Advice

As someone who has never been in a relationship it’s hard for me to envision myself in one and know what it will feel like. I feel like being 21 I’ve protected myself a lot due to insecurity. I want a boyfriend and yet I don’t it’s just all really scary for me. I never had the stupid relationship to break the ice and now I’m putting so much pressure and emphasis on things and finding the RIGHT person. Also have hocd definitely doesn’t help. I’m working on myself and doing my best. But my current feelings are: I don’t like the way I look, I can’t imagine myself with someone, and I’m never going to find someone I click with and feel good with. Any advice??????

loannakarina

Date posted: 22w

Hey! When I was a teenager, I used to have boyfriends, but as an adult, I stopped because of insecurities. Many times, OCD made me believe I didn’t deserve love, but that’s not true. I completely understand your feelings because I’m going through the same thing right now. That being said, therapy has helped me a lot. First of all, I want to say that everyone around me is in a relationship (I’m 24), and that makes me feel quite insecure. Many times, we believe we don’t deserve love simply because OCD creates insecurities. One of the best pieces of advice I can give you, which has helped me a lot, is to talk to your female friends about it. They’ve made me see many irrational fears I had and how they’ve stopped me from opening up to people because of my insecurities. Right now, I’m going on dates and opening up to people. Sometimes it’s scary, but other times, it’s surprising how some people even accept your insecurities and embrace them.

Anonymous

Date posted: 22w

@loannakarina Thank you ❤️ I know it will all make sense in time and I just need to focus on getting a therapist and maybe working on my body. Easier said then done but I’m trying lmao

[Deleted]

Date posted: 22w

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Anonymous

Date posted: 22w

@Savannahnoir Thank you ❤️

Anonymous

Date posted: 25w

I feel so lonely

I feel like I will never find a boyfriend. I have to many issues, with my ocd, my anxiety, self sabotage, fear, scars of commitment. Is he the right one is he not. I don’t know where this comes from but I feel like it has to do a lot with insecurity. I don’t like my body and I think I’m just big in every way. Nothing wrong with being bigger I just don’t feel confident this way. I’m tall and overweight and I feel so uncomfortable with the fact that one day I will get personal with someone you know. I think people around me think I’m gay becuase ive never had a boyfriend or any romantic connection at all, no hand holding or anything. I feel like a loser and everyone who knows I’ve never had a boyfriend just give me this ohhhh kinda look, like I’m hiding something. I hate it especially since I have Hocd . It definitely doesn’t help, at alllllllll. Im afraid I will always find fault or a reason not to like a guy. Ughhh I have a feeling I’m going to be single forever at this rate. It just all freaks me out, plus my friends try to get me with there friends and it feel forced and I hate it. All the guys that I like don’t like me and I can’t picture myself with them. Well I can’t picture myself with anyone unfortunately. Idk why it’s so easy for other people and not for me. What is wrong with me.

Anonymous

Date posted: 23w

Struggling😢

Can having socd make you lose attraction. I have never be the girl to obsess or chase after boys does that mean I’m gay. I had crushes on them but I would rather die then have them know I like them. Plus I knew they were out of my league so even if they did like me I feel like I would say no for some reason. I have been single all my life and thinking of being in a relationship feels so weird and scary and foreign. Like I feel like I won’t be in a relationship. I won’t look good with anyone or I will feel like an imposter. Idk how to explain it. I want to feel love but all this is making me feel like I never will.

Gato0z

Date posted: 22w

Any advice?

I feel completely unlovable. I have a difficult time getting close to people because of my OCD and I have to force myself to not compulsively seek reassurance. I feel like I’ll never find my person. I’m worried I’ll be an awful wife because of my inability to do anything. I want to show up for my partner, but I feel stuck because of my OCD. I think it’s safer to just be alone.

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