Needing SO OCD Advice

I went out last night with a couple of girlfriends. One of them is contemplating divorcing her husband bc of a drinking problem (she is straight) and made a joke about running off and joining the “lesbian island”. She then continues to say “making out with a girl is one thing” but that she could never actually BE with a woman sexually, etc. Well… this has triggered my SO OCD significantly because I’m thinking, well why does she think it’s okay to just kiss/make-out if she doesn’t identity as bisexual? I mean she is beautiful and I’ve heard all my straight friends say the same thing. So I start to worry by thinking, well I find her very attractive - does that mean I want to make out with her and see what she’s talking about? Just to note, I also identify as straight and am married. So this is just so damn frustrating and confusing. Especially bc society shows women kissing all the time on reality tv shows etc (who present themselves as straight). So now I’m having intrusive thoughts and making myself think sexual things to “check” if I’m still straight. Ughh..any advice would be greatly appreciated. And if someone could please explain why a straight woman would make such a comment - that would be very helpful.

graygoose-2

Date posted: 22w

I would say sometimes women could make those comments for the attention, since the stereotype for some is that guys think that two women making out is hot. I can understand where you get those thoughts and feelings, but I would say try to think about if you would take joy in licking another woman’s 🐱… or vice Versa. Women think other women are very attractive, but with the mindset that they are trying to compete with them or look like them. Straight women have these thoughts all the time. There’s actually a poll saying that 80% of lesb 🌽 viewers are straight women. Don’t have any shame, and if you are bi, there’s nothing you can really do about it since that’s how you feel!

Anonymous

Date posted: 22w

@graygoose-2 Thank you for replying - I actually feel better hearing from a guy’s point of view. I def have ZERO desire to lick another woman’s🐱or vice versa. I mean that’s my answer right there, but my OCD will latch on to the fact that I can find a woman physically attractive (whether that’s facially or whatever feature) and has nothing to do with me wanting to look like her or compete with her. Just me simply acknowledging the woman as attractive and it makes me start to wonder, “well does that make me bi?” Especially since I can look at a guy and be like oh he’s cute too! Know what I mean..not sure if this makes sense?

graygoose-2

Date posted: 22w

@Anonymous Yes, of course. That’s part of human nature, though! Think about it in the way of how movie stars look. During a hot sex scene, you don’t JUST look at the guy, right? Obviously, there are really really attractive women who star in movies, and it’s completely normal to look at them and think they’re attractive. It does NOT mean you’re gay, It’s just about the fact that women appreciate feminine beauty than men do, which is why we feel things like this. Don’t worry, this is a common thing!

Anonymous

Date posted: 22w

@graygoose-2 What’s the last part you were trying to say? There was a typo… You’re saying it’s just the fact that women appreciate feminine beauty MORE than men do, or LIKE men do?

Anonymous

Date posted: 22w

anyone else?

So I’ve SOOCD since I was in 8 th grade and it got really bad when I had an intrusive thought as to what if I was bi. And ever since then I’ve had self destructive behavior to where I would think the thoughts on purpose or about women and checking them out and flirting with them. ( I identify as straight) and over time these thoughts and self destructive behavior hasn’t bothered me and now they feel apart of me I know apart of it is ocd but also it’s me like me willingly looking at women and me wanting to have sexual thoughts or feel aroused and in reality if I never had ocd I would never think this way I could live without women and never sleeping with them I do have a bf and I love him and am attracted to him rn thought bc of what happened last night with a women it’s hard to feel that can anyone relate?

vaiiolyn

Date posted: 19w

Lesbian with Sexual Orientation OCD

I need too know that I'm not insane, really. I am 16 and for the past two weeks, this has been completely ruining my health and happiness. I only recently came out as a lesbian like 3 months ago after a lot of confusion about my attraction since I used to think I liked men. At first, I felt so sure that I liked women, but lately, I've been having these unwanted thoughts about the possibility of liking men. I never used to feel this way, but now, every time I look at a man, my brain obsessively fixates on it. It forces me to imagine kissing him, loving him, things I don’t want, and then tries to convince me that I do. It’s painful. The thought of this fills me with fear and anxiety, leading to panic attacks and breakdowns. I don’t want these thoughts. I hate them with every fiber of my being, but I’m terrified that one day I’ll act on them and somehow like it. I used to think I liked men, but back then, I was in a very unhealthy space in a time of escapism and something deeply parasocial. I’ve only ever liked the attention and validation a man could give me, but these experiences are somehow treated as further proof that I’m "bisexual." I’ve never been in a real relationship with anyone, which makes my brain constantly challenge me—telling me, “You don’t even know what love feels like.” It won’t shut up. It keeps obsessively trying to make me prove that I’m a lesbian, testing my reactions and questioning my certainty. Is this normal?

Masc4lesb

Date posted: 15w

LESBIAN WITH SO-OCD

hi i’m a lesbian! and i have known im a lesbian for a really long time and i have a sweet girlfriend of 1 year. it all started when i saw this masc lesbian come out as straight, after that i had my guy friend over and he’s a sweet guy and he was flirting with me (he didn’t know i was gay) im not sure but i panicked and my brain froze and i was like “do i like him”, ever since my brain has been over worked 24/7 for 2 months now and it’s spiralling constantly. im trying to control it but all these thoughts are so disgusting and my brain tries to put him and i in scenarios that make me uncomfortable and i feel panic and i hate it. i have always been comfortable being a lesbian and i still am comfortable as a lesbian, but i dislike these thoughts i have about him and men and i want it to be over. i do not want to experiment with men even tho my brain is telling me i do, i find it disgusting and i dread it, i have a sweet girlfriend and i want to be with her forever, i do not imagine anything with any men and i hate these thoughts. im scared of becoming bisexual/straight one day and i hate hearing sexuality is fluid. its a whole mix of comphet and so-ocd

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