I definitely struggle with Rocd/relationship anxiety to the point where I can’t function normally or participate in regular activities bc I’m fixating trying to figure out if this guy is right for me/if I truly want to be with him/ or not. But is this because he’s important to me specifically like is it really about my love for him? Or is it just because I value my relationships
a therapist told me that you can start to get rocd when it’s a serious relationship/ a really healthy relationship and that has honestly helped me a lot because I have bad rocd with my relationship now and it’s the best healthiest relationship I’ve ever been in!
@a1724 Why do I like not believe it no matter the amount of reassurance like is this a form of self sabatoge 😭😭😭 my current therapist doesn’t think I have ocd/should do ERP but I know for a fact I have mental compulsions and struggle with other subtypes
@Chronicoverthinker This is how I was when I first started to experience these feelings it took over all my thoughts, and it just made me believe that he’s not the one for me and that I don’t love him anymore It was really hard to deal with knowing that I still loved him, but I just took a break took a week away from the relationship and it really helped me see that I do love him and I do wanna be with him so maybe try to take some time to yourselves and just figure out what you want it will help clear your mind a little bit
@a1724 Yes that’s a good call, It’s hard BC he broke up with me in the past BC my rocd was so bad that it was affecting his mental health badly, and so we weren’t together or seeing each other for like over a month and so i got used to being comfortable on my own. So now that we’re talking again it’s just making me more confused what i want BC obviously i had feelings for him but i also know i’m happy without him and don’t “need” him in my life so I’ve been super sporadic and back and forth about what to do
@Chronicoverthinker we tried to take time apart more recently bc i was getting overwhelmed and he was super respectful of my space and everything, and in that time i got sad and started picturing a future with him but i still question if I really want him or not bc I know when I’m keeping myself busy i can forget about him and be happy single
@Chronicoverthinker And at the same time like I do value him as a person and care about him like I value his presence in my life, I just also am happy being single and on my own so it feels like no one is good enough or worth my time and idk if that just means he’s not the right fit for me or I just don’t want a relationship with him deep down
@Chronicoverthinker I have the same feeling sometimes I get really guilty because I like my time alone and I don’t miss him when I’m by myself but you also have to remember that’s OK to feel that way it’s OK to have your own life and he can have his alone time too it’s normal to not miss your partner when you’re not with them or not wanna spend every second with them.
@a1724 Thank you so much!!!
The ROCD is most likely acting up because he is important to you AND because you value your relationships. OCD tends to latch on to things that mean a lot to you!
@blorbo How do I know if I’m just holding on out of fear of attachment/not finding someone else? I can literally think myself into and out of any decision regarding this relationship I’ve never experienced anything like this before and it drives me insane trying to figure out what I want
@Chronicoverthinker You can’t be 100% certain if you’re holding on out of fear, and that’s why the OCD is acting up. When we (ppl who suffer from OCD) aren’t 100% sure/certain of something, the disordered part of our brains panic. As long as your OCD is acting up severely and you’re confused and anxious, therapists generally recommend staying with your partner (unless they’re abusive in any way). And in dealing with that uncertainty and working to get better, you should get a better idea of what you want, and if this relationship is right for you.
Is rocd just imaginary thoughts what ifs with no real reason ? Or could you have rocd with real relationship issues that do bother you in your relationship also ? Even before rocd symptoms started ? Like betrayal or a potential deal breaker ? Constantly thinking about the betrayal and one other thing which is making me question love and compatibility so I’m not sure if it’s just the wrong relationship or rocd
I was on a walk outside and I saw a guy also on a walk and thought he seemed cool/attractive. Then I got super anxious and started wondering if he would be a better match for me than my boyfriend who doesn’t go on walks or do outdoor activities frequently. Is this rocd or is this me deep down doubting if he’s the right guy for me/not wanting to be with him? I really can’t tell and it’s causing me a lot of distress bc I do love him, but I know you can love someone and they can still be the wrong person for you or not the right fit long term and I’m trying to distinguish if I’m in denial of that or if it’s just my anxiety attacking my relationship with him. Any advice?
Every morning I wake up im always fixating on something and texting chat gpt, whether thats my relationship or my sexuality. I try so hard to resist it but I just can’t handle the uncertainty or the idea of hurting him or leading him on. We aren’t even official because in the past my rocd caused an issue between us where it led to him breaking up with me so now I have a fear of his intentions being ingenuine, especially because friends and family have called him a love bomber, saying he used me for attention, and narcissistic. This takes over me because I feel like I will never be able to be happy with him or trust myself or the relationship because of what other people say. I am very content on my own and single, this is the first relationship where i have experienced debilitating anxiety and doubt about the legitimacy of both of our feelings to the point where I cannot function. I’m trying so hard to not feed into it and not give it energy but I just hate the idea of leading him on or being inauthentic to what I truly want. My current therapist who I only see a couple times a month doesn’t think I have ocd, which makes me spiral and think I should end it with him, especially because I always hear things like “The right relationship will add to your life” and I feel the opposite is happening not directly because of him but because my brain takes over and paralyzes me with indecision about if i should be with him or not. I know that his intentions are genuine, but I hate that everyone is so cynical and assumes they’re not just because my rocd and his emotional baggage created a messy situation. From the moment i met him I convinced myself it was too good to be true and my therapist even said I was self-sabatoging. But i hate not knowing if it is rocd and my insurance doesn’t cover NOCD. He is so patient with me and supportive but I keep hearing things like “the honeymoon stage is supposed to last 3 months” and “it shouldn’t be this hard with the right person” “you’re not good for each other” and my friends tell me i didnt do anything wrong etc bc he did at first say my ocd didnt affect him when in reality that led to him ending it initially. But he has been more upfront with his emotions but then my mom and people will say “more to come” “there’s so much more out there” and its just so isolating not having that support and wondering if im too young to settle and if I’m just an idiot convincing myself I have rocd when really i just don’t want to be with him/it is a toxic relationship. When in reality the only reason it is toxic is because i am so sporadic about whether or not I want him in my life because of my distrust in myself and my decisions. I love him but I know love isn’t always enough and I get existential fixating on what’s “meant to be” and what’s “supposed to happen” its like this debilitating urge to control everything and make everything go perfectly how it is supposed to go. Please help i just want to make the right decision and stop paralyzing myself with doubt
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