I’m Tara, an OCD Specialist. Tell me how I can help you right now. Ask me Anything!

The fact that you're noticing the thoughts are in the background, and still not checking, is actually a pretty great start. Have you heard that phrase "what you resist persists"? The more we try and push away intrusive thoughts and worries, the more powerful and loud they tend to get. Acknowledging ruminating thoughts for what they are and letting them play out, without engaging with them, is a powerful strategy in fighting OCD. An ERP specialist can help guide you through this process. Here's some resources on this topic, if you want to check them out! http://treatmyocd.com/blog/5-strategies-for-breaking-the-cycle-of-rumination https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UXIllLvRUZE

@NOCD Therapist - Tara W. How do you let them play out without engaging.....I think this is the part I have the hardest time with. Lately I've been trying to let mine play out but they make me physically uncomfortable. I either get nauseous or groinals that cause literal rage.

Hi 3xDisorders! It can be so easy to fall into a rumination trap with a theme like real event OCD. I appreciate you reaching out for support with this. Memories are so tricky. I like to think that my memory is reliable, like a perfectly organized filing cabinet. Part of me believes I *should* be able to open up the cabinet and rummage through, retrieving whatever memory I want with perfect recall. Unfortunately, memory just doesn't work that way. OCD would like to have us think perfect recall is possible, and tempts us with the promise that if we ruminate enough, we *will* remember an event perfectly, or remember whether or not some event did or didn't happen with 100% certainty. Buying into this idea can keep a person stuck in a rumination cycle. We can break that cycle by learning to accept that we may never find certainty, no matter how hard we try. An OCD & ERP therapist can help you create exposures that target your worries, and guide you through the process of sitting with all the discomfort that comes up when you lean into uncertainty. It's not easy, but with practice it gets easier, and eventually can feel pretty freeing. If you're not in treatment and would like to learn more about ERP, you can book a free 15 minute call with the care team through the home page of this app :) Here are some resources you may find helpful! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_EEriK-0VGk&list=PLJwbxpxualYpcX3SPEgNVbTEOI7gXeA5x https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/real-events-ocd

First off, know that you are not alone. Even just on this thread I'm seeing that someone else is struggling with a similar concern. This question - how do I know if my memories are real - is very common in OCD. So far, I don't know anyone who has been able to answer it (which is why OCD loves to latch onto it!) If you want to learn more, here's a video that touches on this topic - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_EEriK-0VGk&list=PLJwbxpxualYpcX3SPEgNVbTEOI7gXeA5x

Health can be such a tough one to tolerate certainty around. Memories, too. I think it can be helpful here to define what we mean by "tolerate." Tolerate doesn't have to mean that you like the idea of uncertainty around health or memories. Accepting this truth, that we may never find total certainty when it comes to these questions, is quite uncomfortable and challenging for most people. Maybe tolerating, in this case, can just mean accepting the discomfort and making space for it. ERP is very helpful for building up tolerance to discomfort and challenging OCD's doubts. Here's a great article that talks about this more - https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/why-cant-i-tolerate-uncertainty

Hi! So, if you haven't already, the first best step is getting care with an OCD & ERP specialist. Until then, it's tough to say exactly where you should start, since everyones OCD is a little different. If you aren't working with an ERP therapist and are interested in learning more about treatment, you can schedule a 15 minute call with the care team here. In the meantime, I'm a big fan of the SOS feature. That's the purple life raft on the bottom right corner of the screen. Follow the instructions that come up best you can, and select "therapist guided." There, you'll see several recordings for different OCD themes. Here's some articles that may help as well! https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/responsibility-ocd-what-is-it-and-what-can-you-do-about-it https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/contamination-ocd-fear-of-germs

This sounds so tough, I can hear how loud and distressing OCD is being. I'm sorry OCD is getting in the way of you enjoying time with your children. I'm glad you're reaching out for help. I would highly recommend seeking ERP treatment if you haven't already. We have a support group at NOCD for individuals in treatment specifically for parents with OCD, and it's because so many parents struggle with thoughts just like the ones you're describing. Here are some resources that may be helpful - https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/common-struggles-for-parents-of-children-with-ocd https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L8ACsoGuOvY

That's wonderful you're working with a specialist! I understand how upsetting and bothersome intrusive thoughts like these can feel, especially after you've started seeing progress in treatment. I can tell how upsetting it's been for you to not only experience this intrusive thought, but also experience the guilt feeling that follows it. It can help to remember in these moments that intrusive thoughts, *and* our emotional response to them, are elements outside of our control. What is in our control is how we choose to respond to them. We can do a compulsion, or practice response prevention. There's a kind of therapy approach called Acceptance and Commitment therapy that pairs really well with ERP, OCD specialists will use tools from it often. In ACT, the emphasis is on allowing yourself to feel every emotion, without trying to push it away, fight it, or make meaning out of it. I’m sure you’ve already practiced some ACT skills in session, but if you’re interested in learning more about it, here’s a great article: https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/act-therapy-for-ocd Another article specifically on the topic you brought up: https://www.treatmyocd.com/what-is-ocd/common-fears/why-youre-questioning-your-attraction-to-your-partner-is-rocd-to-blame Hope these are helpful!

I hear you!! Magical Thinking can be so tough. It's pretty upsetting how OCD will pick on strengths like creativity and imagination and find a way to turn it against you. The good news is, ERP is fantastic for challenging Magical Thinking. A key word in your post is "feel". It feels like the world will end if you don't satisfy the obsessive thoughts. I'm sure you've tried to rationalize against this feeling at least a few times with no luck. Maybe other people have tried to give you reassurance, too. For some reason, it just doesn't give that lasting relief. The feeling comes back. ERP is so effective because it communicates to our "feeling brain" in ways our rational mind, and well-meaning friends, cannot. Our feeling brain learns through action. This is why exposures, paired with response prevention, are so vital in finding relief from OCD. I'm not sure if you're in ERP treatment, but if you're not, I highly recommend checking it out. You can book a free call by clicking the link on your homepage if you're interested in learning more. Here's an article on why intrusive thoughts can feel so real: https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/why-ocd-feels-so-real And a great video on magical thinking: https://youtu.be/HHrvYRJnqO0?si=z2Y68TJ9zWEOMyTs

Thank you for your vulnerability here, I'm sure so many people reading your post would relate. Health OCD can be so, so tiring, especially when it's triggered by bodily sensations that seem to come out of nowhere and intensify the more we focus on them. Here's an article that touches on this topic: https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/how-ocd-tricks-you-into-feeling-physical-sensations This theme is so common because, like everything OCD latches onto, we just can never seem to get 100% certainty when it comes to health. Maybe one day you get reassurance from a doctor about one concern, and the next day, OCD brings your attention to another possible illness or unexplainable sensation. The more OCD can keep you in doubt, and the more we buy into the idea that certainty is possible, the more likely we are to practice compulsions and keep that cycle going. It's a tough one, for sure. It's possible to get to a place where you notice worries and let them pass without engaging in them. This is a vital skill that's learned in ERP therapy through response prevention (the RP in ERP!) Here's a video that explains this process well: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=riKw294RZMw&t=63s If you're not already in ERP treatment, you can learn more about it by clicking "book a free call" on the homepage of this app :)

You'll see this statement a lot on this app, but it's worth repeating - you are not alone. I hear that you're scared, and at the same time, you want to get better. I'm not sure if you're in therapy right now, but if not, I highly recommend finding professional support, as it sounds like you're experiencing multiple challenges at once. You do deserve to feel supported and understood, we all do. If you're open to potentially getting ERP treatment here, you can book a free 15 minute call with the care team. If you're ever around for one, NOCD's live Q&As can be a great way to connect with the OCD community and hear how others are coping with all the struggles that come along with this diagnosis. There's a live Q&A every Wednesday at 8pm EST. Here's a link to a recording of a recent Q&A: https://www.youtube.com/live/zEx0YSaeFMQ?si=hxGZBJG5-zZt-C0f

@NOCD Therapist - Tara W. Thanks so much!

Hi there! I'm so glad to hear you're getting wonderful care. To answer your question, it is possible to have both diagnoses at the same time. That said, OCD and ADHD do have some symptoms in common. I'd recommend asking your providers for more information on this topic the next time you meet. Here's an article in the meantime that talks about OCD and ADHD - https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/ocd-and-adhd

Hi dad5270! I'm so sorry to hear you had this experience and are still struggling with memories from it. I imagine this must be very distressing. Have you met with a therapist about these flashbacks? That would be the best first step. In addition to ERP, NOCD offers various forms of evidence based treatment across diagnoses. If you'd like to schedule a call with the care team, you can see about getting connected with a therapist and finding support.

Hi there! OCD often brings panic attacks, anxiety, and other uncomfortable feelings. OCD & ERP specialists will generally refer to these feelings as “distress.” Distress is the main reason compulsions become habitual, because compulsions, by nature, temporarily reduce distress. The more dramatic our drop in distress as a result of a compulsion, the more likely we are to return to it next time we’re experiencing an intrusive thought/image. The problem is, we build up a tolerance to the relief found in compulsions very quickly. For example - maybe a person finds swift relief from distress after getting reassurance from their friend. Next time this person is in distress, which could be hours or even minutes later, they may need reassurance twice, or multiple people providing reassurance, or reassurance from an online search, and so on. In ERP treatment, we help you build up a tolerance to distress. Rather than trying to fight off distress through compulsions, relaxation tools, and other means of relief, ERP teaches you how to sit with feelings of discomfort, without doing compulsions. This may seem counterintuitive at first, but over time, as your tolerance to distress and uncertainty in the face of OCD strengthens, compulsions have less of a pull. Not only that, but exposures also help individuals become more confident in their ability to face OCD fears in general, without needing to do compulsions. These are just some of the elements of ERP that help break the OCD cycle. Here’s an article on panic attacks with OCD, if you’d like to learn more! https://www.treatmyocd.com/what-is-ocd/info/related-symptoms-conditions/can-intrusive-thoughts-cause-panic-attacks

I commend you for trying exposures! Are you in ERP treatment, or trying these out on your own? I'm sorry to hear you experience upsetting intrusive images, as well as all the physical sensations of anxiety and distress like nausea and feeling on edge. To answer you question, this reaction to the shower drain *can* reduce over time, with repeat exposure, provided you're not doing compulsions during or after the exposures. This article explains why this is important - https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/five-things-to-do-instead-of-compulsions This is a major reason having professional support from OCD specialists, especially as you're just getting into exposures, is so important. ERP therapists help you set intentions before the exposure about what compulsions and safety behaviors you are going to resist, and help you stick to that plan throughout the exposure in various ways. We also encourage you to lean *into* these unpleasant feelings like nausea and disgust, rather than away. This helps you build a tolerance to these feelings over time, which can allow you to live life on your own terms - rather than living in reaction to fear, worry and uncertainty. Here's an article that talks about these feelings of disgust you've described. Curious to hear your thoughts! https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/the-many-ways-ocd-can-cause-feelings-of-disgust

I hear you, somatic OCD can be very distressing. Like intrusive thoughts, the more we focus on a feeling, or worry about the threat of a certain feeling, or hope to *not* experience a feeling, the louder and more intense that feeling seems to get. As distressing as this theme can feel, there is reason to be hopeful. Somatic OCD tends to respond well to exposure and response prevention. If you're experiencing intrusive thoughts and compulsions related to OCD all day long, that means there are likely a lot of opportunities for exposures that you and your ERP therapist can take advantage of. Have you looked into treatment before? Here's an article on somatic OCD https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/what-is-somatic-ocd

Hi Brittany07. I can't imagine how distressing and scary that experience must have been, and I understand how OCD was able to latch onto that experience. I'm glad you're reaching out for help and support. So I understand what information will be most helpful for you, are you in ERP treatment at NOCD, or are you participating in a different form of therapy?

@NOCD Therapist - Tara W. Yes, I am currently undergoing intensive treatment. I have been in treatment for nearly five months now, but I continue to experience distress. While I don’t expect to completely cure this, finding relief has been challenging. I participate in ERP therapy in a group setting for three hours, three times a week. Within that three-hour group, also DBT and another component that I can't recall. Additionally, I see a psychiatrist every three weeks and meet with my therapist twice a week. We delve deeper into ERP, but I am not seeing the progress I hoped for.

@Brittany07 - Thank you for clarifying! I'm glad to hear you're already undergoing ERP treatment as well as DBT, this combination can be so helpful! I would discuss your progress concerns directly with your therapist. The two of you can have a conversation around expectations for treatment progress, and you can share any concerns you're having about how the treatment is going for you. In the meantime, here are some resources that might help with the topics you mentioned: https://www.treatmyocd.com/what-is-ocd/info/related-symptoms-conditions/illness-anxiety-disorder-vs-ocd https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/health-anxiety

Hi qcarney - I can hear how OCD has you in a spiral here, I'm so sorry it's been feeding on your relationship. You said something I want to highlight - "I am constantly getting reassurance but my brain is ruining everything it feels." This can be a very common experience with OCD. Basically, OCD wants us to be in a constant state reassurance-seeking, in some form or another. The OCD cycle runs on this desire to get reassurance and feel 100% sure about it. It's genius because - when it really comes down to it, there's no way to be 100% sure about anything, certainly not in the long term. Despite recognizing this, often there's at least some small part of us that believes certainty is out there somewhere. That if we just get reassurance one last time, we wont feel doubtful and uncomfortable anymore. OCD feeds on that part. So long as some part of us is buying into OCDs narrative, that we're just one compulsion away from feeling lasting certainty, we will keep feeding OCD with compulsions. ERP helps people struggling with OCD break this cycle. Rather than buy into OCDs narrative that certainty is possible, ERP emphasizes living in radical uncertainty. When we embrace that nothing is certain, we basically disarm OCD. Getting here can take some time, but with a steady dose of exposure and response prevention, it is possible! Has there been a time where you've noticed an urge to get reassurance, and resisted that urge? If so, what tends to happen in those cases? Here are some articles you might find helpful!: https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/why-do-i-need-constant-reassurance-relationship-rocd https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/5-strategies-for-accepting-uncertainty

Oh my goodness - as someone who used to have nearly white bleached hair - I completely understand how OCD could latch onto something like this. I really do empathize. I also understand how the statement you saw on a forum, about OCD sending false messages, didn't feel like it really hit the mark for you. In this case, it could be helpful to take some steps back and consider the larger false message OCD might be sending. Like - "it's possible to have 100% satisfaction, certainty, and control when it comes to your body." What ways does buying into a message like this contribute to the OCD cycle? Something to consider! I'm so glad you're in ERP! Way to go :) You have all the tools at your disposal to help you thought this time, like sitting with distress, radical acceptance of uncertainty, and any other skills your ERP therapist is teaching you. Here are some resources that might give some added support and insight if you want to take a look: https://www.treatmyocd.com/what-is-ocd/info/related-symptoms-conditions/how-can-i-deal-with-intrusive-thoughts-about-my-body https://youtu.be/riKw294RZMw?si=CeiyXvKcnqj4LFPH

@Tara Wight Wow, wow, wow. This just opened my eyes up — the false message is it saying it’s 100% possible to have satisfaction and control with my hair. I was even going to grow my hair out for “perfection”, until I realized I was doing it for the wrong reasons, so I wanted to continue and fight my ocd. This is so helpful!!!! I wish I could get a session with you, as well!

@mgmt - Oh I'm so happy that was helpful!! I'm glad you reached out to ask. Sometimes all it takes is another person looking at a question from their own unique angle. Speaking of - the live Q&A is tonight at 8est. If you've never joined, I highly recommend it. Most of the time, I feel like I'm just trying to do my best Dr. McGrath impression :) (he hosts all the Q&A's) - Here's the link if you want to tune in! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=alRn9-Ad-nA