Anxiety about spending money

So i bought this product last year. The total for all the purchases was 68 dollars. It was a combination of 10 dollar products, 6 of them. Well they forgot one product and wouldn’t send me it/ it took awhile for them to respond and i got annoyed by that. I also thought they sent me expired products but it turns out that wasnt the case. Anyways i emailed about this gave up on trying to find a resolution and asked my bank to reverse the charge. Then i ended up feeling guilty because i found out the products WERENT expired (my OCD was going off thinking they were tampered old, or expired, but after some sleuthing i found out that wasnt the case. They just missed an item. So then i felt too guilty to use any of it. I thought of giving it away at some point and repurchasing or purchasing some similar but different to make up for it. Writing it feels a bit illogical now but… im wondering what to do. Because reversing that bank charge on all of those items seems ridiculous/wrong for only one item but it happened already, a year ago. I think my magical ocd was telling me it was wrong to use and I would taint/ negatively impact anything i used it with because of what i did… or is it guilt because i really “stole” more than they “stole” from me?

im so nervous to post this i feel like this is stupid but i feel so gross rn grew up poor, lived in a gross moldy house infested with bugs & a gaping hole in the bathroom floor. my parents did everything they could to make ends meet while also balancing taking care of my sick little brother who almost passed away twice as a baby from a rare disorder & paying for his medical expenses. i spent a pretty big chunk of my life as a kid without my parents because they were with my brother in the hospital, & after he got out i basically had to be a junior parent at very young always so scared of him dying at any moment if i take my eyes off him (i am not blaming him in any way i would do anything for him i love him so much) fast forward to now im 21 & living at home unemployed with ASD, BPD, OCD, autoimmune issues & chronic pain, my parents make way more money, we live in a pretty nice house now & they take care of all my expenses. i am incredibly thankful for everything that we have & my parents deserve everything theyve worked for, but im terrified im just some lazy spoiled little shit that wont get a life. i do everything i can to help out my parents even with my health issues, of course because i genuinely care to help them but also so i can feel "deserving" if that makes sense. always helping around the house, running errands, helping take care of my brother (whos now 17 but still needing care for his disorder on top of his own ASD & mental health issues), constantly asking if i can do anything to help out, but i just cant get this veruca salt spoiled little princess type caricature of myself that just sits around being a brat out of my head. ive been finally working at getting my first job with a side gig on ebay but im beating myself up because i think to myself "do i even need this job? other people my age get jobs to survive. i dont technically HAVE to get one, my parents pay for all my necessities, i only want to work so i can have my own life & not rely on my parents forever." sure im not some trust fund baby born into wealth, we still have to be careful with money but i have so much more than so many people & im so scared that i dont deserve it. its been killing me to the point of me compulsively searching shit all the time about rich people, how much money is too much money, how to know if you're spoiled, etc etc. im terrified people in the job world will look at me like the little spoiled bitch that had mummy & daddys money & just scoff at me- but i feel too ashamed to even talk about this because im terrified of looking like some rich kid preaching "oooh but rich people have problems toooo we're just like you guys!!!" i just dont know what to do. my ocd was horrible when i was 17 but overtime i was able to what i thought was "defeat" it, i went a while with no intrusive thoughts, but now this theme has taken over my brain. i feel disgusting.

Hey everyone, I just wanted to share something I’ve been struggling with, especially around making decisions. It’s really hard for me to feel confident in the choices I make, even when I know what the right thing is. I constantly find myself needing validation from others—whether it’s about something small or something really important. For example, at my job, I might know exactly what I’m doing and have done it right a bunch of times, but I still feel the need to double-check with someone or ask if it’s okay. It’s like this fear kicks in, and I start imagining worst-case scenarios—like what if I mess up and someone gets hurt, and then I get blamed or even end up in jail or prison. I know that sounds extreme, but these thoughts just come automatically, and they feel so real in the moment. This has been going on for maybe a year or two now. Even outside of work, the same thing happens. Like recently, I’ve been trying to figure out a gym schedule—my girlfriend wants to go with me, and I’m trying to plan the times and make it all work. But instead of just choosing what works best for me, I overthink it. I go back and forth in my head, and I ask other people what they think, even though deep down I know this is something I should be deciding for myself. It’s my life, but I still need that reassurance from others, and I don’t really know why. It’s exhausting to always doubt myself and to feel like one wrong choice could lead to something terrible. I’m trying to work through it, but I just wanted to put it out there and see if anyone else deals with this or has advice. Thanks for reading.