- Date posted
- 6w ago
Question
What to do when we feel guilty about our ocd checking and compulsive behaviors?
What to do when we feel guilty about our ocd checking and compulsive behaviors?
Same thing we do to not resort to compulsions, nothing. Sit with the uncertainty, separate from it, "I don't like this, but I'm going to allow it to pass"
My therapist gave me this idea: imagine putting your intrusive thoughts into a purse, a bag, or a pocket. You don’t try to make them go away, but you kind of set them aside so they’re not the focus. She explained that we can do the same thing with feelings like guilt, shame, anxiety, and stress, we acknowledge them, put them in a pocket, and keep going with our day. It’s a way of not letting those feelings take over, but also not pretending they’re not there. It’s not easy, but it’s one way to deal with them without letting them control you.
Hi Tony, I appreciate you sharing this! I’ve been in the same boat, feeling guilty because I know giving in to compulsions isn’t good for me, yet I still do it. Sometimes, we forget that emotions aren’t inherently good or bad; we’re the ones who assign them meaning. In moments like that, I try to be compassionate with myself. OCD is hard, and that’s okay. We’re going to make mistakes on this journey, and that’s okay too. What matters is remembering that one day doesn’t define our progress. We can notice the feeling of guilt, sit with it for a moment without doing anything, and then let it go. We just have to keep going and continue resisting compulsions. <3
@AnonymityK Solid point, I just feel guilty about the compulsions I have done and or the checking from this comes a lot of what if’s
@Tony Davies Hi Tony, I totally understand. OCD keeps us stuck in a vicious cycle, no matter what the content is. The best approach is to treat it all the same—even when the thoughts are about OCD itself and its compulsions. (I hope this makes sense)
@AnonymityK It’s hard to believe my compulsion was a compulsion…. It feels like it’s not and ocd tells us it’s not… it lies to us.
@Tony Davies Yes, the lying disorder l.
I just feel the need to fix this, and or really regret my compulsive behavior from recent past and have no idea
It’s hard to believe my compulsion was a compulsion…. It feels like it’s not and ocd tells us it’s not… it lies to us.
Feel guilty for not giving into compulsions like rumination and confessing? I feel guilt for having an intrusive thought, trying to shrug it off or just giving it a few seconds of thought and moving along. This sounds like improvement but I still struggle with the anxiety and the guilt. The shame. I’ll be okay and then I’ll remember I have OCD and my stomach will drop and I just want to curl up and cry.
So, I know my capacity to get fixated on things. And it's normally something that's relatively remote but, my latest issue is really getting to me and I was wondering if people have any advice. I'm avoiding getting too into specifics, as I don't want this to get reassurance-y but, in essence.. I came to the realisation recently that people who I'd been "friends" (feels like the wrong term now) when I was younger were not very nice people, and normalized a lot of very unpleasant behaviour towards other members of the group. They really normalized it, sold themselves as figures of authority, as older and more responsible and grown-up than others, and looking back, they acted horribly. And coming to this realisation, that I'd been manipulated into just accepting their behaviour has just... broken me. My OCD has latched onto it and I can't stop feeling irreversibly tainted by it. I've talked to others about it, and they've reassured me, told me it's not a big deal and that I hold myself to too high a standard, but none of that sticks. I feel better for a bit, then think 'Maybe when you told them you were skewing it to make yourself look better' or 'Did you leave out a crucial detail'. I keep ruminating over and over, trying to remember exactly how everything played out, trying to figure out if I fed into the behaviour, if I did something bad myself (because y'know, I feel like I was accepting of it at the time, so what does it say about my own values?). I know I need to stop doing all this if I want to improve, but then some part of me keeps saying 'So, you're just going to let yourself off the hook then?' Normally, I can rationalize my own fears to some degree, assure myself something won't happen, but the realness of the situation, and the fact I only came to understand the reality of it because the thought had been bothering me means it feels so much more all-encompassing. I know confessing in itself is a compulsion, but I keep feeling that if I'm not I'm somehow concealing what I 'really am' from others around me, and any positive interactions are me deceiving them in some way. I feel like I can't enjoy anything in life right now, and a good part of me feels I should not enjoy it ever again. If anybody has any advice on it, I'm all ears. Or even hearing if you relate to these feelings, I might appreciate the solidarity at least.
When OCD latches onto your morals, it can make you question whether you're a good person, even over small things. Have you ever felt overwhelming guilt over something others would brush off?
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