I’m currently struggling with guilt from checking OCD. By this I mean, I feel guilty and shameful by my OCD checking because I feel as that was immoral and wrong and I really don’t know what to do. How can I fight this?
:( I’m sorry, I go through this too. I sobbed for weeks over my checking compulsion because it felt so immoral, so wrong, so unjustifiable. I’m so sorry you’re experiencing this. It’s a gut wrenching experience. All I could do was do my best to accept that a compulsion is JUST a compulsion. A faulty safety mechanism gone wrong. Done out of ANXIETY. Even if you felt like you were doing it for bad reasons, that likely was a compulsion too (pretending to do something for bad reasons, or trying to see if you could do it for bad reasons). It took me almost a month to finally come to terms with the fact that it is ***just*** a compulsion. It was so hard. Mine was a POCD themed one. Checking during self intimacy. I felt awful. Horrible and terrified it would happen again out of anxiety. My OCD would say “you sexualized kids, you tried to get off to violent immoral thoughts of children, *just* like a pedophile.” And then I would spiral, I was debilitated by depression and guilt for two weeks. Even writing this out right now has made me cry. Please just know that you’re not alone, even if your checking compulsion was different. All it says about you is that you’re anxious. That you have OCD. That you have a conscience. Please don’t be scared of it happening again, if it does just simply try to stop it. Don’t beat yourself up. It is ***just*** a compulsion. It’ll get easier, just keep steering yourself away when you realize it’s happening and try to remember it is only a compulsion. I had to let the guilt die down on its own, my therapist suggested trying to coexist with it because fighting it away would make it worse.
It is hard to believe “it’s just a compulsion.” Because ocd loves to connect behaviors with what one is seeing. I go to Therapy and ERP seems to make it worse! Very scared right now- not in a good place. OCD tells me it wasn’t a compulsion
@Tony Davies It does lie to us, and I know how hard it is to believe it was just a compulsion because it feels like anything but that. I’m sorry you’re experiencing this, it’s truly terrifying
@issphra 🫶🏻 Exactly ur so right
@issphra 🫶🏻 I’m stuck with dwelling on the compulsion and feeling guilty about it. How can I talk myself out of the accusations from ocd and lies
@Tony Davies Guilt can be SO loud, but it doesn’t always tell the truth!
It’s hard to believe my compulsion was a compulsion…. It feels like it’s not and ocd tells us it’s not… it lies to us.
Hey
I really appreciate all ur help You get it
Hi Tony, guilt is a really common experience with OCD. The cycle of OCD is so persistent. Intrusive thought, following by discomfort, then demands to do compulsions, temporary relief, but then around and around it goes. Sounds like your discomfort is guilt, which is so common with OCD. Remember, we try our best and choose opportunities to lean in to discomfort - even guilt! We do not need to engage in this feeling, give it meaning, or push it away. Our goal is to find the sweet spot of letting it be without it giving it power over us. Consider self-compassion and grace for yourself - this is tough work! Keep sharing with us and take a look around the website to learn more about OCD! https://www.treatmyocd.com/
@Katelin Jobin I don’t know what to do, I felt into a relapse today by checking my OCD and falling into reassurance seeking and I feel wrong gross and terrible, and I don’t know what to do. I need help.
I did a few sexual compulsions (only with myself of course) in the past (2 months ago , did it couple of times) and I regret it BADLY I want to die every time because of that because of the guilt that I can’t handle it I feel like a monster I can’t move on from this. I feel like I deserve nothing in life. I prefer to kill myself then do it again. Like what went on my mind. I wanted to check and get rid of the thought but I can’t live with the shame. I posted this a few times but cant move on. What I did was BAD sexual compulsion. My therapist said to me that people with ocd can have a sever compulsions. And I think I told her about this compulsion but I think she forgot so I’m planning to said it to her again so she will tell me if it’s actually ocd or not. And the fact that I did have another themes before Pocd but I don’t know if I have Pocd anymore cause I feel like a monster and like I crossed the line. I’m terrified that I went to far. I regret I badly. There is not a single day I’m not thinking about it and want to kill my self. That compulsion is against my morals like I become the person I was afraid of all the time. The shame will it me until the day that I die
Feel guilty for not giving into compulsions like rumination and confessing? I feel guilt for having an intrusive thought, trying to shrug it off or just giving it a few seconds of thought and moving along. This sounds like improvement but I still struggle with the anxiety and the guilt. The shame. I’ll be okay and then I’ll remember I have OCD and my stomach will drop and I just want to curl up and cry.
When OCD latches onto your morals, it can make you question whether you're a good person, even over small things. Have you ever felt overwhelming guilt over something others would brush off?
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