- Date posted
- 22w
ROCD
What if I really don’t like my partner? What if I’m gaslighting myself into thinking that my intuition could be OCD? What if we’re just not meant to be? I’m so confused
What if I really don’t like my partner? What if I’m gaslighting myself into thinking that my intuition could be OCD? What if we’re just not meant to be? I’m so confused
Maybe it is OCD, maybe it’s not. What would it look like for you to sit in that uncertainty?
@Anonymous It’s awful
@56Heal78 Totally understandable. I’m feeling the same way right now
Literally what I’m going through right now.
@BreannaDanae How long have you been feeling like this?
@56Heal78 I’ve been with my partner for almost 6 years and I started having these feelings almost 4 years ago and it still scares me and wants me to break up with her a lot bc of how uncertain I am but then what if I ruin everything
You’re not alone, going through the exact same thing right now
@Chronicoverthinker How do you go about it?
@56Heal78 Honestly, I’m not proud of how I’ve been handling it. I’ve been super sporadic about whether or not I truly want to be with him or if am just afraid to let go, and am constantly fixating on our differences and whether or not he’s truly a good match for me. It also doesn’t help that my friends and family are not very supportive of the relationship, because my overanalyzing has obviously been causing me a lot of distress, and they just see it as his fault—granted he hasn’t been perfect either in the past, but we have grown a lot together and I have been self sabotaging from day 1, so it’s extremely difficult to tell what I truly want. I saw that you actually commented on one of my older posts, and your advice was to lean into the anxiety and uncertainty rather than trying to push it away—so that is what I am trying to do, but it is very difficult as I have an obsession about wasting time and put a lot of pressure on myself to make the “right” decision
@Chronicoverthinker But my best advice as someone who doesn’t even know if she’s experiencing ocd or not, would be to give the relationship a chance without letting your anxiety and doubts guide you…only then can you truly know what you want and what’s best for you. Try getting to the root of your fears…ask “and then” questions about what will happen if they come true. If you can identify your fears it can help you make decisions guided by your values but I get how much easier said it is than done
Someone who knows it isn’t the right relationship will generally let go without any hesitation or worry or panic if their intuition was guiding them they would be at peace with the decision
@521mullax This is so good
@521mullax Is it possible to have moments where you feel at peace with the decision and then go back to second guessing? I have a really hard time distinguishing between my intuition and my anxiety
@Chronicoverthinker There is no anxiety in intuition it is a thing of it’s own
@521mullax So could I be mistaking the two..because I’ve broken up with my partner in the past and was like wow I feel so at peace for like one night but then the anxiety came back second guessing my decision and we started talking again
@Chronicoverthinker And I really wanna stop messing w his head my rocd is really getting in the way and affects his mental but I also don’t want to make a decision I regret
@Chronicoverthinker Look at it this way if it was true. Would you regret leaving them and knowing you could never get them back because it was too late or would you regret trying and the failed?
@521mullax Knowing that I could never get them back would be the regret but then I get in my head like you’re just attached and will get over them you’re just settling blah blah blah like it’s an endless cycle
@Chronicoverthinker no matter what happens I will get over it and be okay at the end I just know that rn I have so much anxiety not knowing if this person is right for me and it’s so draining to sit with
@Chronicoverthinker You’ll never know if someone is right for you.
Lately, I’ve been feeling like my relationship isn’t real. I keep thinking: • Why am I even with him? • Do I actually like him, or am I just used to him? • What if I’m just convincing myself that I like him? I feel numb, disconnected, and nothing I tell myself reassures me. Sometimes, I get really irritable when we talk, I don’t feel joy, and I start overanalyzing everything. It makes me feel like the absolute truth is that I don’t like him, and I’m just in denial. I also heard that when you don’t like someone, there’s no anxiety—just relief. But I have moments where the thought “I don’t want to be with him” crosses my mind, and I don’t feel anything at all. And because I don’t panic immediately, I start thinking “Maybe this means it’s true.” I’ve read that love isn’t about feeling excitement 24/7, but my mind keeps telling me that if I don’t feel connected, if I have to search for reasons why I like him, that must mean I don’t. I feel like I’m losing touch with my emotions, and no matter what I do, I can’t seem to feel love or happiness the way I used to. It’s like I keep waiting for some proof that I truly want to be with him, but I never find it. Has anyone else felt this way? I feel like I’m trapped in this endless doubt, and I don’t know what’s real anymore.
I’ve been with my partner for almost a year now, and my rocd has become really really bad. I keep feeling like I fell out of love and I just have eyes for other people now, and that I would rather be with someone else. It feels like I’m infatuated with other people and it makes me so guilty. It’s been so hard for me because it’s hard to tell if it’s just my brain convincing me I don’t love my partner or if this is really my desire. The biggest fear I have is hurting my partner, so there’s also a sense of urgency that I need to tell them how I’ve been feeling to prevent myself from leading them on I guess. This is compounded with a history of porn addiction that still affects me and makes me feel like I’m more attracted to others. Has anyone else been in this position? I feel like I’m alone and that this is the sign that I’m terrible and shouldn’t be with my partner and that the end of our relationship is inevitable. I can’t tell if I really love them or not and if I really want to still be with them and I hate that I’m having that doubt.
Every morning I wake up im always fixating on something and texting chat gpt, whether thats my relationship or my sexuality. I try so hard to resist it but I just can’t handle the uncertainty or the idea of hurting him or leading him on. We aren’t even official because in the past my rocd caused an issue between us where it led to him breaking up with me so now I have a fear of his intentions being ingenuine, especially because friends and family have called him a love bomber, saying he used me for attention, and narcissistic. This takes over me because I feel like I will never be able to be happy with him or trust myself or the relationship because of what other people say. I am very content on my own and single, this is the first relationship where i have experienced debilitating anxiety and doubt about the legitimacy of both of our feelings to the point where I cannot function. I’m trying so hard to not feed into it and not give it energy but I just hate the idea of leading him on or being inauthentic to what I truly want. My current therapist who I only see a couple times a month doesn’t think I have ocd, which makes me spiral and think I should end it with him, especially because I always hear things like “The right relationship will add to your life” and I feel the opposite is happening not directly because of him but because my brain takes over and paralyzes me with indecision about if i should be with him or not. I know that his intentions are genuine, but I hate that everyone is so cynical and assumes they’re not just because my rocd and his emotional baggage created a messy situation. From the moment i met him I convinced myself it was too good to be true and my therapist even said I was self-sabatoging. But i hate not knowing if it is rocd and my insurance doesn’t cover NOCD. He is so patient with me and supportive but I keep hearing things like “the honeymoon stage is supposed to last 3 months” and “it shouldn’t be this hard with the right person” “you’re not good for each other” and my friends tell me i didnt do anything wrong etc bc he did at first say my ocd didnt affect him when in reality that led to him ending it initially. But he has been more upfront with his emotions but then my mom and people will say “more to come” “there’s so much more out there” and its just so isolating not having that support and wondering if im too young to settle and if I’m just an idiot convincing myself I have rocd when really i just don’t want to be with him/it is a toxic relationship. When in reality the only reason it is toxic is because i am so sporadic about whether or not I want him in my life because of my distrust in myself and my decisions. I love him but I know love isn’t always enough and I get existential fixating on what’s “meant to be” and what’s “supposed to happen” its like this debilitating urge to control everything and make everything go perfectly how it is supposed to go. Please help i just want to make the right decision and stop paralyzing myself with doubt
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