How do you cope with Internet Trauma?

I find myself getting panic attacks over things that I was exposed to as a teen in my younger years and they still haunt me sometimes.

BigGyro09

Date posted: 26w

I have the very same problem. The memories don't ever go away and I don't really know what to do about them. All I can really do is find distractions throughout the day.

anxious artist

Date posted: 26w

@BigGyro09 That works too, I occasionally play video games if I’m getting anxious over my thoughts again. it’s hard though to deal with the guilt of knowing that stuff traumatized you and was unaware of it until you got older, because ocd will use it as proof that you may/may not be a bad person despite having limited knowledge about safety online.

BigGyro09

Date posted: 26w

@anxious artist I couldn't have said it better. You're exactly right about all of that. I sometimes find myself blaming myself for finding and even looking for that kind of stuff but truthfully I didn't know better and I didn't get any kind of education on that side of life. I only blame myself because it's not like anyone else showed it to me, I found all of it. It pretty much put a dent in my childhood and it made my teenage years worse than they were looking back. The hardest part is actually trying to sit with those thoughts and letting your mind just think. I tried that the other night and the worst stuff from several different things in life just kept popping up, so it's no wonder I along with other people use distractions all the time

anxious artist

Date posted: 26w

@BigGyro09 We all made regrettable mistakes during our youth and don’t even realize it till later in our adulthood years. Even if you can’t undo the past, the best thing you can do is move forward. Life will keep going either way. As long as you understand that what happened was a result of PTSD, you can still survive, there’s people out there with similar trauma to you with friends and families. A trauma therapist can help you process those emotions and help you get back on your own two feet. Don’t worry about what people say online, as it doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things. No one is perfect and experiences the same lifestyle.

BigGyro09

Date posted: 26w

@anxious artist I dunno, I think this has ruined my life in some ways. It's always those painful memories and I don't feel like I can ever truly move on from them. If I never got exposed to that stuff at that time, I feel like I would have had such a great time in high school and had an easier time making friends. I also think it's held me back from making true connections. I also think it's one of the reasons I even have OCD in the first place because that stuff influenced the way I acted when I was around that age. It just sucks overall and I hate being reminded of it over and over again. It's basically like drugs to me. I hate that I have felt helplessness against it for so long and I just wish I was never introduced to that stuff. I feel like if I wasn't, thing would have gone so much smoother in my teen years. I probably would have had an easier time making friends, anxiety wouldn't be an issue, and I probably would have had relationships as well. It just took so much from me and it's hard to really focus on anything else without the trauma aspect of these things being solved. I hate it so much.

Lulu~

Date posted: 23w

Someone please help me right now

I’m a csa survivor which made me develop hypersexuality while actually being a asexual individual. (Where I did CP and talked to groomers and sexted, ect ect) A few months ago I’ve started to heal, but the fact that I’ve seen so many private parts since I was idk, young? I imagine them everywhere, it’s really frustrating and sometimes I also get intrusive thoughts about other kids or my siblings. It’s deeply distributing but I also kind of think of it from a curious kind of aspect which I despise too. Honestly I have a hard time with any kid in underwear, my intrusive thoughts have been ALOT the last months and they’re really really overwhelming. I also easily go into overanalysing them or even trying to figure out more clearer the thoughts to “test myself”. I think, I hope. Idk it’s scary

POCD

str4berrycoo...

Date posted: 21w

how i deal with the "what ifs" (+18)

i feel like i have been posting a lot about this and i will try to stop since now but i just don't know where to start or what to do, and i can't take therapy right now either. my event is about something that did actually happen; i had a boyfriend and we had a 1.5 age difference (i know this sounds stupid) but the thing is that we both started to sext a lot since he was 14 and i was 15. we shared audios videos pictures ect and i don't know how to just let this go, even when i know that i never really forced him into anything and i was always constantly worried about him being comfortable, when to stop and ect. the memories keep coming back to my mind and the guilt is eating me up slowly because i keep thinking that i'm a predator or a groomer or something like that. i don't know how to deal with the what ifs either, lately i haven't stopped thinking what if i sexually harassed or sexually exploited him or something like that. how do i deal with the cycle of guilt and constant what ifs if i also feel like my event is worse than others i've seen? please help me with this. it's getting a lil tiring and even if somedays i know how to deal with this, i still get really triggered sometimes. this wouldn't even bother me before, i wish i could just get back in time before this theme popped into my mind. my life has been a hell since then and i live constantly scared and suicidal.

Anonymous

Date posted: 19w

Real event false memory ruining enjoyment guilt

Hi everyone, I'm struggling with what I think are intrusive thoughts, possibly related to OCD, and I'm hoping someone here might relate. When I was younger, in my early teens, I went through a period where I had a strong interest in pornography. During that time, I encountered hentai involving male characters, related to an anime I enjoyed. One of the characters was someone I even looked up to. I feel incredibly uncomfortable admitting this, but I believe I engaged in sexual activity related to it. Years later, I'm plagued by intrusive thoughts about this. I feel intense self-disgust and shame. It's like this memory has "tainted" my ability to enjoy that anime, and sometimes other things. I'm constantly replaying the situation in my mind, questioning my past actions, and worrying about what it means about me. The anxiety is significantly impacting my life. Does anyone else experience intrusive thoughts focused on past events, particularly those that cause feelings of shame or disgust? How do you cope with the constant replaying and questioning? I'm looking for support and understanding. Thank you for listening.

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How do you cope with Internet Trauma?

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