Religious OCD and romantic relationships

I have grown up in a Christian community and kind of always been around people who believe Christianity or even catholic. In the past few years I’ve really dove deep into my faith and honestly felt good about myself sometimes but overall terrified and like I’m a horrible person if I do one thing wrong or make a wrong sin. I’m also not sure if I completely believe in all the traditional Christian practices anymore. But I’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend for almost 5 months and everything is going great. We communicate and he’s so loving and respectful and I honestly don’t have any major issues In the relationship. I used to have a big fear of men starting when I was like 7 aboit my grandpa or my dad trying to rape me (even though they are good men and showed no real signs of it). But it ruined my relationship with them both for awhile til it eventually went away. I always told myself it was because the “spirit” of ocd was rebuked by Jesus but I honestly don’t know. Now I’m dealing with a more extosential or religious ocd where I’m terrified I’m a horrible person for being in a relationship and almost feel worse about myself if I get closer to God. I also feel like if I get too close to God then I have to choose between Him and my bf and I can’t have both. It’s driving me in San and I feel like if I tell anyone any of this they’ll tell me to just break up with my bf even though there isn’t anything wrong in our relationship. Idk what to do and it’s so draining

Andrea Wells

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 39w

I'm so sorry you are experiencing this. I have experienced a lot of OCD themes around religion, morality, relationships, and existence as well. OCD loves to latch onto those things, because they are important to us. OCD often latches on to the things we really value. Have you ever met with an ERP therapist? They can help a lot with helping you to sort through all this and find peace from it. They are all OCD specialists and understand this stuff really well, they will not just tell you to break up with your boyfriend. Your boyfriend is not the problem. OCD is the problem! You can set up a free 15 minute call with NOCD to find out more about how treatment works and to get matched with a therapist at this link: https://www.treatmyocd.com/calendar I did therapy here and I can not recommend it enough!

cmax20

Date posted: 37w

@Andrea Wells I actually have an appointment with a counselor on Wednesday for my first therapy session. I’m super nervous. I don’t believe she specializes in ocd but her profile I looked up online says she specializes in taxonomies so maybe that will still help.

SomeoneToMe

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 39w

It sounds like you’ve found a very good man. If anybody ever told you to leave him because of religion, i would be hard pressed to believe that was a wise thing to suggest. Good men are hard to find. You don’t have to give up one for the other. I’m no expert but i was heavily part of the Christian church at one point in my life and still hold what i learned to be truth. I’ve never heard anybody say oh you found a good person, you should leave them and worship God more. I don’t think God wants that either. Like i said, I’m no expert, please keep that in mind. But i know the value of a true and good person, don’t let that go.

cmax20

Date posted: 39w

@Someonemaybe I honestly had gotten into a faith where everything my friend believed I took as truth, or if I saw Christian influencers doing or saying it then it would have to be true, rather than figuring out what I believe myself. He’s a very good man and makes me a better person and supports me and comforts me even with all my ocd and fears.

SomeoneToMe

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 39w

@cmax20 That’s an awesome guy right there, supportive and compassionate. Definitely not easy to find. I’m sure you are just as important and special to him, which is also so awesome! Regarding faith, it took me a while too, to realize what man says isn’t always what is. You’ve got to read and live and find out for yourself , just like you said. Otherwise, who knows what you’re actually believing in. I’ve fallen away a bit, but what’s true, i still know to be true. That never changes no matter where my life is.

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