- Date posted
- 29w
Question
What to do when we feel guilty about our ocd checking and compulsive behaviors?
What to do when we feel guilty about our ocd checking and compulsive behaviors?
Same thing we do to not resort to compulsions, nothing. Sit with the uncertainty, separate from it, "I don't like this, but I'm going to allow it to pass"
My therapist gave me this idea: imagine putting your intrusive thoughts into a purse, a bag, or a pocket. You don’t try to make them go away, but you kind of set them aside so they’re not the focus. She explained that we can do the same thing with feelings like guilt, shame, anxiety, and stress, we acknowledge them, put them in a pocket, and keep going with our day. It’s a way of not letting those feelings take over, but also not pretending they’re not there. It’s not easy, but it’s one way to deal with them without letting them control you.
Hi Tony, I appreciate you sharing this! I’ve been in the same boat, feeling guilty because I know giving in to compulsions isn’t good for me, yet I still do it. Sometimes, we forget that emotions aren’t inherently good or bad; we’re the ones who assign them meaning. In moments like that, I try to be compassionate with myself. OCD is hard, and that’s okay. We’re going to make mistakes on this journey, and that’s okay too. What matters is remembering that one day doesn’t define our progress. We can notice the feeling of guilt, sit with it for a moment without doing anything, and then let it go. We just have to keep going and continue resisting compulsions. <3
@AnonymityK Solid point, I just feel guilty about the compulsions I have done and or the checking from this comes a lot of what if’s
@Tony Davies Hi Tony, I totally understand. OCD keeps us stuck in a vicious cycle, no matter what the content is. The best approach is to treat it all the same—even when the thoughts are about OCD itself and its compulsions. (I hope this makes sense)
@AnonymityK It’s hard to believe my compulsion was a compulsion…. It feels like it’s not and ocd tells us it’s not… it lies to us.
@Tony Davies Yes, the lying disorder l.
I just feel the need to fix this, and or really regret my compulsive behavior from recent past and have no idea
It’s hard to believe my compulsion was a compulsion…. It feels like it’s not and ocd tells us it’s not… it lies to us.
I’ve been struggling with religious OCD for the past month or so (blasphemous intrusive thoughts, fear of going to hell, etc). I’m a Christian. I’ve been in ERP and I’m learning to let the thoughts just be which is hard, but I’m struggling with the overwhelming feelings of guilt about having the intrusive thoughts. I know the thoughts aren’t from me and don’t reflect my true self, but sometimes if feels like I’m bringing the thoughts on if that makes sense. Does anyone have any advice on overcoming the guilt? OCD is also telling me I’m never going to get over this and my relationship with God will never be the same. I just want to be able to praise God without all of this and it’s making me incredibly sad and lonely. Any words of encouragement are appreciated.
I can’t help but feel so anxious because of guilt. I feel guilty about not sharing everything about my OCD to my partner, but because I understand that confession itself is a compulsion and would not help anyone. I feel so anxious too that if all my fears come true and she finds out, then it would be so devastating for everyone especially her. Does anyone feel the same thing? How could I change my perspective on this?
The subject of OCD matters to the sufferer because it feels like confirmation that they are fundamentally unlovable and unwanted—as if even existence itself doesn’t want them. They feel like an error, carrying a deep sense of guilt and shame, as if they were inherently wrong. They suffer from low self-esteem and a deep internalized shame, because long ago, they were fragmented and learned a pattern of fundamental distrust—especially self-distrust. But the real trouble doesn’t come from the content of the most vile or taboo thoughts. It comes from the fact that the sufferer lacks self-love. That’s why, when you begin to walk the road to recovery, you’re taught unconditional self-acceptance—because that’s what all sufferers of OCD have in common: if you aren’t 100% sure, if there isn’t absolute certainty, the doubt will continue to attack you and your core values. It will make you doubt everything—even your own aversion to the thoughts. You have to relearn how to trust yourself—not because you accept that you might become a murderer someday—but because you enter a deep state of acceptance about who you truly are. It’s not about becoming a monster at all. It’s about making peace with what lies at the root of the fear. Making peace with the guilt. With the shame. Making peace with yourself and the person you fear you might be. Because that fear is not rooted in reality. It’s not rooted in any true desire to act. It’s rooted in your identity—specifically, in what might threaten it. That’s what confirms the belief that you are fundamentally wrong. And OCD fuels that belief by using intrusive taboo thoughts to attack your very sense of self. But then I wonder: let’s say, for example, someone fears being or becoming a sexually dangerous person—how could that person practice unconditional self-acceptance? I would never accept myself if I were to harm anyone—the thought alone makes me want to cry. I know it’s not about whether or not someone acts on the thought. It’s about the core fear underneath it. So how do you accept yourself when the thoughts—and the feelings around them—feel so completely unacceptable ?
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