Responsibly ignoring intrusive images

Hi all, I’m really grateful for all the support I’ve gotten from people in the last few days. My mental health is at an all time low and I really appreciate the relief people have brought. I had a question about whether an intrusive image of a potentially imagined event can feel just as real as a real memory. I’m doing my best to stop ruminating over an image I have in my head, and have gone so far as requested security footage of myself and have been told both through that and by my friends that nothing bad happened, but the image in my head feels just as real as other memories. I was also drinking the night in question, which makes it harder for me to dismiss the image and makes me feel like I shouldn’t. I was just wondering if imagined images can feel just as real? I’m trying to use tools to ignore the image, and have therapy scheduled for tomorrow, but I feel like I can’t responsibly dismiss the image even with the evidence I’ve gathered if there’s something about a real memory that looks different in the brain and that if so, that suggests my memory is real and I should confess it. I’m really working on stopping reassurance seeking as well, especially now that even after being told that nothing bad happened when the establishment I was at reviewed security footage, my brain is telling me “they’re probably just lying and never reviewed it.” I know I need to just stop ruminating, reassurance seeking, and mentally checking the memory, but I just don’t know if I can/should in case the image is what I should trust more, if that makes sense.

Anonymous

Date posted: 18d ago

Hypothetically, what would you even confess? There is truly no point in confessing. “Hey partner, I may or may not have cheated on you, good luck with that information, please forgive me”. I’m only saying this because I’m in the same position as you. I’ve confessed to something similar and just ended up hurting my partner for no reason. I’m right there with you… night of drinking, realistic image that is confusing and can’t tell if it a memory. After I stopped trying to achieve certainty, the feeling wasn’t as bad. It does bother me still, but it is a work in progress

eb123456789

Date posted: 18d ago

@Anonymous That’s definitely a good point. I actually did tell my partner what I’m worried about pretty early into my obsession and journaled out everything I remembered and was worried about and had him read it. He understands my struggles with intrusive thoughts, especially because I’ve had this exact fear before, and he told me he’s not concerned at all that it’s real and trusts me. I know that means I should try to just trust myself and move on, but I can’t help but worry if some part of me “knows” it’s real and I’m just getting away with it, which he doesn’t deserve and I would never want to do. I know I need to just stop questioning it though and hope I can get to the point you’re at too, thank you for the response ❤️

Anonymous

Date posted: 18d ago

@eb123456789 Same here! I think Confessed to my partner about this current memory fear and they wanted me to move on as well. Good luck! Will follow your journey

Anonymous

Date posted: 18d ago

@Anonymous Sounds like you have a very supportive partner!

User type: Therapist

Date posted: 17d ago

Unfortunately, intrusive thoughts/images can feel more and more real the more you engage with them in compulsive ways (seeking reassurance, etc.). It is one of the things that makes OCD thoughts so "sticky." It is never satisfied. I'm glad you are getting therapy tomorrow! They will help you understand this cycle much better than we can in a post!

Andrea Wells

Date posted: 17d ago

Yes, the images can feel incredibly real. It's so confusing. And terrifying. OCD is relentless when it comes to doubt. It will have you doubting if it's a real image or a memory. Then when you get reassurance, it's still not enough. OCD will keep going with the doubts. Like when you had the video footage reviewed, once you got an answer, OCD just moved on to doubting the people who viewed it instead. The doubt will always keep going. ERP therapy is the way out. Have you ever met with an ERP therapist? It has helped me a ton when feeling like you are right now.

User type: Therapist

Date posted: 16d ago

This is actually not uncommon! You might find this article interesting: https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/false-memory-ocd

bloominglotus

Date posted: 21w ago

Images coming back again

My intrusive images were an absolute nightmare back in April. I honestly don’t even know how it got better, I had written a letter to God begging for help. Well recently idk if it’s because I’ve been stressed a lot again and ruminating on a lot of pocd related things from the past the make me worry, but the images have started again and even though they are repulsive and awful, I feel like I’m not reacting how I should. I think I just got to where I would just try to like blink it away and ignore it, but I feel so bad if I’m not feeling absolute shame and guilt. I feel like I feel too normal and sometimes I forget that if anyone knew besides people on here, I can’t imagine what people would think, but I also know it’s not who I am so I feel like I don’t worry as much as I should. Also, I can’t stop worrying about fanfiction I read when I was like 16 and 17. It really bothers me because I keep wondering did I imagine this one character my age? Why did I read this? Did I even know what aging up was then, and even if I did it’s wrong and gross anyway but if I didn’t age this character up then that’s awful. And i just can’t let go but I think it’s triggering me to have the images so idk what to do.

‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎ㅤ

Date posted: 12w ago

False Memory Crisis

I went to bed one night in November, and I can't quite say what happened, but I believed that I had a "memory" from childhood. I won't discuss what, but I had "remembered" doing something sickeningly awful. This thing came to me almost as clear as a real memory. I remember thinking something along the lines of 'How could I forget doing something like that?' followed by a feeling of complete horror and terror. I have moments of "clarity" where I can't believe that I'm questioning doing this thing, and it appears obvious that it's false. But now, I'm more than often believing that I did. I am spending 24/7 fighting my head, and it's taking me to dark places. I know this is the worst thing to do, but you don't understand, if this is real then I am a monster and I can't just adopt the 'maybe I did, maybe I didn't approach'. I just can't. I have to know. I'm so scared. My entire life is on the line. I don't have anyone to talk to about this. Literally no one. I feel like I'm insane, like I'm a monster, like I'm hiding my true identity from everyone I love. Does this sound like False Memory? Or am I in denial, trying to convince myself this didn't happen? Why does it feel so real? And why do I have moments of clarity? I also had my first nightmare about it last night. Please someone help me.

amelia:3

Date posted: 4w ago

how to deal with real event + false memory??

im going to be vague here, but basically i did something in the past that i regret and it became a huge point of my OCD but i have talked to my therapist and i have mostly moved past it. i watched a video by an OCD youtuber that really put it into perspective. anyway, i have been with minimal worry for a few days, but now im having worries related to i think false memory? basically it’s like “oh but what if i said/ did this and just forgot that means i harmed this person im a bad person”. to me it sounds like textbook OCD but im just wondering if anyone else has experienced false memory / real event at the same time. i have a really horrible memory which is making it even more stressful. any responses are appreciated!

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Responsibly ignoring intrusive images

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