doesn’t feel like OCD

My intrusive thoughts really really really disturbing and I just I can’t seem to like saying maybe to them and I can’t seem to like just accept them cuz they are sexual related and abt family too. They seem so real and I know that everyone says that but it’s just I can’t take it because it feels so ridiculously real and I keep thinking what if I actually like these thoughts or want these thoughts and I’m scared. As well as intrusive urges they are really debilitating and scary on top of compulsions which hurt me in the exhausting and I don’t know what’s real anymore and my values seem to be gone why won’t my head just stop! I don’t know how to explain my fee my anxiety is through the roof and my therapist is more than ERP therapist rather than someone I can just talk too like I definitely can but she’s more of a like a an exposure therapist and I just I don’t have anyone anymore and my best friend Pet bird just passed away a few hours ago and I think that has a really big affect on how I’m feeling and I’m crying so much right now and grieving I’m scared please reply and tell me your thoughts on this.

mental Warrior

Date posted: 24w

I had really bad incest thoughts as well and to make it worse it's coupled with an existential crisis. But how I got over it honestly was ERP mixed with just spending time with said family that you are so stressed about having intrusive thoughts about. For me since they were related to my brother, I spent time with him and ignored the thoughts they will decrease with time...then set boundaries in our relationship and reframe how your brain sees your relationship with the family member. It really does get better. I hope this helps✨ you can ask me more questions if you want, I'm up for the conversation

tayanominous

Date posted: 24w

@Arya age Thanks so much I hope your doing better can I ask can intrusive thoughts extend? By that I mean I’ll get 1 thought and then I’ll get an intrusive thought abt that thought and make it worse for example “What if I kick that dog” and then the next thought would be no actually “what if u kick that dog 10 times while its owner is looking away” or something it’s really weird for me I don’t get that specific one but I didn’t wanna use triggering words like incest and things like that.

mental Warrior

Date posted: 24w

@tayanominous Yes definitely One small thought can lead to a big mess that's what I'm going through rn I had one thought that just blew out of proportion 😭. Fo you think that's what's happening rn with you?

tayanominous

Date posted: 24w

@Arya age Yes I think so like it’s all based on thought but then it branches off and makes worse by adding stuff to it ughhh so annoying

Justsurviving

Date posted: 24w

I can't seem to paste a post I just saw .i felt like typing it out for you if you havent seen it , it helped me with the same thoughts as you...it said " many people who struggle with ocd describe their intrusive thoughts or unwanted thoughts as "sticky" meaning that the thoughts linger and stick around and they have difficulty letting go of the thoughts. This is a common experience in ocd.. why intrusive thoughts stick it says: 1) ego dystonic they go against your true values and desires this makes you react to the thoughts which then convinces your brain that these thoughts are scary and dangerous , 2) fight or flight your brain send out an alarm and you can't find logic your way out of what feels like an emergency making things feel real and urgent , 3)thought-action fusion you feel like your thoughts are significant and meaningful predictions or reflections of your character ,making it harder to dismiss thoughts and increasing rumination 4)reinforcement doing something in response to an intrusive thought signals to your brain that it is a real threat ,increasing both scary thoughts and anxiety and reinforcing ocd.

tayanominous

Date posted: 24w

I’m scared does anyone else have these thoughts?

TW!!!! TW! Not talking abt SOCD in talking abt those really gross intrusive thoughts about sexual things with family ,friends, animals, random people. Mine is with family specifically my mom and I am so scared and my OCD is saying I actually want these thoughts to happen irl. I’m scared and these thoughts aren’t just the average incest thoughts there are sooo messed up it crazy, a few weeks ago I gas a thought that I was pregnant with that family member I mentioned before and I know ewwwwww wtf it’s sooo bad and I’m scared ppl will judge me for it in here or my therapist I’m so scared and it keeps adding to this thought like what it would be like if that were true and it’s sounds so crazy and gross and f****d up I feel so guilty and scared and I don’t wanna do ERP cuz I’m scared worse thoughts will come and your probably think well I can’t get worse then that but unfortunately it probably could anyways I’m sorry for ranting and pls pls reply cuz I feel rlly alone cuz I feel like no one gets THESE thoughts aghhh 😖

lu22

Date posted: 23w

Suffering a lot, need advice, have no therapy 🙁🙁

I feel like this time I can’t pick myself back up. It felt too real like I don’t even belive it wasn’t real I fully feel like it was my own feeling and I genuinely felt that. I had stabbing intrusive thoughts, I imaginined it on purpose to test my reaction and then it felt like I know how it feels to physically do that action (stab someone) and I like how it feels then I was getting these urge feelings and it felt like I wanted it and then I was imagining the thoughts again about stabbing someoneI care about multiple times and then It suddenly felt like I was really happy about the thought and almost like I really enjoyed it and realised why evil people enjoy doing these things like I felt what they felt like I’ve discovered a ‘thrill’ feeling of doing that evil thing and I can’t get over it I can’t figure out why it felt like that and now I’m thinking because it felt like I liked it and it felt good I will be curious about being evil or want to be evil to feel that feeling again and it’s really messed up and I don’t know what to do everytime I think about it it feels like there is actually something wrong with me I no longer have anxiety or feel really worried about the thoughts I feel numb and that feeling is really making me feel bad like I can’t live normally now it feels like I am actually evil now and I don’t even know if I have morals or if i would be evil or not. Normally with my thoughts no matter how real it’s felt I’ve managed to convince myself why I had a certain feeling and why it’s not real and why I’m a good person but this time it actually feels like that feeling was from me and I actually felt really happy and enjoyed or got a thrill from the idea of doing that horrible thing like I can’t even say it feels real because I’m thinking it is real I don’t know what to do 🙁🙁I’ve had ocd for a few years but don’t get anxious anymore and this feels like I’m actually bad or would want to do it because of that feeling

Anonymous

Date posted: 11w

religious OCD

Please help. I have felt so off/wrong all day. I constantly worry that the “bad guy” is going to get me. I have awful thoughts and I constantly want God to know that I don’t mean these thoughts. I am at a point in my therapy where I need to choose to use my ERP but it feels too scary. I then do compulsions, which makes the OCD worse, which makes me want to use ERP less. And the cycle goes on. I am currently sitting in my car crying because I feel so lost and exhausted. I’m not supposed to figure out my thoughts, but today I just went into a spiral of sadness and depression, thinking that I will always feel like this. When my thoughts got really bad at the end of the day, I tried to use ERP even though I was shaking and not believing my responses and I ended up feeling like I missed something and that I gave into the “bad guy.” I have no one to talk when I’m not doing therapy twice a week. I am alone and have no one to talk to when I am like this… please help

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