OCD is one of those mental health conditions that’s often so misunderstood, even by people who are supposed to help us, like therapists. It gets reduced to just being about hand-washing or checking locks, but it’s so much more than that. What’s frustrating is that many therapists, especially talk therapists, don’t always have a proper understanding of OCD. They might try to treat it like any other anxiety disorder or just offer generic advice that doesn’t really help with the intense, specific nature of OCD.
And then there’s the stigma around certain types of OCD, like POCD. It’s often misunderstood and misrepresented in a way that makes it feel like something even more taboo or shameful. POCD is just another form of OCD, where intrusive thoughts and fears about causing harm to children pop up, even though the person experiencing them would never act on them. But the shame and embarrassment that come with these types of thoughts can be overwhelming. People with POCD feel isolated because society labels them as dangerous or sick without understanding that OCD is making them suffer, not their intentions.
Are you seeing someone who specializes in OCD? It doesn’t seem like you are. And no, we don’t have a more serious problem, it’s just OCD. NOCD has plenty of articles on POCD, and they discuss groinal responses. They’re not uncommon or unheard of. My therapist even brought them up with me before I was experiencing them, just because they’re so common. Groinal responses are something most people experience, but with OCD, we tend to notice them (usually at a bad time when we’re already anxious, like when we see a trigger) and give them extra meaning.
My first therapist didn’t think OCD was the issue either, but I asked her to evaluate me for it. After she did, she concluded I had severe OCD. I ended up switching therapists because she didn’t have enough experience with OCD. Honestly, when I started seeing my current NOCD therapist, I thought she might tell me I was misdiagnosed since my last therapist didn’t know much about OCD. But no, the only mistake my old therapist made was not realizing how *extremely* severe my OCD really was.
You’re doing compulsions right now by digging so deep, trying to disprove what your OCD is telling you, that you’re a bad person. You’re searching for reassurance, but since you’re not finding it, it’s only making you spiral more. You’re not hiding behind anything, OCD is telling you that. It loves to make us feel horrible and then blame us for it. It never wants to take the blame.
