OCD isn’t just about compulsions—it’s a mental battle that can be completely exhausting. The anxiety, doubt, and pressure to "get it right" can feel unbearable, especially when others don’t understand what’s happening beneath the surface. What’s the hardest part about living with OCD that others don’t see?
The fact that u believe that all those intrusive thoughts are you’re identity(at least it gets to me sometimes)
Yes!! I love how you put this. It can be so easy to forget that our thoughts aren't reflective of who we are, or evidence for or against a worry. Building awareness around this is so, so helpful in treating OCD. Once you're able to notice intrusive thoughts and recognize them as thoughts, without attaching meaning to them, it can feel a much easier to stay present in exposures without getting pulled into a worry spiral. Taking a few steps back from thoughts and "noticing" them, rather than engaging with them, is also super helpful for rumination in general - as I'm sure you've noticed! Here are some resources that talk about this topic :) https://www.treatmyocd.com/what-is-ocd/info/related-symptoms-conditions/what-if-my-intrusive-thoughts-are-real https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/act-therapy-for-ocd
@fable1234 True because they become fact. I feel it so it is true. FACT. I think it so it must be true. FACT. Anything I read the show fits. FACT.
The daily struggle to get by knowing my intrusive thoughts are not real and what I’m hyper focused on is just a thought or reality. I spend so much energy just trying to figure out how to be normal.
You are so not alone with this! I'm not sure if you noticed, but another person who commented mentioned the same struggle. Trying to determine if thoughts are reflective of reality, with the kind of pin-point precision and certainty OCD demands, is a daunting, exhausting, and impossible task. As I'm sure you already know well at this point, this is exactly why OCD loves to latch onto it. Coupled with distressing emotions like anxiety, fear and shame, intrusive thoughts can feel extra real, and it can be very challenging to notice the thoughts without making meaning out of them. ERP can help build skills in this area, making it less challenging to notice both the thoughts *and* the discomfort they bring, while still resisting compulsions. I'm linking a resource below, but I recommend you check out the links I added to fable12334's post as well! https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/how-can-i-tell-if-a-thought-is-intrusive
@Tara Wight This is what I hate, meaning. We can’t help but have meaning to them because we don’t put meaning to them. The meaning says itself with thought and feelings so it is real. How are we supposed to not put meaning to it when it automatically does it. We’d be in denial then……
One of the most difficult challenges of living with OCD is the constant struggle to discern whether the intrusive thoughts and compulsions one experiences are truly justified or merely a product of the disorder. This internal conflict creates a heavy burden, leading to uncertainty and distress about the authenticity of one’s feelings and behaviors.
Hi Brittany07! Beautifully put. This is a challenge I've come across a lot as an ERP therapist. It's very hard to determine if intrusive thoughts are "justified" or not, especially when your body is reacting in a way that implies you're in immediate danger. I've heard other therapists here describe OCD as a "faulty alarm system," and ERP as a means of recalibrating that alarm system. Looking at things from this perspective can be helpful, not only in better understanding OCD, but also in releasing some of the self-blame and shame that comes along with it. After all, we're all doing the best we can :) This article references the alarm system analogy, if you want to check it out! https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/why-using-logic-to-tackle-ocd-wont-work
@Tara Wight An alarm system could be true, but it would be certain. And the lab if it is unconscious ERP only deal with surface level. I believe OCD goes further for some. There are people who make a mountain out of a mole hill. But they can’t help it. But it destroys lives, relationships…. Everything because when we say what we think and feel as truth. We think and feel it as normal thoughts and feelings.
I feel so confused every day
OCD really can be brain-spinny. Especially managing all the intrusive thoughts and rumination shouting over one another, along with all the logic-based thoughts trying to get the intrusive thoughts and rumination to pipe down. It can be exhausting. I'm not sure if this is what you're referring to with feeling confused, so if I'm off the mark, please correct me! As always, this challenge is so common I was able to find a NOCD article that specifically talks about confusion. Hope this gives some helpful insights and tools! https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/dealing-with-confusing-emotions-during-ocd-spikes
@Tara Wight Thank you so very much. I will read it!!!
I think the fact that ocd is so tiring, makes you so depressed (at least me),, that you are trying to get better buy they see no change...just to start.
Yes, this can be really tough. OCD and depression are often linked, which has a lot to do with the ways OCD gets in the way of living life how you want to - doing the things you enjoy, spending time with people you care about and like being around.. When you lose access to these enjoyable parts of life due to OCD, it's very natural to feel depressed. On top of that, it can feel very frustrating to put in effort to fight OCD, and feel like you’re not making progress. This can happen in or out of ERP, for a number of reasons. ERP, when practiced effectively, has a great track record for effecting positive change. I don't know if you are in ERP currently. If you are, I will say, it tends to "get worse before it gets better." That said, the more a person is willing to wait out that "worse" stage, the more rewarding it can be on the other side. If you aren't in ERP I highly recommend it, naturally :). You're always welcome to book a free call with the care team to learn more. Here's an article on OCD and Depression if you'd like to learn a little more - https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/depression-and-ocd-how-are-they-related
@Anonymous It is because it is our brains.
@NOCD Therapist - Tara W. Thanks!
The hardest part for me is the battle between having an intrusive thought, then anxiety kicks in creating a vicious cycle. My ODC symptoms comes and goes in waves but when it’s triggered, it’s strong!
@saburns95 Indeed, that is something i completely understand. Hopefully it will subside some for you soon. That cycle, or spiral as it happens in my self, can be devastating. I’ve learned to lessen the impact but that hasn’t alleviated its existence unfortunately.
Hi there - I agree with someonemaybe (love this username by the way!) this cycle really can be devastating. When it comes to intrusive thoughts and anxiety with OCD, you kinda can't have one without the other. The way I think about it, there isn't much of a difference between an intrusive thought and what another person might call an "automatic" thought. We have automatic thoughts all day long - random things that pop up for seemingly no real reason, like a brief memory of someone, or a song from a commercial. These thoughts become intrusive when we have a strong reaction to them, like, "I imagined this horrible thing happening to someone I love, does that mean I want it to happen? Am I manifesting this event?" When we make meaning out of our thoughts and become distressed by their presence, they suddenly start to feel intrusive. Especially when we try pushing them away and trying to *not* think the thought. I'm sure you know this cycle well, but here's an article if you want a refresher on effective ways to respond to OCD! https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/effective-ways-you-can-respond-to-unwanted-thoughts
@saburns95 Because it felt truth. And there is no evidence against yourself
That people don’t get your distress as real so you act “normal” and are screaming in your head.
Yeah, it's hard enough to cope with distress and intrusive thoughts as it is. It can be extra upsetting and frustrating when others don't understand the intensity of those feelings. In these situations it can feel like you're constantly putting out fires, trying to manage OCD while also feeling pressured to conceal very real feelings of fear, worry and panic. This article touches on this, and provides some helpful insights: https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/hiding-your-ocd-can-be-a-burden-heres-how-you-can-let-it-go I'm not sure if you're in ERP treatment at NOCD. If you are or plan to be at any point, I always recommend attending the support groups offered here for people in treatment. There's even a support group for family members and loved ones of people in ERP treatment here, to learn about OCD and how to better support in the ERP process. These kinds on services, paired with ERP, can really go a long way. You don't have to go it alone! Here's a video that explains OCD to people who may not understand, if you ever feel like sharing with someone :) https://youtu.be/QZVIeBV9M-c?si=rTOciz4pAafgtJr3
The hardest part about OCD for me is: I also have ADHD and depression and other diagnosis as well. Sometimes I get confused. How should I respond to this thought today? ERP? CBT? ACT? And then the confusion can be a mental compulsion all in itself. OCD wants me to stay stuck. OCD wants me to categorize each thought in the right way. That “just right” feeling that I’m learning to try and let go of. And instead leaning into the discomfort of it all and recognizing “Maybe I don’t know what to do with this thought in this situation and maybe that’s ok”
I absolutely get this! Are you in ERP treatment already? If it helps to "undo" some certainty - ERP, CBT, and ACT have a lot of overlap. So, not only is there likely no 100% "just right" way to select the exact right approach to a certain situation, there's also no way of selecting one approach in a vacuum. Using one means you're likely using some elements from another at the same time! You probably already know this if you're referencing these therapies at all, but it could be worth reminding OCD of this next time it tries to bug you :) PS - Love your response prevention message! Here's some articles on ERP, CBT and ACT if you or anyone else reading would like to dig further: https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/cbt-good-treatment-ocd-erp-therapy https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/act-therapy-for-ocd
@gracefuleducator It’s slowly teaching us to know EVEN IF we knew it was right all along. To be comfortable with it
@Tara Wight Yes I’m new though. I started in Dec. My NOCD therapist is next level
Sometimes it’s hard to describe exactly what it’s like because it is a lot to understand unless you have been in the same shoes.
Absolutely - it can be pretty taxing trying to explain OCD to people who don't have first hand experience with it. Even harder if their understanding is the stereotypical, false version often portrayed in media. Thankfully, there's a lot of resources out there for people who want to better understand! This can help take some of that burden off of your shoulders, especially if a person is just getting started with ERP. First off, I see you're a Treatment Conquerer - congratulations!!! As a NOCD member, you have access to all the support groups here. One of those groups, "Supporting Others with OCD: Education for Family & Loved Ones," is exactly what it sounds like. This is a weekly meeting where people in your life can take time to learn about OCD, and learn how they can best support you through ERP treatment. This is a great article on how to explain OCD to others: https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/telling-friends-and-family-about-ocd Lastly, I love this video of Dr. Jonathan Grayson, also directed toward people who haven't experienced OCD and want to understand. If you really want to knock someone's socks off, show them this! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HeYjDbRmAsM
@Tara Wight Light switches and clean my hands. Deeper than that. WAY deeper. This light switch and clean my hands is generic bullshit. But happens. These guys above have it easy compared to us. It is so deeper Nd media betrayed it as something simple for us to understand but in the wrong way but it happens. Us OCD folk are and I think should be the top of the worst worst mental health conditions ever. Because we’ll never settle truly and have to live with uncertainty worst than those who live with it normally and be comfortable or not give it a second thought. That’s our condition.
wake up and the first thing that comes to my mind is what ocd plans on making me think for the whole day!!
I hear this often as an ERP therapist! For a lot of people, OCD seems to be super loud either first thing in the morning or before bed - or both. I was watching a NOCD live Q&A the other night with some guest therapists and all 3 spoke about their experiences with OCD in the morning. They all shared their own approaches to responding to OCD and practicing response prevention throughout the day. If you want to watch I highly recommend, it's a great conversation. The part I'm talking about starts at 48:55, but the whole video is worth a watch :) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X8NBgwyLjp0&t=747s
The hell i put myself through everyday for every wrong thought and action I’ve ever had or done. I have the hardest time not taking full responsibility for every intrusive thought. I’ve never seen them as not my own. The thoughts i know aren’t mine are the negative ones, the ones that say everyone would be better off if i wasn’t around. Those come from years of being torn apart and i know are not mine. But the intrusive ones i always assumed were mine. It’s the weirdest thing for me to understand it could be anything other than just my own thoughts circling about.
The fear that food gives me. They just cannot see inside my brain. When someone gives me a coffee cup with a cold drink is another example. My mind races. It’s not supposed to be in that vessel. When I ask people over and over to not do something and they laugh. It’s so demoralizing. I wish I could just explain it but it’s so difficult.
The ups and downs of it - I’ll have consecutive days of feeling good and fearless and then back to square one in an instant. Ruminating the same themes that I consciously know aren’t a problem. A whole new cycle! It’s so demotivating feeling like all your progress is erased.
The fact that no one “gets it”. I KNOW I’m not thinking logically but I still have to work it out in my head otherwise I won’t be able to let it go
How often I am terrified simply as a result of the thoughts in my head. I feel like i am running a marathon every day but no one sees me running. The only see me after i get to the finish line, exhausted and burned out.
I want to beat OCD because I have seen and felt the benefits of clearing my brain from unnecessary, pointless, thoughts. OCD is like 0 calorie food. It’s pointless. No nutrition or benefits come from my obsessions or compulsions. I don’t care to have answers to everything anymore. I catch myself just trying to stress myself out so that I have some worry to feed on. But like I said, it’s a 0 calorie food. I get nothing from it but wasted time and energy. My brain feels more spacious when I’m not consumed by OCD. I’m present. My personality has room to be herself without making space for bullshit. I tell myself now that worry is poison. I think Willie Nelson was the person I got that quote from? Anyways, that imagery of worries being poison for the mind has been transformative for me. I’m evolving. 💖 Thanks NOCD community.
So after my ocd has become more prominent, it gets harder to fight through these compulsion’s everyday. I don’t go to therapy or take any medications and to be honest I am very lost in my journey on how to navigate life with ocd. I don’t want it to take over my life. I want to be able to feel like I can live without a weight on my chest and to finally feel like I can breathe. Any suggestions or words of advice is more than welcome.
Has anyone experienced their reputation affected or misunderstood because of a societally taboo OCD theme? Others catching wind of your obsessions and misinterpreting it, assuming the worst? I’m intentionally keeping it vague because I don’t want my specific situation to get reassured, but it’s been a real tough pill to swallow knowing that people close to me (and anyone else they might talk to) think of me differently. I’m unwilling to share about my OCD because I feel pretty confident it will be taken as an excuse or denial, and feels compulsive and reassurance seeking. Let me know if anyone here has experienced anything like it, how they handled it, exposures you did.
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