What the HECK?

what the hell? this entire day ive been trying to do ERP right? allowing the thoughts feelings, sensations be there with very little reaction, saying"oh that's a thought", "that's a feeling" don't care" etc. But it seems to be making it 100x times worse. Like its impossible to just"ignore" it, it feels so freaking real as if this was the truth, the doubts are real, the false attraction feelings and lip sensations are REAL and genuine attraction, feels ego-synotic, its impossible just to ignore or move on from it because I think I'm so hyperfocused on it all so it last the whole day. IDK right now it feels and seems as if I lost? like its not a what if but it feels factual like"I'm naturally gay, I'm gay" and it feels like normal and become ok with that. But I don't want that I don't want to be gay.

Anonymous

Date posted: 22w

Had this real bad the other day. I know how you feel.

Anonymous

Date posted: 22w

how am i suppose to get rid of this phase?

Anonymous

Date posted: 22w

@Anonymous Idk. Im feeling a little better but I'm not entirely out of it myself. I think its just that ERP takes some time and is painful, but in the long term makes things better. Whereas sinking back into compulsions gives short term relief but keeps the whole cycle going. Hang in there. Going through the same sh*t. It sucks.

forre-tress

Date posted: 22w

i heard that when doing erp especially regularly theres a period where it gets worse before it gets better. ocd is hungry and when you dont feed it, it starts rattling the cage :( i know how it feels, some days are just going to feel impossible. keep going strong, im not great at erp but progress is a process.

r.m.1

Date posted: 22w

I feel like you may be doing ERP incorrectly. My therapist gave me rules: only do ERP when you’re stable (not spiraling) and setting time limits to avoid starting to obsess over it. Sounds like you’re trying to get ERP “just right” so the anxiety will leave you alone. Thats the complete opposite. The point of ERP is to feel the anxiety and just bring it along with you in the activities you want to do. Using “I fear…” statements can be less overwhelming when doing ERP and help with acceptance of the anxiety

Anonymous

Date posted: 22w

ok so what do i do in the spiraling phase?

r.m.1

Date posted: 21w

@Anonymous You do a lot of self care and focus on calming your nervous system. Once you do that, then you can do the ERP. So when I spiral, I go for a jog, walk, or take a bubble bath…. Anything that would be calming physically. Because you’re not going to calm your body by “fixing” your thoughts. It’s easier to act yourself into a new way of thinking than to think yourself into a new way of acting

r.m.1

Date posted: 21w

@Anonymous And sometimes you just have to cry and allow yourself to be anxious and upset about being anxious. OCD is hard. Trying not to do compulsions is hard. Sometimes you just have to feel your emotions, cry it out then go do something to calm your body

ejpwolfpack

Date posted: 18w

Seeing this post later. Feel this exact thing rn. false attraction is kicking my ass, everything feels real

What is happ...

Date posted: 16w

Questions… I don’t want reassurance just advice

I’ve tried accepting the uncertainty, I’ve accepted I may be gay, bi or still straight. I’ve tried doing ERP myself to the best I can. When I accept that I’m gay or bi why doesn’t my head agree and move on? Why does it still question it? I know I don’t want to be at all. I love my family. But I just want this to move on. I want to enjoy life. Why can’t I find women attractive again? (Brief moments I do). I seriously don’t understand the false attraction? I’ve tried agreeing with it but it won’t let this drop. Why am I attracted to the same sex? Why am I attracted to people I would never thought of looking at? Why does it give me such grief about this? I know I shouldn’t look at adult content but why can I only feel good watching either lesbian or females? I tried to agree with the gay but it makes me sick and horrendous I even considered this? I just want my life back.

Sexual Orientation OCD

Anonymous

Date posted: 14w

Recovery not working

so right now my HOCD feels EXTREMELY LOUD AND STRONG, ive been trying nonstop today stating how im allowing to feel all the thoughts and feelings and let them be here for as long as they want and not figure it out, engage with it, just allowing it to be here all day long if it wants, and it has, but the EXTREME hyperfocus is there and it feels so real and feels so loud and strong that im focusing on it and trying to move on to others but cant. Ive been trying say only once that"Its just my OCD, these thoguths feelings, sensations and doubts are not me, im going to allow it to stay here as long as it can" but that doesnt work, its like as if im full of shit and i know it. ive been trying to just saying"oh well" or "cool" not caring, but im still hyperfocus on it, wtf?

Anonymous

Date posted: 13w

I feel screwed

so its been three days now its it really bad, Im trying to just "tolerate and allow the feelings to be here for as long as it wants," not fixing it, not figuring it out, just allowing it to be a cloud raining on me while im doing my thing, but it doesnt work!! It gives me these intesne, loud, real feeelings that make me feel like i am gay and that I just need to accept it. Like its the hyperfocusing that I cant control that makes me focus on the feelings when im trying to do something else, allowing it to be there but still doing my own thing however Im still paying attention to the feeling, and the thoughts feel intense, and its like this ALLLL DAY, for three days straight. I dont know what to do anymore, because ERP doesnt seem to be working.

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What the HECK?

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