do u get a fear that after the intrusive feelings (false attraction) that you will Get romantic feelings after this all ends? because i do. especially bc i was hyperfixated on the guy in the past
Yes! It’s all an ocd trick,it’s not true though.
@sophia70 okay thank you, also do you know if ppl actually gain feelings after tho?
@ocdinglehopper Nope! All thoughts are intrusive and go against what you actually feel.
@sophia70 but it feels odd, because me and this dude talked in the past tho? and i think i was just super hyper fixated on him, not even a crush
Girly pls calm down. It is alright, let them thoughts be 😂 we’re all here going through the same thing : I experienced when I was 10 yo all your thoughts and intrusive feelings. So trust me when I say this. Please calm down, you’re ok
@cindyjo it’s been 11 months, and they still haven’t
@cindyjo You’re talking to someone who hasn’t recovered yet so they have no idea this isn’t true. They just need to learn that these are ocd thoughts and go against them, so they are therefore false. Calm down is a poor choice of words.
@sophia70 No worries, me and ocdinglehopper have talked before and I’ve told them things beforehand, so that’s why I used the terms I used, as if I am talking to a friend. I appreciate that you are so considerate and thoughtful tho 😊
@ocdinglehopper I know, l know, but I always wanted to have someone telling me that it’s gonna be ok because they know for a fact it will be. That’s why I am trying to be that person. Please trust because I know exactly what you are going through and because I know there is a way out
@ocdinglehopper I’ll say it once again: l understand the distress you are feeling, but you also gotta listen to that small rational voice that’s telling you there is nothing wrong with that. You could be attracted to that guy or not, you can like some aspects of him and dislike others. Your brain just decided to get hyperfixated on these things because of OCD. Now you said it yourself “false attraction” cause that’s what it is. Intrusive feelings come from the thought “I dont wanna feel that” and BOOM you feel it. Ocd is trying to make you doubt yourself, your intentions, even have you feel like you are losing control. The thing is - no need to control anything 😊
@cindyjo yeah, but it just causes me so much stress because in the past, me and him talked, and i never knew if i was attracted to him then? and i just i was just super hyper fixated on him? because i never missed him, when we quit talking and i talked to his other friends before him? and then talked to him? and idk it just bugs me now; he’s icky and gross and all this started was bc i overthought that he had nice arms, because i loveee arms it was nothing about his face or anything
@cindyjo and i’m worri d that like instead of a crush, i could get hyper fixated on him, again? and i really don’t want that
@ocdinglehopper What they do in ocd therapy is they practice uncertainty. So you could or not. (Between us, I’m pretty sure you won’t get hyperfixated) 😘
@cindyjo okay, but i mean i don’t understand why i would get hyper fixated again, if i’m having this whole big ordeal over one thought of him, and this has never happened before?
@ocdinglehopper Because it’s ocd, simple answer
@cindyjo so, im probably not gonna get hyper fixated again? even especially after this? because i didn’t even think abt the dude for like two years? and i mean we spoke one time in 2023 and after that never again? and idk why i’m overthinking this sm. i just want nothing to do w this guy
@ocdinglehopper Ocd is hyperfixated, not you
@cindyjo like in the past? back in 2022? and 2023? it was ocd making me hyperfixated? and not me? what? and like i’ve ran back to every guy i’ve ever talked to? and i’m scared i’ll do it with him? even tho i went two years without contact, and never took him seriously. at all. i would just become all consuming obsessed for 2 weeks, then randomly get so bored and hate him? then block him then just redo that over and over again
okay, so when i first started getting involved with guys, i wasnt really the nicest person when it came down to it and so, i started talking to this guy. His name in this is gonna be James well I liked this guy, and yk I was just there, I didn’t really like relationships or anything. Wasn’t big on them whatever. Well his friend Jeremy starts taking an interest into me. So I’m like why not? And go for it. And when I did he wasn’t my type at all. I wasn’t attracted to him, like maybe at the time I like had to convince myself he was attractive. And you know, he wanted to get together, this was my first sense of a relationship at all. But I didn’t fantasize about being with him or anything and like hardly thought about him also But we wasn’t together? Just talking. And he’d like talk to other girls. And just everything like that whatever. Well he got with this girl named Mallory and I like was upset. And so I homewrecked it. But when I did I was glad the attention was back? But he asked for a relationship I didn’t want it. And I homewrecked a few more times, and well then. Me and this girl became friends. I forgot about this guy for like months. And then randomly one time I was at his cousins house for an event. And he was there with a different girl. And I was just hanging out with him? I wanted him to find me attractive and what not. But I didn’t want romantically involved with him? well, then we go out of contact for a year, I meet other guys, don’t think about this dude at all. Whatever I get in a relationship with a guy and then break up, and i talked to this guy who slightly looked like jeremy and my sister brought it up. but i only talked to the guy because i wasn’t supposed to? so it made me want to more. and i thought about jeremy once, not missing him or anything still not thinking about Jeremy then I get with my current boyfriend, who I’ve been in love with for two years now? Been together 5 and our past was really horrible a lot of girls and what not guys too? But then. We get together whatever, I love it. I was always worried about other girls, if I’m in love, if this is what I want?, and everything like that, and then it was like everything I did? I’d tell him, talking to a guy, getting intrusive thoughts about them whatever. Then I get an intrusive thought about Jeremy. and it was like horrible. something about his arms? And it’s like my boyfriend told his friends. And his girlfriend found out. the same one I homewrecked my bestfriend, and then it was horrible like the past coming back, and I hated it and I avoid seeing this dude, talking to him, I’d look at him just to see if I’d get the anxiety in my stomach like I couldn’t look at pictures videos or in person without getting sick but I’d feel the need to look? For the feeling of anxiety and the sickening feeling, and I’d tell my boyfriend everytime I looked at him or anything it was horrible, well then it gets horrible, intrusive thoughts about leaving my boyfriend, or comparing him to my boyfriend, or wondering things, or that it’s feelings, and I’d just drive me crazy, like i wont get phone cases, he had or looked similar, emoji’s he used. or anything like that i wont wear his favorite color absolutely nothing. like crying on my boyfriends chest over it. And we broke up over it. The thoughts went away for the couple of hours, I didn’t think of them or anything but as soon as me and him broke up I looked at a pic of Jeremy to see how I felt then I didn’t think of anything else I just wanted to be back with my boyfriend, now we are back together and it’s still happening and the guys name just pops up if I’m like “I love my boyfriend” his name pops up. Or randomly out throught the day, I forgot about it for a little then I’m fine but I went to a therapist and she said intrusive thoughts and ocd and another said that plus anxiety but I need help. I need answers or what other people think. I’ve looked into everything I’ve puked and made myself sick over it so much it’s been a little over a month now. it’s died down after he got a buzz, and school let out. But idk what it is. and my mind constantly wants to figure out the past? and tell me that if i unblock him it will get better? idk. i think in the past it was a false crush?? or something. or i just enjoyed the validation and attention from him.. but when he called me nicknames id be like “omg!!” and freak out? like i cant rmb in a good or bad way. i didnt remember it until my friend mentioned it. please help me.
hiya, it's been a while because i was finally getting better.im a straight girl and i've been dealing with so-ocd severely for about a year now. i originally used to obsess over this one girl at my school and it was so bad and literally interfered with everything. after lots and lots of patience and avoiding compulsions i got over that false attraction and i felt myself be okay again. this year i have developed another attachment to someone, and im struggling all over again. also i thought id share that i experience friend crushes which is where you just wanna become closer to someone if that makes sense. anyways originally i was experiencing that and then my ocd keeps telling me what if its more and what if i am gay? i've completely forgot what it felt like but the thing is, it feels so real!!! i feel excited to see her and wanna be around her but everytime i freak out and obsess about the thought i could like her as more then a friend. deep down i know i don't because i don't feel any romantic feelings and i shouldn't feel such negative emotions and anxiety if it wasn't my ocd. i am so sorry for the rant but im back to square one. 😭😭
i saw a trigger in a instagram reel. i noticed the face immediately, i guess that's because she had a unique beautiful face and that's precisely what ticked me and made me alerted. and my brain started telling me that meant something, the cuteness and so on the potential danger that i felt, it seemed like a cue that something was there. and my brain started testing me with intrusive se&ual images. and im afraid that they weren't completely distasteful to my brain even though i didnt want it and i was freaking out. im afraid there might be of component of truth that makes something in my brain wrong. why did it feel like there was a potential "allure" in those intrusive images? why did it feel like i could like it? was it because the more taboo is something the more it feels "alluring" automatically? something in those se&ual intrusive images felt affine, akin, feasible to maybe my preferences? was it the association between intrusive pretty face + the intrusive image of a private area overlapping in meaning making me think that there could be some likeness? some potential attraction towards it? or is it really true and i have something in my brain that ive been in denial this whole time? maybe i'm a danger. im utterly worried abt this. why was i able to feel like there was some affinity towards those se&ual intrusive association-images? please if somebody knows, tell me, because until then i don't think i can rest in peace. and it's not a matter of uncertainty, this is something untolerable. i cant live like a guilty person and act like im innocent and that is all ocd. it feels perversed.
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond
