I cannot tell whether I have POCD

I have been suffering this for about 3 weeks now and its absolutely unbearable, I want to state more explicit details about this but I dont want to distress others, all I can say is I am experiencing this weird feeling in my groin and an urge to masturbate and its horrifying me. I already am diagnosed with anxiety but it pales in comparison with what is happening with me. I had no interest in children at all before this but now I am experiencing doubt and uncertainty. I have already cried 5 times today, this is the most awful thing I have ever experienced. I am only 20 years old and its both physically, and emotionally destroying me

issphra 🫶🏻

Date posted: 22w

POCD, the masturbation thing is a compulsion. You probably want to see if you’re still normal, to prove you’re not attracted to children, possible check if you feel anything remotely normal *when* masturbating to these thoughts. And even check if it *is* possible for you to masturbate to these thoughts. It’s a compulsion that will only backfire so try to refrain from doing it. If it happens, please don’t beat yourself up. It a common compulsion is what I’m learning. Some slight reassurance: No p do cries over attraction to children, they cry of the stigma and shame that comes with it. They don’t doubt, they know they’re attracted with certainty. I strong believe everything you wrote in your post aligns with POCD. You’re not alone, a lot of us have dealt with this and continue to try to coexist with it. You’re not a monster. This hit me in my twenties too, I think I was 21. It was so scary. Almost like I realized I was definitely not a child anymore and adult and omg who else is an adult? A p do. And then boom huge spiral and there’s probably more to it but that’s the gist of my story. Welcome to the community, we’re here for you 🤍

HOY

Date posted: 22w

thank you so much, I am refraining and this all began because of compulsive behavior, I am to see a psychologist so I hope it goes well, thank you

Dalia H.

Date posted: 22w

@issphra 🫶🏻 Hey i’m not the OP but I just want to say that I see you often on this app and you tend to leave really helpful comments and I just want to let you know that your presence on this app has honestly helped me tremendously when I’m in a really bad episode! You might remember me as the other person with really bad ROCD and obsessions over daydreaming/cheating. Your responses are a huge comfort and you seem like an amazing person. Wishing you all the best in combating your own OCD and just wanted to say thank you as a fellow sufferer who has been comforted by your comments.

issphra 🫶🏻

Date posted: 22w

@Dalia H. Thank you 💗 it means so much to me to know that I’m making an impact 🥹. I do remember you! It made me feel less alone to read your posts (I think I may have shared that I also have similar thoughts as yours w/the ROCD and daydreaming cheating obsessions). Thank you so much for writing this, it truly means more than I can express. I hope you’ve been doing okay :) 🫂💕

HOY

Date posted: 17w

@💛 be careful friend, youre seeking reassurance

Anonimus ME 🦋

Date posted: 22w

this happens to me too. It's all coercion and a test of the brain, even if we're not aware of it. The problem is false feelings, they create confusion for us. But if OCD wasn't the least bit realistic while it felt, we wouldn't have a problem...

HOY

Date posted: 22w

What is happening to me (Warning)

I fear I may have POCD, I am terrified of being a pedophile. my symptoms were initially strong surges of anxiety. I made the mistake of looking up what pedophilia is about and now I fear I am one. I have a bad masturbation problem and that didnt help, as now I feel a weird feeling down below and its distressing me. I'm only 20, this never happened to me before and now I only feel confusion and doubt, Ive cried like never before cause of this.

HOY

Date posted: 20w

False arousal and uncertainty

Just gonna vent, this never happened to me before during my 20 years alive. Whether it is POCD or not, I have truly lost my sense of self and my innocence. Why of all things did this have to happen. Ive been experiencing more strong groinal responses and mixed feelings of arousal regarding specific thoughts. Its so odd, cause last month none of this happened, it was mainly just anxiety and mental breakdowns. Never did I think I would experience physical sensations as well. Acting on compulsions as well left me feeling absolute confusion, Ive stopped doing that but now I get the urge here and there, and Ive learned to sit with the discomfort. All this leaves me with more questions on whether I will truly get through this or not, or if people will understand my situation. On certain days I feel fine, on other days its sheer terror. I blame myself mainly for this all, It is scary as these images, causing both arousal and terror, only result in me feeling like a shell of my former self

POCD

happygirl15

Date posted: 10w

POCD/ Intrusive thoughts & Images

so I’ve been seeking therapy for my OCD for a few years. The theme that I’ve been dealing with most recently is the fear of becoming a pedophile, which then has led to intrusive images of me doing things to kids.Which now is just causing me so much distress and 24/7 constant thought cycle. I am starting to not be able to tell the difference between thoughts that are wanted/ unwanted- the line has become some blurry and these things are starting to feel like someothing i want to do. My brain keeps telling me to just test these thoughts and the “maybe”or”i don’t know” isn’t working. This has become such a barrier because the second layer is that I’m afraid that if I just let the thoughts be there it’ll make me be OK with doing those things and the fear is what’s keeping me from actually doing something inappropriate. It’s also transitioned into intrusive thoughts and images of me doing something very disgusting to my dog and that when I’m cuddling with him I get the thoughts to just do it or try it to see if i am actually a p*do. it’s almost like the compulsion would be to do the inappropriate thing, even though I know it’s wrong just to see how it would make me feel. I feel like i can’t control these urges even though i’ve never acted on it. At any point i could just do it. I’ve never had these thoughts before up until about a year and a half ago when my friend‘s boyfriend got arrested for soliciting a minor then all these thoughts came to life.Has anyone experienced something like this and have any advice?

POCD

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I cannot tell whether I have POCD

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