy is false attraction or what?
@ocdinglehopper - OCD makes you doubt your feelings and try to find answers where there aren’t any. It’s normal to get stuck in patterns like this, but just because it feels the same doesn’t mean it means the same thing. The more you try to figure it out, the harder it gets. We’ll never know for sure, and part of dealing with OCD is learning to sit with that uncertainty. Maybe you don’t feel attracted to this person anymore, or maybe OCD is making you question it. Either way, it’s important to make decisions based on what really matters to you, not on anxiety. Maybe wait until the anxiety fades before making any choices. Are you working with a therapist who helps with OCD?
@AnonymityK no i’m not, and no i definitely know i’m not attracted to him anymore, he like genuinely grosses me out, i’m sure of it but it’s like sometimes my anxiety gets bad, and i do wonder or question it, but no ik im definitely not, and i do just get hyperfixated on dudes, and i don’t really develop crushes
@AnonymityK because in the past, i never missed him, never wanted to be w him, and i cried once bc i’m emotional, when he made me feel terrible. but once the rush runs out, I don’t care anymore, or want anything to do with him, and now i don’t want anything to do with him. it’s just intrusive thoughts
@ocdinglehopper - Okay, I get you! Sorry for misunderstanding what the intrusive thoughts were about. I actually had a similar issue when I was single, and it wasn’t until I sought out therapy that I realized it was tied to some of my past trauma. I’m not saying that’s your case, but a therapist can help you sort through it. Sorry if I mentioned therapy a lot, but it literally saved my life, and I truly believe it can help others too.
@AnonymityK like erp therapy or what
@ocdinglehopper I went to a ERP therapist, actually with NOCD. She helped me with my OCD diagnosis and also helped me with the trauma.
@AnonymityK oh okay thank you
I understand trying to find comfort in your thoughts but what can i do if i can’t keep these thoughts to myself sometimes?
This is my first post & I’m terrified. I have not been officially diagnosed w ocd yet but in a nutshell - I confessed some things I felt guilty about to my husband about five months ago. ( nothing too major ) but in our past, 20+ years ago I was unfaithful and it caused a LOT of harm, which I told him all of that back when it happened. But in recent months, I started getting consumed by guilt. I couldnt eat or sleep until I finally broke one night and told him all these recent little things I felt guilty about. Acting flirty, etc. And for him it like brought back allll the trauma from 20 years ago which I didn’t know would happen. But it’s so bad. He says he wishes I never told him. But even w that, I still feel like I keep thinking of “new things “ I did in the past, thoughts I had or dreams, or conversation w an ex,things like that. Because I am a Christian I also keep feeling like it’s the Holy Spirit telling me I haven’t told him everything and I need to. But I also know God doesn’t give us a spirit of fear .. I clearly need help, but I also want Christian based help so that it’s in line w what I believe ? I can’t eat and my anxiety is so bad again - I know if I confess more things it will keep destroying him, I don’t think he really understands or believes I have ocd. Thanks if you made it this far
I feel like I need to confess everything to my wife. This week it’s gotten me in a lot of trouble, there’s more I feel I need to confess but I know it’ll hurt her. How do I just not!
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